Random movies

I saw Rudo y Cursi on demand today. I was pretty impressed with the film overall. You hvae to read subtitles, which is pretty depressing for the most part. It's all in Spanish, but tells a very interesting story of two brothers and their strange and unexpected careers as soccer players in Mexico. They are both discovered by the same "talent" scout who takes them to Mexico City where they play in the top league for different teams and both experience a lot of success at different times. The movie is about how they handle the success, how it ruins them, and eventually changes them. You may recognize some of the actors, but none are really household names in the states. I'd actually recommend seeing the movie. It's a good drama that keeps moving at a pretty rapid pace, so it avoids being boring.

Bottom line: 8.1 out of 10. It's on demand I think on Starz, so take advantage immediately.

I also watched Uncommon Valor while being online and was delighted in the 80's cheesiness of it all. Gene Hackman, Swayze, the guy in Tremors who isn't Kevin Bacon, and some other familiar faces make up the ensemble cast. Like so many other films a POW rescue is what it's all about. There's a lot of cheesy scenes that I view as funny, but are supposed to be meaningful. It's not like Over the Top, but it's interesting enough. "You don't quit boy. Not when its' for real", is the highlight line for me. I'd recommend a viewing if you like laughing at badly done drama from the 80's and random explosions.

Bottom Line: 6.4 out of 10. Another on demand find that I enjoyed while doing other things. Really didn't command my attention, but Gene Hackman is the man.

Who wants a RANT?

Greg Oden had naked pictures of himself thrown all over the internet. What the fuck was this guy thinking? He's like a taller, black Abraham Lincoln with a gap in his teeth. Greg Oden naked sounds like a nightmare for most normal people. If he wanted to turn on his girlfriend he should've just taken pictures of himself signing his rookie contract, that would've been a lot sexier. That, or just pull a Scrooge McDuck and swim around bottomless in a bank vault full of gold coins. Roseanne Arnold could do that and I'd be turned on.

Arenas and Crittenton, the idiots who decided to have a mexican standoff in the Wizards locker room, are now banned for the season. This is once again another example of a commissioner acting like judge and jury for his league. Why does Stern, who was once a lawyer, feel like he has to go Roger "The Ginger Hammer" Goddell on this thing and suspend both players for the year? Its' not enough with the impending criminal charges is it? Why the double whammy for athletes? I agree that most employees ripping pieces at each other would get fired, but if you don't get fired you'd think your job wouldn't suspend you on top of your sentencing.

The Aussie Open has been entertaining and had some decent upsets. Our boy Roddick gracefully bowed out as always in a hard fought 5 setter vs. some Eastern Euro trash named Marin Cilic. Roddick has Wimbledon and that'll be about it. It's possible if Federer stops caring about tennis and raises kids instead that he could make a run at the US Open because Djokovic is soft, Nadal is always hurt, Murray is a ginger kid, and Roddick's serve can be utterly untouchable. Serena should run through this thing for the women's side, and it's good to see Justine Henin's fantastic one-handed backhand in full force. If she had any size she'd be utterly untouchable, like a Steffi Graf. She can do anything on the tennis court. The men have Federer left, meaning its simply his tournament and any other outcome would be startling.

The Pro Bowl is coming up and I'd rather watch ants colonize.

I'll try to watch some movies or something to enlighten you in the near future.

Everyone off the Brett bashing wagon

I've heard enough about how Burt Farv has betrayed us all for awhile now. It is a fact that he does procrastinate and piss everyone off by not knowing if he wants to retire or not. A fact is that we don't know what it's like to be in his shoes. I totally believe the fact that he doesn't know whether or not he wants to play football until Summer comes around. It isn't fair that he dodges training camp, but in the same respect he's older than some head coaches, I think he's perhaps earned that right.

