Suck It Yankees

So it's nice to see those overpaid assclowns in NY lose their asses off in the first game of the World Series. It's better to know that over the last 13 Series' the winner of game 1 has won 12 of them. Cliff Lee is some kind of monster and deserves A-Rod money if he throws like this for the rest of the Series. Let's put this in perspective though, the Yankees make $202 million compared to the Phillies and their $114 million. It's just sickening that there is no cap of any kind. The argument is there that teams that pay out the most (See the Mets) aren't guaranteed success. That could be true, but when you pay over $71 million more dollars than the next team in line (Yankees to the Mets), you are going to win games. The Evil Empire snatched up Teixeira, Sabathia, and Burnett in a "down" economy while no other teams could put forth anywhere close to that kind of money. Figure something out that makes for some parity. I can't imagine a more unfair scale to compare it to. The NFL prides itself on parity and its success has far surpassed any other league. The NBA has the luxury tax to keep things fair, NHL has a strict cap, why can't baseball do something? The discrepancy between small market teams and the NY beasts is just unthinkably large. Jeter, A-Rod, and CC make more per year than the bottom 3 teams for sure and probably more than the bottom 6 teams realistically. The Yankees are a Godless abomination and anyone who cheers them on drives me nuts. It's like cheering for the great white shark vs. the seal. The seal merely can survive, it can't kill the shark. The Yankees will be back year after year doing the same thing until I'm old odds are. How is that OK? It's like USC vs. San Jose St. in college football year after year. Thank God Girardi feels it necessary to micro-manage himself into obscurity rather than let his horses do the work for him. Hopefully there will be epic failure for the Yankees and repeat success for the Phils, but that still won't completely satisfy my hatred for the Yankees.

Yankee hate post part 1

This is a preemptive strike because if/when the Yankees win the World Series or a few games and I have to hear the announcers slurping them, I will unleash unholy hellfire upon them. Fuck the Yankees for the most blatant competitive advantage in all of sports, namely 300 million bucks. Be patient my friends and thou shalt be rewarded.

Law Abiding Citizen

Figuring it was time to see a motion picture film I wondered into Law Abiding Citizen and was impressed overall. Gerard Butler has weird mouth movements to cover his accent, but he does a very good job. Jamie Foxx is solid as always and portrays the tireless working man torn between a job that commands 80 hour weeks at least and a family. Butler is legitimately crazy in the film and it's awesome. There are a lot of cool things that happen and it wastes no time getting into it. Butler has his wife and daughter murdered in front of him while he is stabbed and bound. Butler is the wrong man to fuck with and that becomes evident after one of the robbers rolls over on the other one for a reduced sentence. The one who rolls over on the other is the worst human being in the world essentially, but only gets 5 years because his testimony is needed to convict someone of the death penalty in this heinous crime as the DNA evidence is inadmissible. Butler is clearly not pleased and unleashes well calculated hellish fury on those involved. It is fairly disturbing at times and violent, but it isn't Saw or anything. It seems to come to a conclusion a little too quickly as I would have enjoyed more squirming from Jamie Foxx's corner, but the movie leaves nothing to chance. I will not buy the movie, but I'll probably watch it again when it comes to TV.

Bottom Line: 7.1 out of 10. Recommended for the people who liked The Kingdom and Body of Lies.

Public Enemies and the Broncos, pun intended.

