Last House on the Left, Miss March, Sparatcussin'

So I took a look at Last House on the Left and some other stuff over the weekend and knew the world is hanging on my every breath.

Last House on the Left- Typical horror movie where you refuse to believe how dumb your heroes and villans can be at various points. A girl and her parents vacation at a lake house in the middle of nowhere, add escaped convicts and one teenage boy who "lures" two girls to hang out with him and you have the movie. The convicts rape/murder the girls, but one survives a GSW to swim home and her parents unleash unholy hell on the bad folks. Looking past the stupid shit you refuse to believe can happen (example missing two people sleeping in bed from 5 feet away with a gun and letting them get away to only have to be killed later) it's a pretty gritty film not for people who don't like violent acts. The acting was better than most horror movies and the setting is decent, but I'm not going to recommend watching it unless you are a BIG horror movie fan. Nothing is really scary, there is some suspense, but nothing too interesting.

Bottom Line: 6.3 out of 10. Horror movies and me don't usually see eye to eye.

Miss March- It was on and I lowered myself to the written/produced/directed/acted by some guys from The Whitest Guys you Know group I think. It had some funny parts, especially if you like really stupid characters. I just get pissed off with the old shtick of really dumb guy who is so stupid he constantly makes mistakes and is a complete fucking moron. Premise is a high school kid and his gorgeous girlfriend have "saved" themselves for each other on prom night where the guy gets drunk, falls down some stairs, and is in a coma for 4 years. She has moved on to become Miss March in Playboy and he needs to go find her because he's still in love. Best character is Horsedick.MPEG played by Daryl from the office (Craig Robinson). He's an insanely vulgar rapper who is a great over-the-top stereotype who plays it VERY well. I'd see this movie if you want cheap, stupid laughs. It's really only 1.5 hours long and flies by.

Bottom line: 7.2 out of 10. Funny, but nothing special.

Spartacus Blood and Sand is on Starz and I am a HUGE fan. The story is loaded with twists and pure evil. It makes me want to check out HBO's Rome, but this will do. It's just murder, orgy, betrayal, murder, wash, rinse, repeat. Lucy Lawless is awesome, as are most characters actually. I'd recommend checking it out if you enjoy shameless sex and violence and enjoy the gladiator settings of ancient Rome. I'm a big fan needless to say.