Lest we all forget that the Packers told him essentially they didn't him back as the starting quarterback. He has proven the last two years he's still a top-tier quarterback. The Packers went in a different direction that was more economical and longer-lasting vs. hoping Brett wins a Super Bowl within the next couple of seasons and letting Rodgers become a free agent. It wasn't mutual because Brett wanted to be the Packers starting QB and Ted Thompson/ upper management and whoever else signs the paychecks didn't. I imagine Mike McCarthy would've wanted him back, but he doesn't make the real decisions. There's nothing else to say other than he had a great year, he threw an extremely untimely INT as usual, but he never should have been in that situation. Longwell cannot knock down 50 yarders anymore with consistency I'm guessing and they needed a few more yards. They should've just ran with AP "All Day" and taken whatever he got them and settled for that instead of rolling Favre out right and hoping someone got open. A screen or shovel pass would've been sufficient as well, but it's all done. We are going to wait 6 more months to see what Brett wants to do and he'll come back to a loaded Vikings team and return as favorites of the NFC North and will more than likely beat down the Packers twice more next year because he's still a fucking great QB.

Book of Eli, Men Who Stare at Goats, Twilight?

Time to get back to the meat and potatoes of this thing.

Men Who Stare at Goats- A lot of great actors populate this strange film that is probably more true then we'd really like. It follows a writer (Ewan McGregor) who interviews what he thought to be a crazy man played by Milton form Office Space (Stephen Root). Root's character more or less tells Obi-Won he was part of a large group of psychics the government trained to be "Jedi warriors". Jeff Bridges plays THE DUDE, only he's employed by the army to train psychic super soldiers. Clooney is the prized pupil who McGregor runs into in Iraq and they sharea quirky/zany adventure full of weirdness. It has some funny moments, but I would not under any circumstances recommend full viewing of this film. I did laugh a few times, but it's overall just really strange and weird. Drags on for too long and really accomplishes nothing.

Bottom Line: 3.5 out of 10

Book of Eli- This was monumentally disappointing for me. A film that would use Denzel Washtington as an unreal BADASS who kills stuff and walks around with a bible seemed too good to be possible. Chip in Gary Oldman and Mila Kunis and this seemed like a home run in the making. There are about 3 badass parts in this entire shitshow. I'm going to just ruin the fucking thing because it's terrible. There is a nuclear holocaust where most people are wiped out, or the sky opens and burns earth to shitty ash. The bible is blamed for it and they are all systematically destroyed. Denzel carries around the last King James bible in his pack and won't let anyone touch the thing. He kills a few people and continues walking West because that's what God wants him to do. He runs into a rundown town to trade some things, ends up killing a bunch of people and the town leader (Oldman) takes a liking to him. Oldman throws Kunis at him to try to show him a "good time", she sees the book and Oldman tortures the information out of her. Denzel goes back on the road, Kunis forces him to take her along. HERE IS WHERE I RUIN THE MOVIE FOR YOU. Oldman and the bunch of crazy folk in the town shoot up everybody and take the bible, shooting Denzel in the gut and leaving him. Kunis then breaks free of them and drives back to Denzel, they just run off with the bible because it is going to be used to brainwash everyone into doing what Oldman wants, the ultimate source of power 30 years after the holocaust. Denzel and Kunis make it out West to Alcatraz where Malcolm McDowell has set up a printing press and starts publishing books and Denzel gives the bible to him, verse by verse. For those keeping track at home, try reciting a 1,000 page book sometime. Oldman finds out the bible is in braille, Denzel lives to finish the job, dies, the bible is printed and Kunis just leaves to do her own thing. So the ultimate kick in the balls is that Denzel is blind the entire FUCKING TIME. He kills 30 guys being blind, shoots people being blind, and has survived 30 years in nuclear winter being blind. FUCKKKKKK. If it sounds dumb, it's because it REALLY IS. I was SUPER disappointed and it really does suck ass.

Bottom Line: 2.5 out of 10, EPIC FAIL. Do not waste your time, but hopefully Youtube compiles Denzel just straight murdering folk.

Twilight- It's on Showtime, so I figured if I want to do this for real I need to see this piece of shit so I can tear it to pieces properly. Purely disappointed in it because I was as entertained as I am when I watch a blank screen. Someone explain to me how that film was good at all? Is that ho true love is supposed to be? A really creepy punch of pail people hanging out and not doing much of anything? It's nice how they preface the next film a little bit, but my GOD there is nothing of interest here. I really need to know how people think that movie is decent. If you are a man DO NOT SEE THIS FILM. If you are an emo, go for it, because that discounts you from being a man. I really figured it was more entertaining and less sappy crappy bullshit. WOW, they just met and they are in love for eternity, AWESOME.

