Sunday, April 25, 2010

NFL Draft = FAIL

The NFL draft is normally an exciting time where your team brings in new players with new hopes and dreams. In my life it's when my favorite team, the Jacksonville Jaguars, make me question why in God's name I like them.

The Jaguars received a D in Mel Kiper's grades. The only team to receive a D, the lowest score given. The bottom line was they drafted one player in Kiper's top 100, at #10 overall. In reality Tyson Alualu could have been drafted in the second round. My biggest issue with drafting a player at #10 is make DAMN sure they are a talented player warranting such a pick. Tyson Alualu isn't a bad player, he just isn't a TOP 10 player, FYI not many are. A team like the Jags with a lot of spots to fill with some talent can't fuck up so brutally. Relative value is a simple concept. Tyson Alualu is good, but no other team was going to take him in the first round. Common sense would then dictate that YOU NOT TAKE HIM 10th OVERALL. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK...

Just ruined my day. There was no redemption later on taking a talented player who fell due to various things: Underperformed during the last year, injury, off-field issues. They just sucked at everything drafting nobody that I've heard of. I just hate when your one chance to get new talent is used to get guys who maybe can be productive starters, nothing else. I watched the everyone else in the AFC South get better with the exception of the Jaguars it feels like. The Texans drafted Derrick Morgan, who I thought would've been a much better pick than Tyson Alualu. They could've traded down, done SOMETHING to not look like a bunch of retarded kids trying to fuck something.

Why am I a Jaguars fan?

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Roger Goddell, "The Ginger Hammer", Judge, Jury, and Executioner

I didn't know the NFL was similar to tribal lands where the laws of the United States are irrelevant and meaningless. Big Ben gets suspended for almost half a season based on rape accusations that didn't even find their way to court? Somebody explain to me why women everywhere don't start blackmailing NFL players so they don't push rape charges on them? All you need are collaborating friends and there you have it.

I'm certainly not saying rape is acceptable, it is rather the farthest thing from it. What I am saying is that if you are accused of a crime that never makes it to court for lack of evidence, you probably are innocent. In being innocent I would think the ordeal itself is enough punishment, but lucky for the world Roger Goddell feels like playing overprotective Dad to the world and suspend Ben Rothlisburger regardless of the findings of the GA police.

If you were suspended without pay from your job for something you were accused of, but never made it to court, what would you think? How is this even possible? Stern was criticized for having a dress code in the NBA, but Goddell walks on water above apparently. Who the fuck gets power like this? He's fucking over the entire Pittsburgh team with this one. NO team could play very well with Byron Leftwich or Dennis Dixon at QB. Who the fuck decided Goddell has no checks or balances against him? Why does he get to flip a fucking coin and hand out suspensions? Nobody should have power like this when hundreds of millions of dollars are at stake and an entire teams season. No player deserves to be suspended for a crime that there was not enough evidence against them to prove anything.

Ben likes to go to clubs, drink, and have sex (hopefully consensually). He's a young, single man. Where in all of this is conduct unbecoming to the team/ the league? Nobody on the Knicks was suspended for having sex with a bunch of strippers. No other league is so self-righteous and full of bullshit to think it needs to police itself by suspending players for things Ginger FUCK doesn't like. There's nothing written about hanging out at clubs, or even being a man-whore, being an offense warranting a suspension. Do you think Joe Namath should have been suspended? Why does Goddell think he has all this power? Who lets him be this big of an asshole? What a power/attention hoarding fuck.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Dear NFL, why is the draft on Thursday?

The once sacred Saturday of the NFL draft is no more. I can no longer commit to an entire day of sitting around, hungover, staring at the TV while 6 guys from ESPN talk for 8 hours about their opinions of a bunch of players who may, or may not ever do anything of note in an NFL uniform. Why on Thursday night? Why try to turn this event into something besides a weekend event? This isn't primetime worthy. This is for a dark basement at 9am, not mainstream. It's betrayal, but ESPN will bastardize anything for more money/attention.

Big Ben is suspended for something that our own legal system isn't pursuing. Lucky for us Roger "Ginger Hammer" Goddell seems to think he's the renegade cop who can take the law into his own hands. Note to any women out there: Be seen with an NFL player, get pictures taken, blackmail player into paying you money so you don't accuse them of rape and get them suspended (you're welcome). Men may be able to get this to work as well, but only on Eli Manning.

I'm strangely excited for the NBA/NHL playoffs. I've been dropping in on most games, but using superior ADHD to switch between a Brewers game, an NHL game, and an NBA game at the same time. It would drive other people to murder me, but I'm quite good at flipping between pitches and stoppages in play. I'm not waiting 13 seconds for the pitcher to throw again, I'm dropping in on a Coyote power play for 13 seconds and then when play is stopped flipping back to catch the pitch. Efficiency.

