Ride with the Devil

SO, I decided to take a flier out on Ride with the Devil, an Ang Lee picture, which should have been my first indication that it would suck cock. Check out his filmography on imdb.com if you doubt this one. The cast is just ridiculous however sporting Mark Ruffalo (super small role), Skeet Ulrich (Dude has to be on drugs or something to have such ups and downs), Tom Wilkenson, Jewell, Tobey Maguire, Jim "Jesus" Caviezel, Johnny Rhys Meyers, Simon Baker, Jeffrey Wright (black CIA dude in Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace). Movie should be super interesting about an insane time/place in US history. Border "states" because some technically weren't states, just territories during the civil war were neither Union, nor Confederate. There was a large gray area where gangs rode wild, most famously Quantrill's raiders, who pretty much killed, burned, generally just fucked shit up. How could this film be boring? Let me divulge.

They throw in some random-ass useless love story between Skeet Ulrich and Jewell. Could be about the gangs going around killing and pillaging everything, BUT NOOOOOOO. Had a few decent action scenes, but at weighing in at 2.15 hours, it was WAYYYY too few to make a human male happy. Throw in accents that aren't too enjoyable and you have trouble. I'm guessing this was one of Tobey's big breaks before Spider-Man, but it is far from decent. Great ensemble cast, long and boring story void of action in most parts.

Bottom line: 5.4 out of 10. It is watchable, I just don't know why you would.

French Open thoughts

The French Open gets a bad rap because Americans can't play on "dirt". It's actually the best tennis you will likely see all year. The French Open you can actually see points constructed and hard work, not a serve and sitter like at Wimbledon. You get rallies and defense, not a serve and a missed return.

The technology of rackets has forced tennis into an immense transformation into a game strictly played behind the baseline and this guy isn't a big fan of it. I do like the French Open based on the fact it is the best surface for watching points being constructed and earned, but it does not feature net play at all in reality. Teaching high school tennis taught me how the net is completely misunderstood and under-utilized in the game of tennis. It has consistently amazed me how some players in the pro ranks looked lost while at the net. The first player that popularized the net being your enemy was one of my favorites sadly, Andre Agassi. Sure Agassi could volley, but my God did he make it seem uncomfortable. The simple reality is that be reducing your distance between your opponent and yourself you create angles at the net not possible from the baseline and cut down on your opponents time to react to such shots. Following an aggressive and deep baseline shot where you are inside the baseline stepping into the ball just follow your logical momentum to the net and put away the following volley that will almost certainly have very little on it. I can't figure out how players are SO content just to sit and wait for the subsequent weak, floating shot following an aggressive ground-stroke pulling your opponent out of position.

I suffered through Taylor Dent, the last real serve and volley player alive basically, hit slice backhands from the baseline and get destroyed like Poland in WWII by Robin Soderling instead of chipping and charging, or utilizing his only strength over Soderling, net play. FUCK, why does technology have to force tennis into a baseliners paradise?

24 goes out like a lamb

So, I never was a monster 24 fan but caught the first season and the 7th & 8th and I will admit Keifer Sutherland as Jack Bauer is as good as it gets on TV. The man is an utter menace. He puts dicks in the dirt, tortures, does whatever he wants, and generally doesn't give a fuck about anything besides his objective. It was pretty painful to see them not let him continue to be the greatest renegade badass in history on his send-off. I guess I can't ruin it, but for the last episode for TV (movies are sure to follow) they really candy assed it up. I really can't even recommend watching it because it lacked Jack Bauer doing WORK.

NHL I have started watching again and the Blackhawks just look destined. They absolutely beat-up on an ultra-talented #1 seeded San Jose Sharks team that failed to take a game from them. The Hawks do have one curse, Marian Hossa. He left the Wings, they won the Cup, he left the Penguins and they beat the Wings in the Stanley Cup while he was playing for the Red ones. I can't imagine the Flyers, who have been completely on fire, will put up a real fight.
No curses in Chicago on the ice, Hawks in 5. Yeah, they'll lose a game somewhere.

Celtics have silenced the explosive Magic and slowed them to a crawl. Orlando was awfully lucky to limp away with a victory last night. The old men of Boston have paced themselves to perfection and like a track athlete are peaking at the right time due to tapering. Everyone took it easy, got healthy, and have relied on Rondo's quickness to create for everyone else. I see a victory for Bahston over the Lakers or Suns. We saw what happens to the Lakers vs. the Celtics from two years ago. Insert Ron Artest, I don't see much of a difference. Gasol gets beat-up down low, Bynum looks inept vs. Garnett and they can't put Gasol on Garnett all game because he's too soft/ could get in foul trouble. Rondo cannot be defended by anyone on LA, so that'll be the real factor. Derek Fisher doesn't have a prayer and I don't see Jordan Farmer, Shannon Brown, or anyone else staying in front of Rondo. The Suns vs. Celtics would be more entertaining, but the Suns don't have the D or toughness to hang with a quality Celtics team that simply wouldn't allow fast break/ cheap baskets. Unless Stoudamire can outplay Garnett soundly for an entire series, which I refuse to be possible, the Celtics have that one in the bag as well.

Regahdless- Bahston in 6. SAWX are playin' like Fahwks. (Sox are playing like Fucks= translation)

RIP Mr. RJD

Ronnie James Dio died of stomach cancer earlier this week and heavy metal/ hard rock lost an icon. A man responsible for patenting the "devil horns" after his his mother, or grandmother, flashed them at him as a sign of something evil. Dio had an amazing voice that he shared with us and I am sad to say I really didn't know of him until a few years ago. Anyone in question of his greatness will be rebuked by his recent appearance in "The Pick of Destiny: and his great showing in "Holy Diver".