I just viewed Public Enemies and will be one of the few people apparently who really enjoyed the film. It is far from a documentary on Dillinger, but was still a very good film that did have enough accuracy in it to sustain and not completely piss me off.
Depp is incredible and Christian Bale is very good as the relentless agent Perkins. Billy Crudup stopped flashing blue dong long enough to be J. Edgar Hoover and have a minor role, as well as STEPHEN DORFF, how the hell did he plummet so fast after Blade????
I feel the film is WAY too similar to Heat, what Micheal Mann hangs his hat on at the end of the night. Really similar film style, especially during action scenes. It has a love story that gets in the way of the good stuff, especially considering Dillinger was NOT a one woman kind of feller. He had several girlfriends and was not in love with the main interest as much as they portrayed. Also, the entire gang escaped at Little Boheimia in Wisconsin. Baby Face Nelson was shot nine times, but still gunned down the two federal agents and escaped only to die later in bed.
Dillinger's death was completely accurate in the film until his last words in the movie, which never occurred since a bullet went through his neck and out his face and he was shot two more times in the chest including one clipping his heart.
I really recommend seeing the movie and it will get a strong 7.8 out of 10 from me. I really wish it wasn't SO similar to Heat, but it stands enough on its own. Depp and Bale are excellent and Mann's style doesn't do it total injustice, I'd just like it less gritty and more polished for a stylized gangster film. Remember crime always fails because the government has infinitely more resources than you and they will utterly dominate you.
Editor's Note: It is totally like Miami Vice too with a worthless time wasting love story, over 2 1/2 hours of length, way too much grainy, close-up, fast moving crap. Heat, Miami Vice, and Public Enemies have identical plot lines to follow.

On to the Broncos being for real. McDaniel convinces whiny millionaires to not turn the ball over and to play hard. Brandon Marshall had a GREAT game vs. the Patriots and clearly isn't letting his 4-year old inspired tantrum ruin his season. Kyle Orton isn't turning the ball over and good defense + decent running game + not turning the ball over = a good team. It isn't scientific in the slightest way. Good coaches get players to buy into their system and play like I described above. McDaniels clearly has that team playing how he wants and they are pretty damn scary. Dawkins was a sensational pick-up in a secondary that already featured Champ Bailey, who is still probably the best cover corner in the league. How about Vonnie Holiday having himself a day? Ron Wolf wouldn't have drafted a failure. I buy the Broncos as a playoff team, clearly not a Super Bowl team since Neck Beard extraordinaire Kyle Orton is still not enough to carry a team that will need some offense to win during a playoff run.

Postseason baseball = Please God somebody beat the Yankees before I have to write a huge bitching session on how the salary cap needs to be in baseball so the fucking Yankees stop buying victories. They have proved if you keep throwing enough money at the free agent market consistently (See Texeira, Sabathia, Burnett for a cool 300 million) you can buy a championship in baseball. I'm saving this rant for later, it will be expletive laced, so don't let my family see it.

Kiss the Baby.

The Goods, not really good.

So... The Goods is cheap, dirty laughs by the bundle. There are funny parts, but the plot, story, and characters are shallow and meaningless. You will laugh, but that's about all there is to it. Jeremy Piven is predictably funny and the side characters have moments, but far too few to stack up to anything special. I really don't have much to say about it besides cheap racial and dirty comments for quick laughs and 81 minutes of a movie that could be told in 20.

6.4 out of 10 for a the laughs. See it when it comes out on video, or cable. Certainly don't knock down any doors to check it out.