Bottom Line: 3.5 out of 10. Do not even see just because it's free on Showtime.

I've had a total shitshowing for films this last week. Maybe I'll try Sherlock Holmes and see if that ends this streak of shit garbage.

Super Bowl picks: Vikes vs. Colts. Which QB is more COUNTRY, the cajun, or the Mississippi redneck?

Aussie Aussie Aussie

I'm enjoying myself some tennis going on Down Under. It kind of sucks not having an American of any kind to cheer for with a chance of winning something. I will be routing for Roddick all the same though. I don't think there's a player on the tour that tries harder, and considering his wife is Brooklyn Decker, that's asking quite a bit. Not a lot of early impressions because I haven't seen that much, so I'll try to pay more attention.

24 is back on and that means Monday's are to consumed for an hour by Jack Bauer. Pretty excited to have 24 back kicking ass and racking up corpses. It may be too late to jump in, but just know it does an incredible job of keeping 24 hours of television interesting.

I'm going to see Men Who Stare at Goats and I'm attempting to watch Twilight on Showtime so I can actually destroy it from the core having actually seen it. I still blast the shit out of it, but now I'll have pointed direction for my hatred.

The Olympics and the World Cup are going to be going on soon and that's AWESOME. North Carolina basketball has started to shit the bed and it's really pissing me off. There is nothing resembling defense played on that team. I used to pawn it off on the fact they are young and will learn, but there is not any hope for Larry Drew's defense. I'm convinced that I could beat him to the hoop. I'm just throwing out a bunch of stuff because I haven't posted in awhile, so I'm posting about stuff I'll be posting later.

FAIL and FML.

Observations

Is it too much to ask for very good service from the D team at restaurants? I picked up a Papa Murphy's pizza with 10 minutes left before closing. It took them 12 minutes to get me out of there. It didn't help that the guy making the pizza looked like Chumlee from Pawn Stars. The dude seemed just stoned. He could barely move it seemed. I'm fairly sure he skimped out on some of the pepperoni and salami I was entitled to. I was honestly thinking about asking if I could get tagged in and make the fucking thing myself. I thought about saying something, but just kept my mouth shut because somebody else came in and my pizza therefore took twice as long. The other employee was this bitchy goth want to be looking high schoolish aged girl who really just wanted to go home and listen to Katy Perry or something. HOWEVER everything was forgiven when one chicago-style stuffed pizza came out of the oven after 29 minutes at 375 degrees and was PERFECT. So, even a Chumlee look-alike moron can make excellent pizza and all was forgiven.

Rick Reilly has another heart-melting article on espn.com that's worth looking at. Reilly never rips your heart completely out, but he does hit it with a bat a bunch of times like Bear Jew in Inglorious Basterds. How I Met Your Mother hits its stride in season 2 and excells in season 3 that I just started. Start watching this show, it is fantastic.

At some point this week I will be watching some movies to rate and view like I'm supposed to for the rest of you. I realize that my opinion is to be interpreted as gospel truth and I take that responsibility very seriously.

NBC- Not a Bit Cool

NBC is sending Conan out the door to pick-up Jay Leno's 12 pound chin again... AWESOME. Conan just moved his entire staff and family out to LA to make a run at the biggest spot in late night for what used to be the biggest network in late night, but that was all shot to shit. 16 years Conan has raised NBC late-night and made it popular with the younger crowd, but now that's all destroyed. I hope Conan feels like hoping on elsewhere, a place where he'll suffer less censorship and allow more Pimpbots and shenanigans. Conan has a home in late night, I know this for a fact. I hope Comedy Central picks him up and puts him on after Colbert Report and the Daily Show. That would be fitting for a comedic genius who hasn't fit in completely with the watered-down, WEAK, old-timey late night that the real networks offer.

Colt McCoy, WTF?