I will try to see the Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassis this week at some point. I've fallen behind in my movie watching to play golf, and I apologize. I haven't been too jacked up to see anything to be honest though. Green Zone, Clash of the Titans, Kick-Ass are all on the list, I just haven't done anything about it. Perhaps I'll hit a Trifecta and see them all in the same day.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Bill Simmons, may the 7th sphere of hell prepare for you

In the latest I fucking hate Bill Simmons moment he wrote his latest "I'm awesome and everyone I like is the bestest" article he talks about Tiger Woods in another slurpfest despite the obvious fact that anyone with a soul would've talked about the most inspirational golf story ever of Phil Mickelson winning the Masters with his wife and family by his side battling breast cancer. Here's real writing Simmons you FUCKING EAST COAST COCKSUCKING FUCK CLOWN RETARD. http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/news/story?id=5077009 That's Rick Reilly, who can be found directly next to Simmons puking shitty writing at ESPN.com.

I used to like Bill Simmons and enjoy some of his articles still, though ever more rare. I just can't possibly look past his egocentrism and basic xenophobism for all things that he likes and doesn't like. It just destroys me that the silver lining he took from the Masters was Tiger's golf game was doing pretty well. I still want to punch Tiger Woods in the face, as should most of the world. To not want Phil Mickelson to win the Masters with his family there seems beyond awful. I hope karma plagues Tiger, as well as galleries screaming things similar to the names I call Bill Simmons.

Side note: Kind of a fan of E:60 and 30 at 30 documentaries on ESPN. Watching Michelle Akers, aka the best women soccer player ever before Mia Hamm, cares for horses now with all of her career "earnings". She didn't make much, but is selling her memorabilia to support her goal of helping unfortunate horses. Her old coach got the soccer community involved, so the women's pro team in Atlanta is helping, as well as her friends donating money. A local contractor, who they didn't name, which is totally fucking bullshit, is donating his time to help her. There was flooding that she's rebuilding from, and it's heartwarming and great. Can't say I'd ever do something similar, but it is great to see somebody so passionate for something money means nothing.

I went to a benefit for a friend's son who was born with his skull plates already fused on Sunday. It made me the beauty of a small town. I watched probably 1,000 people cram into the Dorf Haus dance hall, the same where my sister's wedding reception was held, to raise money to help for medical costs. I saw two people turn back the 50/50 profits to help raise more money. Our local Sentry had a $1300 bake sale over the weekend. It was a goosebump creating experience to see the time and effort brought forth from the family and community. It made me really happy to know the small time love still exists.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Journalistic Integrity

I finally watched Good Night and Good Luck, a film I was supposed to see 5 years ago and have owned for probably almost a year. It's the story of Edward R. Murrow and the struggle to expose Joe McCarthy as a fraud and overall loud-mouth hate spewing fuckface piece of shit. It's a great film that I recommend to everyone. I am an enormous fan of quality black and white and it set a great tone for the movie. Unbelievable ensemble cast like George Clooney, Robert Downey Jr, Jeff Daniels, and the best actor nominee for his part of Ed Murrow David Straithairn. You'll notice pretty much everyone in the film. What I walked away with was a man who unflinchingly believed that the role of news was to be a watchdog and truth bringer to the American public.

Just because I feel like I have to BOTTOM LINE: 8.6 out of 10. It isn't in 3D, so Avatards need not apply to a well done and well thought out film.

It made me think about who I trust for news, and the correct response if you're playing at home is nobody. We don't have a Ed Murrow, or Walter Kronkite of our generation that we trust to say it like it is. Our CNN and Fox News outlets are always under scrutiny for slanting left or right, but certainly not to be trusted is the bottom line. Who is a trusted news source, or even a trusted news anchor in this day and age? As I randomly have Bulls on Parade come on I realize that no matter what you have to respect somebody that stands up for what they believe in and never cheat that, like Rage Against the Machine. I absolutely don't believe in what they do, but I respect how they stand up for what they believe in at all times. You aren't going to see Zach de la Rocha selling out.

Who is our watchdog? In the hunt to make news more popularized to make more money, who has ultimately suffered? It has to be the public. You're more likely to get groundbreaking information from a camera phone than you are from a news network. It's no wonder newspaper is a dying medium, the quality has not advanced in 40 years. I got a C in News Writing because I thought AP style was boring and outdated. My professor was a 70 something former reporter and editor, you can probably see the issue there.

I guess all I'm getting at is who is trustworthy for getting the public real news to make the world a better place? As Ed Murrow said, TV without it is merely a box, lights and wires.

I'll probably save cheap shots at reality TV for a rant later on.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

One Whining Moment

The highlight of my tournament was shot into pieces by Jennifer Hudson. A special moment for me to relive the great moments of the tournament all set to the great and soulful voice of Luther Vandross, what could be better. Getting a little teary eyed and goosebumped because of all the greatness being thrown at your ears and eyes. Why did something so perfect get fucked with?

It's bad enough I have Jennifer Hudson whining One Shining Moment, but I don't need to fucking watch her do it in a studio. I could have watched American Idol if I gave a fuck about Jennifer Hudson singing. I DO NOT want my clip montage fucked up with shots of Jennifer Hudson in a recording studio. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

Who the fuck did this at CBS? Are they fighting to earn "Biggest group of chucklefucks" at the next TV executive convention? Who decided to make it a more pop-like infusion of garbage? It just hurt me and made me have trouble sleeping thinking about how fucking awful it was.

Why can't we honor the memory of Luther Vandross by immortalizing him with his most famous achievement? I'm dead serious, if anyone thinks the new version is better meet me in a parking lot somewhere.

Fuck Duke.