Live MNF ramblings

7:43pm- Already thinking Packers O-Line is total garbage after the very first run.
Is anyone else crying a little right now? Good, me neither.
You know what shows a lot of faith in your offensive line? 3 straight screen passes that scream our offensive line is a giant sieve for you to fly through.
7:46pm- Is it too late to have Mark Tauscher suck less than Barbre? False start already? REALLY?
7:49pm- Random thought, if AR12 gets 16 more yards passing I lose in fantasy football again. Thank God for bottom shelf booze.
7:50pm- Sack and a fumble? Didn't see that one coming. Can we have worse NFL tackles? I really don't think it's a possibility. Thank God we drafted Clay Matthews and B.J. Raji in an offensive tackle rich draft.
7:51pm- I'd rather be hit in the balls with a pool cue than see 2012
7:52pm- Camera tricks to make Favre's Steakhouse seem not so empty. Can't wait for the looting and rioting to go down there in 3 hours.
7:53pm- Who told McCarthy to challenge that one? Stevie Wonder or Helen Keller? Hard to think of blind people on the spot.
7:55pm- If you want to win the game you should punch Adrian Peterson in the ribs and kidneys whenver at the bottom of a pile or he's held up. I'm just being honest here, that man is a beast.
7:58pm- Jon Gruden is so much better than Tony Kornheiser it's unreal. Right now Kornheiser would be talking about his fantasy team and I'd be turning down the volume and cursing him.
8:01pm- Sage Rosenfels, Iowa State's finest. Nice look with the hat there fella.
8:02pm- Lot of balls to go for it on 4th and real short in such an emotionally charged game.
8:03pm- I think they're going to be throwing it a lot near the end zone for quite a few "fuck you" touchdowns just to rub it in as much as possible. Burt's projected stat line: 14-17 for 112 yards and 5 Td's.
8:10pm- Jermichael Finley is on my fantasy team bench right now, FML, I suck.
8:18pm- Terrible series for Burt, probably due to the fact that his WR aren't too bright.
8:19pm- Synopsis of friends text message- GB's LB's are not athletic enough to stop Adrian Peterson, but I don't think anyone is.
8:24pm- Going for it? Bad call. That was not caught and Viks should challenge.
8:25pm- It makes me very happy watching Antoine Winfield play the run. The dude is 5' 8" and he just hits people and makes great tackles. So fundamentally sound.
8:27pm- Apparently Winfield plays vs. the pass as well... who knew.
8:33pm- Hearing about Tim Tebow going to class and studying makes me laugh because when I had concussions little things like focusing and not sleeping were pretty difficult to do.
8:35pm- Kampman finally puts Favre to the ground, probably felt pretty good about that one.
8:38pm- 2 TD passes, pretty close to my prediction of 5.
8:46pm- Jon Gruden is a knowledgeable football man, I'll try to stop pimping him now.
8:47pm- Another sack on a crucial 3rd down? It can't possibly be.
8:48pm- I believe Jaws just said "what a motor" talking about Jared Allan... creepy.
8:51pm- I guess rather than punching Adrian Peterson a shitload while he's caught up, you could steal the ball and score a TD, that would work as well...
8:53pm- Peterson fumbling reminds me of in Rocky IV when the trainer yells at Rocky after he cuts Drago "HE'S BLEEDIN'! HE'S NOT A MACHINE, HE'S A MAN!"
8:55pm- Poor Chester Taylor. First he's buried behind Jamal Lewis in his prime, then rushes for 1250 yards and they draft A.P. All Day. I hope he doesn't mind too much.
9:00- Yup, not running within 5 yards of the end zone. Brett likes TD passes.
9:01- QB sneak? Nope, AP. That makes sense at least. It'd take a group of tanks to stop him within 1 yard of the end zone and I'm not exaggerating.
9:02- Has anyone mentioned that Brett Favre loves football yet tonight?
9:04- Has the Packers D stopped the Vikings O legitimately at all tonight?
9:05- What makes McCarthy think AR-12 has more than 3 seconds to throw the ball? Go into halftime thanking God you're only down a TD.
9:10- I am just shocked GB was seriously trying to do something there before the end of the half considering the rape that Jared Allan has been laying down on us.
9:30- Aaron Kampman must really be happy dropping back into coverage since that's his strength and everything.
9:31 GB is getting shredded like the Cambodian rebels after John Rambo gets behind the .50 cal in the new Rambo film.