If you are Colt McCoy, what would it take to keep you out of the National Championship game? I'd say gunshot wound, broken bone of some sort to my leg or throwing arm, shoulder dislocation that wouldn't pop back in, torn Achilles tendon, and that's the short list. A separated shoulder I'm sure is serious and painful, but I would've been shot up with swine flu to have played in that game. Swine flu soaked in chlamydia. That game was supposed to be his culmination as college footballs winningest quarterback. The pinnacle of one of the greatest careers ever. I am simply blown away by the fact he sat out of that game without trying to play again. I'd say just about anything that wasn't life threatening would warrant playing in the NATIONAL TITLE GAME. Without McCoy Texas was as useless as a shit-flavored popsicle to quote a great film. I really don't understand why his dad came to the locker room or that there was any discussion besides if his arm was still attached, which IT WAS. Colt McCoy is a tough kid I always thought, but I just can't condone him not playing in that game.

Question: Is Colt McCoy being unable to throw the ball worse than UNTESTED Freshman Garrett Gilbert.
The mere threat of McCoy throwing the ball was enough to get more respect than Gilbert. The poor kid was shaken out there like a James Bond martini. That shovel pass was in part his fault, but most running backs don't try to bump and set a pass like volleyball, they try to catch it. There was nothing that Mack Brown, or anyone short of Jesus Christ could have done to have won Texas the game once McCoy was out. I made the joke that Shipley should've been put in the Wildcat and they should've rolled the dice with that one.

Colt McCoy- Your draft status was shaken more by this move than it would've been if you tried to throw with a fucked up arm and failed. I thought Phillip Rivers playing with a torn ACL hurt his team because he had Billy Volek in reserve, perfectly healthy. Volek healthy WAS BETTER than Rivers being unable to move or throw. McCoy with one leg was better than Gilbert fully healthy. I would've taken any painkiller possible to destroy my liver and allow me to feel nothing while I threw with an arm as messed up as Lindsey Lohan.

Hall of fame voting

Voting for the Hall of Fame and All-Star games in sport is utter ridiculousness.

Hall of Fame- The NBA

Individuals who receive at least five votes from a seven-member screening committee in a given year advance to an Honors Committee, composed of 12 members who vote on each candidate and rotating groups of 12 specialists (one group for female candidates, one group for international candidates, and one group for American and veterans candidates); any individual receiving at least 18 affirmative votes (75 percent of all votes cast) from the Honors Committee is approved for induction into the Hall of Fame. Advancement to the Honors Committee is generally pro forma, although the Hall's Board of Trustees may remove any candidate who "has damaged the integrity of the game of basketball" from consideration.^[2]

To be considered for induction by a screening committee, a player must be fully retired from play for at least five years, while a coach or referee must be fully retired for at least five years or have been active full time in his/her respective craft on the professional, collegiate, of high school level for at least 25 years. No years of service criterion is applied to those who have made a "significant contribution to the game of basketball". Sportswriters and commentators are elected as full-fledged members. I STOLE THIS FROM WIKIPEDIA

Anyone can make the basketball Hall of Fame, but great players don't make it while high school basketball coaches do? I get it, it's for basketball and not the NBA, but can you make this thing any more watered-down? There's a special committee for foreign players, so Drazen Petrovic, who died tragically in a car crash, has a special place in this thing. There are 141 players in this thing and I don't even care to get into it, let's just say it's not too impressive an honor.

BASEBALL- You need 75% vote from a bunch of douche bag sportswriters who take this as their big opportunity to feel important and act like they mean something to the game of baseball, which they undoubtedly DO NOT. 539 of those fuck-clowns get votes. They have fucked their right up so brutally that they didn't get Tony Gwynn or Cal Ripken Jr. in on the first ballot. These fucking ass clowns can't even put in two of the top 10 players of the 90's and great human beings on the first ballot. McGwuire gets held out because he probably used steroids, just like Pete Rose has been forever frozen out due to the fact he gambled. How do people still think baseball is some kind of holy shrine to this world? It's seen an unreal amount of fuck-up's and assholes who are not to be looked up to by ANYONE. The strike, spitballs, doctoring baseballs, throwing at batter's heads, the Black Sox scandal, steroids, racism, it's a LONG LIST. Baseball writer's every year get on their high horses and act holier than thou as they hold the key to get in and only give it out to maybe 2 people per year. It's a complete tragedy that player's need a political campaign run to get themselves into the Hall of Fame and it's sickening that the voters are not held accountable at all. You never find out who they vote for and they never have to explain themselves. Why shouldn't Pete Rose be in the Hall of Fame? HE GAMBLED ON BASEBALL, WOW. If that doesn't happen thousands of times per year then I'm not a human being. This is the pinnacle of an Old Boys club that is just complete bullshit. Something needs to change because this complete clusterfuck is just frustrating and dumb.

