EPICNESS

I watched Toy Story 3 and it was from start to finish a fantastic and well-done film. There was no boring moments, only touching, funny, or action-packed moments. Pixar is keeping the magic in movies. While remakes of everything from the A-Team to Zombies are getting thrown at us Pixar brings us gold. Yes that's hypocritical since Toy Story 3 is a remake, but it was one we gave a fuck about from a historied franchise that they created. Apparently historied is not a word...

The usual suspects are all back, minus Po-Beep ()
They are dealing with the rejection of Andy growing older and moving on, away from toys. There's just so many great lessons intertwined into a great story. I can't say enough things about how well done every aspect of this film is.

Bottom line: 9.2 out of 10 (Can't give a kids movie a higher rating than that) See this film as fast as you can.

On the other epic page I got to watch portions of the Isner vs. Mahut match. It's going on almost 10 hours of on court time, the poor bastards. It's 59-59 in the 5th set. To put that in perspective the average tennis match for professional is the best of 3 sets. Maximum games played in that: 39. There are usually tie-breakers, but in Majors not only does it become a best of 5 set brawl, the Australian Open and Wimbledon feature no tie-breakers in the deciding set. It was almost 10 years ago Roddick and El-Ayanoui had an epic 27-25 (I think...) war that ended with Roddick victorious, but utterly exhausted and destined to be plastered in his next match, the Aussie Semifinal. Hats off to the competitors, especially Mahut. Mahut may be the French player, while Isner is American, but my blind hatred for France and unquestioning love for this country cannot shake the fact that Mahut was playing every point like it was his last, while Isner was barely moving during most points. I'm still guessing Isner will win tomorrow due to the fact he is as close to unbreakable as any player in the tournament.

G.I. Joe, the Cliche BOMB

G.I. Joe is an insanely cliche', but I can't say I wasn't entertained. I say it's worth viewing for the great eye candy. Sienna Miller is insanely hot, and Rachel Nichols does very well for herself as well (Note: not the ESPN lady). Anyway it's entertaining after the first hour when they try to establish a plot, which is always a waste of time in an action movie. If you want to watch something with explosions among other action packed things for about two hours, go for it. Bad guys steal weapons, good guys try to get them back. Complicated stories intertwining for no real reason and PRESTO, resolved... Roll credits. Too simple for a real review.

Bottom line: 6.1 out of 10. Some action entertainment, that's all there is for you.

Fear the DEER

I saw a headline that said "Warriors trade Maggette, picks to Bucks" and immediately became terrified we fucked something up behind repair. I am VERY happy to report the Bucks got Maggette for Charlie "Flintstones are still cool" Bell and Dan "I have no real basketball ability other than being 7 feet tall" Gadzuric, who are making around 12 million combined next year AND we get another 2nd rounder out of it. I couldn't be more excited, unless we somehow manage to move Redd for a quality piece and get rid of his salary as well.

The Bucks actually have some hope for next year. A guy like Maggette who was averaging over 18 points a night for G. State (Who knew?) is perfect for his slashing and athletic ability, which the Bucks lack short of Jennings. This sadly means Salmons is gone more than likely, but I'll take Maggette, provided being on a quality Eastern conference team motivates him to play some D... If the Bucks clear Redd SOMEHOW (Feel free Cavs, at least he can fucking shoot unlike every other tool you pair LeBron with) they will have a lot of money available to them to make a push for one of the big names floating out there. We actually have reason to care about basketball short of Marquette and UW this year, and it's a strange feeling.

NBA Free Agency

I'm already excited about the next season for the NBA after reading an article on Chris Bosh and where he MAY end up playing next season. Game 7 should be epic because the Celtics have too much heart/ veteran presence to be embarrassed again in LA. I'm going to say the Celtics will win game 7, somehow rallying around the injured Kendrick Perkins by getting a motivated game out of Rasheed Wallace (God that's a dumb idea), but more importantly I think they will play Tony Allan on Kobe Bryant more since he's the only person to slow down the demon.

Free agency is going to be awesome for the NBA. No matter what fortunes of franchises will be won and lost during this stretch. I think, and this is VERY EARLY obviously that the following things will pan out.