9:33- Holding calls during kick returns aren't hurtful at all to field position.
9:38- GB Offensive line is utterly useless and just getting thrown around like rag dolls.
9:40- Anyone that said Favre is washed up punch square in the face and show them the stat line of 18/21 with 221 yards and 3 TD's while having 0 turnovers.
9:44- Good job by the officials for not letting the challenge unfuck their mistake. Way to get together and make the right call the first time around. Good job stripes, they don't hear that enough and that is a fact.
9:45- Whenever Kuhn gets the ball they need to play a clip from South Park about how the Coon is what this city needs etc. Cartman was great in that episode.
9:48pm- If any team wanted to go for it on 4th down they should run on 2nd and 3rd down then.
9:48- Donald Lee, this is the last time you play over Jermichael Finley
9:52- I was hoping for a QB draw on 4th and 1 right underneath the gap made by where Jared Allan rushes downfield. That would have been genius.
9:53- Modus operendi Jaws? M.O. would've been fine rather than you butchering that one.
9:55- Saving Silverman is on and "COME IN DA YAAAAHAAA"
9:57- Fuck Mike Crabtree. Even if he signs I hope Singletary treats him like a rented mule and beats him into the ground for his insubordination.
9:58- Sidney Rice must've benefited from being around Steve Spurier because he made a great decision to just chuck the ball out of play there rather than do the typical WR or RB playing QB and just chuck some garbage up for grabs.
10:01- If I started Jermichael Finley I'd be winning by 1 point and FUCK MY LIFE. Though I am going against AR12, so odds are he'll get a few more yards before this is done.
10:05- Sack #6, just call AR12 Dave Carr from here on out.
10:08- Is it too late to maybe try to play Kampman at OT and LB this year? That, or coax Jon Ogden out of retirement, or even Tony Boselli.
10:10- Brutal Legend the video game is one of the dumbest things I have ever viewed.
10:11- Pulling up random stats like Brett Favre is the only QB to have 10 straight games at the Metrodome with 2+ TD's is thankless, and meaningless work.
10:12- How many random records to Favre hold? It has to be just insane. Most games played during waning crescent moon phases, you got it... BRETT FAVRE.
10:16- GB needs Tate Forcier if they want to win this thing.
10:18 Antoine Winfield just sexually aroused Jon Gruden.
10:19- I've never seen such crappy blocking in my years on earth. Jared Allan is quite a beast though. That was not a fumble, so GB will have the honor of punting from their 1-foot line.
10:24- Check that: SAFETY. 7 sacks, those are fucking NFL Blitz/ Tecmo/ Madden numbers.
10:25- Onside punt anybody?
10:26- I was unaware that Phil Simms played until he was so old. I do remember Jeff Hostetler winning a Super Bowl in his stead however.
10:27- Brett Favre slurpfest. Him "loving the game is mentioned 3 times."
10:32- Maybe this isn't over, but REALLY unlikely on this one.
10:34- Gruden giving a well-deserved AR12 shout-out for getting beaten like a red-haired step-child for the last 3 hours and not cowering like a scared puppy in a thunderstorm.
10:35- I don't think using the traditional "pocket" is working for the Packers. Maybe they should just have Rodgers roll out on every play in some way or another. It's just awful.
10:37- Sidney Rice, that is how you play hands team. I really wish somebody just drilled him though because that's fun to watch, like SpongeBob on LSD, or so I've heard :(
10:42- Why hasn't somebody attempted to chop block Jared Allan until his knee ligaments and tendons explode? It's less embarrassing than having him record 4 sacks on your ass.
10:47- Packers playing smart with no timeouts is just shocking me.
10:48- Taking off your helmet and beating Allan to death at this point would be less embarrassing than having him make you look like your little sister playing football.
10:50- I love the onside kick in all its horrifically violent beauty.
MAN-SIZED effort from Sidney Rice on that one again. Hats off to anyone who jumps as high as they can exposing their soft tissues to get a ball that 6 insanely large and athletic men are running full speed at.
Packers still can't block, Vikings are still undefeated.