We now move to All-Star games where fans vote Shaq and Iverson (who I love but can no longer defend) to starting roles despite the fact that they really shouldn't be starting on their respective TEAMS EVEN. Fan voting is a joke and can't possibly be used anymore in full to determine starting lineups, especially considering the elephant in the room of baseball using the All-Star game to determine HOME FIELD ADVANTAGE IN THE WORLD SERIES!?!?!??! Who was smoking enough crack to kill Bobby and Whitney at the same time to think that idea up? It's understandable that you want athletes to take it seriously, but I'm sick of the NL getting beaten the fuck up and having to play away not because of regular season record that 162 games are used to decide, but by one game that they have VERY little control over. SO FUCKING STUPID.

Hook 'EM for NATIONAL CHAMPS if you've made it this long.

Gilbert Arenas ----------> BUS

I really should've let this one out early, but how fucking dumb do you have to be to pull a gun that you keep IN YOUR LOCKER on your TEAMMATE???????????????????????????????

Arenas kept a gun in his locker because keeping his guns at home seemed like a bad idea because he has a child now. If you don't own a gun for protection, and you aren't much for target shooting, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU OWN A GUN?!?!?!?!?!?!
Having a kid should probably enhance your feeling of need for protection. I am certainly for keeping guns as far the fuck away from kids as possible, but keeping them in your locker to get them out of the house sounds like doing heroin so you stop drinking.

My first careless words after I found out what happened was, "Good-bye Jarvaris Crittenton. He's going to get traded because Arenas still for some reason harbors some franchise player skill, though very minor. That's the first thing I thought of was how Crittenton (I have no idea how to spell his name and don't care enough to look it up) is going to be traded and how he's going to have trouble fitting in, you'd hope at least, knowing he decided to have a mexican standoff in his former team's locker room.

I also love how the NBA is suspending Arenas for this. I still can't believe this story broke because unspoken guy code since you're in middle school is you don't talk about locker room stuff with other people. How do you think Tiger got to run with a legion of skanks the last 6 years all while maintaining the popular concept that he isn't a giant piece of shit? The Wizards need to check themselves because they have a surprising amount of talent that has Jamison, Butler, and Arenas spearheading solid role players in Mike Miller, Brendan Haywood, Fabrice Oberto, and a couple of my favorite really short fellers in Randy Foye (6-4 my ass), and Earl Boykins the mighty mite. Instead they are destined for complete and total failure and collapse much like the 2004 Pacers after Artest's punch-happy massacre in Detroit.

Gotta love the NBA, where random acts of stupidity and violence occur with the frequency of the old Bengals.

How I Met Your Mother, good stuff

I bought the first 3 seasons of How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM from here on out) for $14 a piece at Best Buy. The first seasons are OK, but the show has progressed QUITE a bit to get where it is now. The first season has been decent, as I have been playing the first season DVD for the last 2 hours. Neil Patrick Harris is the greatest character in the history of sitcom. The parody of being a gay womanizer adds to the comedy. I was watching Band of Brothers up to this point, and that shit is AWESOME. I will loan it out for a dollar a day to friends and family. I really want to know who writes NPH's character Barney's material. He's like Charlie Sheen's character on Two and 1/2 men, but funny and with less spousal abuse, coke, and whores. Highly recommend HIMYM, I just started watching this season and got into it enough to buy the first 3 seasons.

I currently finished reading Instant Replay, the Jerry Kramer first hand account of the Packers 1967 season, including THE ICE BOWL, and winning Super Bowl II. Pretty awesome stuff hearing from Kramer about Lombardi and the other famous Packer greats. It's written in diary form and if you are a Packer fan, especially old enough to actually remember the stuff, it will be AWESOME for you. It's a little tough to follow sometimes not knowing some of the players by first name, though there's a complete chart at the beginning of the book that I was simply too lazy to keep referring to, but by the end of the book I pretty much knew what was going on. Greatest gift idea in the world for anyone living in WI and has parents over 50 years old.

Weak post again, just didn't really have much to go on.