LeBron isn't going anywhere. Neither is D-Wade.

Bosh has a REALLY tough choice between Chicago, and being wooed by Bron and Wade to play with them, if that's the case Bosh in Cleveland means a championship without question. With two players as athletic and dynamic as Bron and Bosh, and some decent role players flocking them (inconsequential) they will win championships. I think Bosh going to the Bulls would make a powerhouse in the East, I'm not sure if they could overtake LeBron, the Magic, or the Celtics, but they'd definitely be in the conversation.

Interesting possibility, Bosh goes to the Suns, but in that case they would have to lose Amare, making it essentially a wash and not putting the Suns over the hump. However Bosh + Nash + Amare= CHAMPIONSHIP. YUP, Nash with two premiere posts would be unstoppable, especially with the decent role players they have now. SO unlikely, but that would be awesome and that's the beauty of it.

I really don't think anyone has any idea how the chips are going to fall this offseason. I think everything hinges on what LeBron will do. The Clippers, the ultimately downtrodden franchise can pick-up LeBron and Bosh to surround Baron, Kaman, Eric Gordon, Rasual Butler, and Blake Griffin. They have size, speed, and way too much ability to fuck it up.

MAYBE THE BUCKS CAN GET BOSH? My head's hurting and I'm just rambling. FUCK this is going to be good.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Great show.

I have seasons 1-4 off an Amazon.com deal and I am SO pleased. The gang is SO funny with their situations and how they handle them SO poorly. I highly recommend Hulu or FX/Comedy central to get your IASiP fix. Start watching this show.

Blackhawks won, which is nice, but has already been forgotten. I did see a distinct spike in Blackhawk merchandise for sale, but not a huge spike in people wearing it. It's nice Chicago has something to be happy about after the Cubs and White Sox shit-shows this year. I would like to witness a Blackhawk game next year, and riot.

Celtics vs. Lakers reaches an epic pitch in game 7. It really seems to be leaning the Lakers way after they mopped up the Celtics today, which sucks. You hate to see the more talented team with less toughness and heart win. That having been said this series has been so up and down who knows. I can only hope the Lakers lay an egg and the Boston Three Party all go off with Rondo learning to shoot from the outside for a big win.

Is there a team that can actually trade for Prince Fielder this year? There really isn't a good home for Fielder unless the Angels are OK with tossing Ervin Santana and a couple of big time prospects perhaps? The Red Sox could make a push if they admit Beltre is a failure and move Youkilis to 3rd base. The Tigers possibly? I was just talking this over with my cousin and we really couldn't think of a decent opportunity to get rid of Fielder this year besides the Angels. Perhaps the Blue Jays? Teams that have the prospects don't have the need, teams with the need (few teams need a first baseman that can't play defense or anything else) don't have the trade parts.

Nadal talk

Nadal is healthy, therefore he wins the French Open without trouble. It's a simple fact that when Nadal is healthy he is a one-man demolition team that is nearly unbeatable, but on clay it becomes simple unbeatable. He generates so much spin on the dirt everyone has to take the ball at uncomfortable levels and it feels like hitting a brick over and over again. Nadal is tireless and gives the most effort of any athlete I have ever seen in any sport. He effortlessly transitions from defense to offense and hits offensive shots from defensive positions. He's improved his serve to add more MPH on regular surfaces and has excellent consistency.

Downside: By playing like a possessed demon he puts incredible strain on his body. His knees have already been explained as the knees of a 50+ year old. There is no way he can continue to torque his wrist so violently from the forehand wing and not have an injury. These are the limiting factors in Rafael Nadal's already prolific career. Enjoy his game while you can, because in three years he will be reduced to much less than this.

The Losers, aptly named

Saw "The Losers" while I had nothing better to do today and it sucked, as I knew it would. It was so terrible that it became comedy. The good news is that they dive right into the plot and get the ball rolling ASAP. 5 special forces guys are on a mission in Bolivia to kill a guy, there are kids in the compound they are going to bomb, guys kill everyone but the kids against orders, helicopter they were supposed to be on gets BLOWED UP (EXTREME!!!). They are black listed and Zoe Saldana, the only reason to watch this movie, comes in with a bunch of money to get them back to the good OLD USA to get REVENGE!!!!