ANVIL (Documentary movie)

I recently saw Anvil, a documentary about the band Anvil. Anvil apparently had a run in the 80's where they were a good metal band that played at real shows and had a real tour and following. This takes place 25 years after they were relevant in our world, but makes the film SOOO much better. It essentially follows Lips, the lead singer the most, and his best friend Robb Reiner, not the Harry Met Sally/ A Few Good Men director, but drummer of Anvil. Reiner is very quiet, a true artist who paints VERY good landscape pictures that found a home in his basement.

Lips isn't the brightest fellow, but has so much enthusiasm and drive to carry this dream 30 years. They do a European tour that is a tragedy because their manager has no idea what she's doing, or any real experience, but tried and failed. They play at very small shows and don't get paid on more than one occasion. They play at a festival where Lips runs like an excited kid to catch up with former Black Sabbath guitarist, "Ax Man", Tommy Iommi. He even is in awe of Scorpion guitarist Rudolf Schenker, whom he credits for developing "Half of his style". I was absolutely in awe of the fact that Lips had so much energy and love to keep his dream alive. They fight to record a 13th album "the right way" and try to get a big-time label to back them. After numerous rejections they release 1,000 copies themselves to get it to fans that they feel deserve the album and say that it wouldn't matter if it sold 1 or 100 million, it's a good album that they're proud of. It made me find a new level of respect for bands that didn't make it as an enormous commercial success. Anvil has been grinding for 30 years while the lead singer and guitarist works at a catering company on the side.

It's such a great character study in one example of a million bands who didn't make it. The difference is that Anvil keeps touring and doing what they love for the people that love them. It was really uplifting and powerful. You find yourself wanting their success so badly that you want to run out and buy Anvil albums and help them out. I can't say enough good things about it and the fact that VH1 was showing it was just awesome. I can't recommend it highly enough if you are a fan of music, or a human being with feelings.

A rare 9.6 out of 10 because it's just fantastically done showing their vulnerability as regular people with a dream that they refuse to let die. This one will probably be a purchase for myself and here's to hoping Anvil sees some kickbacks for this one.

Can't wait for the Tigers vs. Twins one-game playoff, or the Packers vs. Vikings. Rivalry games at their finest in the Autumn cold is just a thing of beauty.

Note: I'm going to lose both weeks in fantasy football again since 30% of my starting lineups were on a bye, so I'm still getting fisted on that one. Editors note: Apparently "fisted" isn't a verb, or I'm misspelling it?

Fantasy Football injustice

I was lamenting about the raping that has been my fantasy football season so far, but the facts are in and its even more frustrating than before. I'm the 2nd highest scorer in one league, but have had 94 points scored on me more than ANYONE ELSE. Combine that with the horrific truth that I haven't started the correct lineup EVER and I'm really pissed off. Would Anquan Boldin or Larry Fitzgerald care to stop playing like they have one leg a piece? I'd also appreciate SOMEBODY calmly mentioning that Willis McGahee will be scoring all the TD's for the Ravens so I can go back in time and draft him instead of Ray Rice.

Also would anyone remind the Panthers that scoring TD's is what an offense is supposed to do? Owning Deangelo Williams and Steve Smith in one league hasn't been a real sound combination so far. I also swung and missed in having 1/2 of my teams have a bye week on week 4. I just picked up Celek to supplant Tony Gonzalez only to find out he has a bye week this week TOO!!!! FML. I had to pick up Mercedes Lewis now, and that is just not going to produce for me. Thank God I'm only donating 20 and 25 bucks respectively to leagues comprised of mainly my friends, but FUCK I have decent teams and get no love from the fantasy Gods.

The latest kick to my already swollen fantasy balls was Frank Gore being useless last week and hurt for 3 or so more weeks. I'm strong at RB, but would probably like to have the guy coming off of 217 yards and 2 TD's in 3 quarters in my starting lineup.

The Brewers should start figuring out which veterans they are going to send the way of Old Yeller and get the youth movement in full swing. My Ginger friend mentioned we could feasibly sign John Lackey if we get rid of Cameron and Kendall. We could dominate free agency by somehow getting rid of Jeff Suppan to ANYONE. I'd be a fan of signing Sheets to some kind of deal for a year or two to see if he can be something similar to his former self for awhile at a discounted rate.

I have to start writing down on paper when I get pissed off so I can have decent blogs rather than crying about fantasy football failures.