Stupid bullshit compounded by stupider bullshit succumbs to stupidest bullshit and the movie ends with explosions and gunshots, but leaves itself open to A SEQUEL!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't see this movie unless you like movies so dumb you can make fun of them every two minutes because something incredibly stupid happens. Not a fan of really anything in this film besides Zoe Saldana because she is astoundingly beautiful.

Bottom line: 3.4 out of 10. Really stupid, kind of entertaining at times, some action, not worth seeing EVER. Dumb action bullshit at its finest.

Celtics vs. Lakers III is going on and I'm pretty pumped about this. I hate the Lakers and their fucking celebrity fans, Kobe, Gasol (though they are both incredible ball players), and their OWNER. I do love Phil Jackson, but I think the Lakers are just soft, arrogant, and all around douchy. Celtics I am a fan of because they are cagey veterans surrounded by role players, wrapped up in toughness and effort. I am clearly biased, but I love the Celtics just toughing out a win in GAME 2. Ray Allen played as well as anyone could have expected, and will continue to have to do so. Whoever Derek Fisher guards needs to score. That's the only real mismatch the Celtics are provided with on offense. Rondo will need to take Fisher to the hoop, or Allen will have to shoot over him all game. Besides that they will need Garnett away from the basket hitting 20 footers off screen & rolls.

Bottom line: Celtics in 6

Greatness has left us

Heaven may have gained, but Earth has certainly lost. John Wooden, a man of grace and endless class is dead at the age of 99. There is no hunting down a quote to say something nice, but rather an overabundance of such. It really isn't possible to hear someone say something besides glowing praise and admiration. A man who lived by his father's code “Be true to yourself, help others, make each day your masterpiece, make friendship a fine art, drink deeply from good books – especially the Bible, build a shelter against a rainy day, give thanks for your blessings and pray for guidance every day.” to the T. Lew Alcindor said he was "more of a parent than a coach". A strict man who demanded, and received the best from his players. Transforming his players into men in a short 4-year span. His life lessons echo through all of them, forever changed as people, not just players.

It's painful to think about what a loss we've really endured. In a time where players are assumed to be pumping more steroids than a Mr. Olympian body-builder, here was someone who couldn't be accused of anything besides being perfect. The stories you hear of Wooden are all too perfect to imagine. His beloved wife, Nell, was the only women he ever dated. Though she passed 25 years ago, he wrote a love letter to her every Sunday. His "Pyramid for Success" is still a gold standard for leadership and how to live life for anyone. It's not possible to gauge his true impact on not only basketball, but the lives he was a part of. It's really a sad day and tragedy that will never be forgotten. Scott Van Pelt really said it best when he said it isn't possible to think of someone else who has gotten more out of 99 years of life than John Wooden. God bless you and enjoy the most well-deserved trip to eternity of any person to talk the earth.

Perfect game blame

I can't believe the firestorm raping Jim Joyce over his missed call. Jim Joyce doesn't have instant replay at 1/30 the game speed which it occurred at. He made a mistake and he's admitted such. I saw it live and started to celebrate and think to myself how cool it was I saw the 9th inning of a perfect game when it all fell apart. Galarraga handled it well, as did Leyland during the post-game interview. I'm all for instant replay but I am the farthest thing from OK with allowing previous rulings to be overturned. That is asking for a world of hurt. Everyone knows Galarraga had a perfect game and history will reflect that he came within one out that he actually got fair & square of a perfect game. Blown call in a big moment, we've seen this before. Explain to me how Derek Fisher got off a running jumper with .4 seconds on the clock? Or the Kordell Stewart scamper vs. the Colts in the AFC Championship game where he stepped out of bounds? Bottom line: You can't change the past, it's opening Pandora's Box and that's never been a good thing.

Robin Hood and McGruber

Yup, hit the double today with Robin Hood and McGruber.
Robin Hood- Russell Crowe plays the silent, tough guy who is the fearless leader and great man nobody knows about. It heaps historical inaccuracies together and sprinkles in some fact based stuff. It has a little bit of action, but nothing worth watching. I think Cate Blanchett does a really good job, but the script/plot is really boring. I honestly almost fell asleep, that's not even a joke or an attempt at humor. It left it open for some fun sequels, but I can't imagine anyone greenlighting that after this shit-show. Crowe is an archer named Robin Longstride along with your classic Will Scarlett, Little John, and some dude who I really can't remember what his name was. They are fighting in the crusades together for the last ten years, King Richard is killed (stupidly), the nobles taking his crown home are ambushed and murdered, Robin agrees to take Locksley's sword back to his Papa as a deathbed wish. Robin them takes over the helm of being ruler of Nottingham and all the bullshit that goes with it. I like the King John in this one, interesting take on it. Sprinkled some truth about him pissing off the nobles and pissing on the original Magna Carte draft so the nobles would fight for him versus France.

Bottom Line: 5.2 out of 10. Not good at anything, too long and boring for what it should be. Shouldn't Robin Hood be robbing and fucking shit up?

McGruber- I am a sucker for idiotic, sophomoric humor that can be disgusting and wrong, so I enjoyed the film for the most part. Val Kilmer was pretty good as expected as Dieter Von Kunth, and the name led to some comedy for course. A couple of funny running jokes that I laughed at. Kristin Wiig is both gorgeous and hilarious, great combo. Ryan Phillippe is Ryan Phillippe, or however you spell his douchebag name. Side note: Way to fuck it up with Reese Witherspoon Shooter.
Movie has a barely acceptable plot, but has enough funny stuff to piece it together. As always McGruber is too stupid to believe, but it leads to some comedy. If you laugh at stupid shit, random gross stuff and profanity, then by all means see this film. I wouldn't pay to see it in a theatre and I imagine the unrated version will be funnier anyway.

Bottom line: 7.3 out of 10. This rating is too high, but I laughed enough to give it a higher rating than it truly deserves. I fucking enjoyed myself, OK? I'm going to cut your dick off and shove it down your throat.

Kalifornya Gurls

I just heard the latest pop shitfest from Katie Perry and I was far from pleased. I thought to myself, early/mid 90's Snoop would've backhanded the dimples off of Katie Perry if she would've THOUGHT to record this song, much less fucking participated. I came to the realization that I will have to hear this 400 more times this summer and it nearly made me swerve into a tree in anguish.

I just saw Hot Tub Time Machine and I thought it was OK, far from great. I did laugh probably 7 or so times out loud, which means it's worth a viewing. It'll be on cable soon enough and it will need to be seen unedited without question. It's not much of a movie, but has a few funny scenes that make it worthwhile. John Cusack returns to comedy, but Craig Robinson and Rob Corddry carry the film. They provide the only laughter you will enjoy. They didn't play up the 80's enough, there was a lot of shit to make fun of. Time travel happens after they try to cheer up Corddry's character because he tries to kill himself because life sucks, all of their lives suck. The time travel gives them a chance fix their past and make their present lives infinitely better, best part being Rob Corddry making a mockery of the whole thing.

Bottom Line: 6.3 out of 10. As previously stated, take a flier on it knowing you'll laugh a few times, but don't expect a plot/character development/a point.

Weighing in on sports: Celtics in 6 again, worked well for me last time.

Blackhawks in 5, not ready to get the brooms out, but I would certainly not be surprised. They just seem like "the team" of destiny. Doesn't hurt hockey to have a big market team win it all in a previously struggling area. Six or so years ago the Blackhawks were a wreck. Never winning a title during a time where they had most of the All-Star starting line-up (Belfour, Roenick, Chelios, Suter, Amonte, Murphy, Weinrich, Ruutu) had the once proud franchise in complete disarray. It's good to see them back in a power position is a good thing. They are close enough to WI that it's possible to see a game, which is an interesting prospect. Maybe I'll make it down for the riots.

French Open- Robin Soderling hits the ball like a fucking demon. I watched him hit Federer off the court, negating his incredible defense. Soderling's forehand is acid. He moves around and just destroys it on command. He is going to be a VERY tough out on clay if he can keep that nuclear blast in play. Really looking forward to a Nadal/Soderling rematch.