Watch this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64coD-rx9sk and just remember that it happened in the 70's, where it was SUPER badass. I love the song Holy Diver, Rainbow in the Dark, and Last in Line. I will be purchasing Dio's greatest hits in the near future and reveling in Ronnie James Dio's golden voice with heavy guitar riffs in the background.

Dio was an actually ambassador to heavy metal showing people, like Dee Snider before the reality show, that not all metal people are crazed, maniacal nimrods. Killswitch Engage does a cover of Holy Diver that I only hope made people want to listen to the real version where RJD knocks it out of the park. Prayers and sympathy to his family.

Women's softball on ESPN?

I really need someone to explain to me why ESPN feels it necessary to play woman's softball on real ESPN? Can't there be ESPNW for woman's sports so the people that care to watch them can? I really don't think there are many people, especially men who make up the primary audience for ESPN, care to watch woman's college softball. I'm not discrediting the sport, as I know first-hand how hard it is to hit a softball from a mound WAY closer than a standard baseball mound. I just can't understand how real ESPN plays softball at 7pm on a Saturday while there are 8 baseball games to choose from that are much better options.

I do watch gymnastic and tennis on the woman's side of sports. I can't be dishonest about it, it's just much more enjoyable to me to watch male sports. The WNBA is an endless money pit that gets fed only because it would look bad if it were allowed to fail on its own, as it should be allowed to. It was three years ago that marked the loss of 1 billion dollars the WNBA had achieved. Someone explain to me why the WNBA is still around? You can't let something that loses money at such an alarming rate exist. Not many businesses are allowed to stick around failing at such a preposterous level. Why is ESPN still trying to cram this crap down our throats? I didn't care when it first "burst" onto the scene and I certainly don't care to watch it now. For all the Title IX huzzah to allow women a fair shot in high school & college sports, how can you extend that into a profession? Why is the WNBA allowed to drain from the real NBA like? Somebody let this thing drawn in its own pool of failure.

Iron Man 2

Just finished watching Iron Man II and I thought it was a decent film. It advance the Iron Man story a little bit by introducing Sam Jackson as Nick Fury and Scarlett Jo-Reynolds (Made that up) as some hot chick. I'm a big fan of the idea of The Avengers being a film franchise. Nothing like throwing a bunch of super heroes together to do work.
Business time: Mickey Rourke is excellent as a creepy, insane, genius Rusky mad scientist. Robert Downey Jr. (RDJ) does a great job. Gwyneth Paltrow does a great job of being a stuck-up bitch, which should be no surprise to anyone. ScarJo does a solid job of being pretty and looking good in various outfits. Don Cheadle is an upgrade over Terrence Howard and hopefully he continues his role. Story was solid, but of course there are some large stretches that you are better off just accepting rather than questioning or else you'll just get angry.
The trailers included Inception, which On Rye and Zach already mentioned as the highlight of the film. That is going to be the movie of the Summer. I just trust Christopher Nolan and that cast, it's just that simple.

Bottom Line: 8.2 out of 10. A little on the high side, but the first "summer blockbuster" and definitely worth seeing. SEE THE FIRST IRON MAN BEFORE HAND. I don't understand how many people haven't seen Iron Man that I know. It was the rebirth of RDJ and well worth it.

Side note: LeBron James I doubt will leave Cleveland based on the fact his family/ childhood friends are so close and that's all he's ever known. I think on a different team his chance for a title may increase, but I don't think the Cavs are that far off. The real problem is that with LeBron they will never get a decent draft pick unless he gets hurt like Jordan did, plummeting his team into despair and failure, thus ensuring a lottery pick. Shaq will come off the books, Big Z comes off, they can possibly trade some players like Delonte West + Daniel Gibson in an attempt to get a player that can just flat shoot the rock. I still don't know how much better MJ's original supporting cast was over LeBron's, but my cousin made a great point in saying that what would LeBron give for a John Paxson. Surround LeBron with shooters to keep the lane clear and giving him someone to kick the ball out to and he will become unstoppable. I have no idea why someone hasn't brought up the idea of giving King James a fast, young team to run and gun with. Surrounding him with Ben Wallace, Shaq, Big Z, and anyone who is an old school post player is an awful idea.

Reservation Road

I had a Movie Gallery go out of business in the hometown, and bargain bin DVD's are my crack cocaine. I picked up Gosford Park, Reservation Road, Anvil: The Story of Anvil, The Foot Fist Way, Die Hard 2 & 3 for $14. YUP. I watched Reservation Road with Mark "Super underrated" Ruffalo, Joaquin Phoenix, Jennifer Connelly, and Dakota Fanning's sister. Very well acted throughout with Ruffalo and Phoenix carrying it. The story follows both leads after Ruffalo hit and kills Phoenix's son with his SUV on the way back from a Red Sox game with his own son, who he is attempting to reconnect with after a divorce where he lost custody. I was a big fan of how the stories were inter-twinned, but not in a lame or overbearing way. I recommend watching it if you live independent movies that's strong on stories and acting and low on budgets and bullshit.

Watching Zoolander and it makes me sad that Zoolander and Anchorman have apparently both been declined for sequels. The thought of spending $70 million on the Anchorman sequel is too much, which I can't figure out for the life of me. How can that film fail? Remaking Nightmare on Elm Street= Green Light. Sequel to great comedy that comedic geniuses are willing to work on for 1/8 their regular rate= FAIL. No wonder these film companies are failing and losing money out of their asses.

Green Zone, and not Snoop's shed.

Saw Green Zone with MAAAATTT DAAAAMOOON and it was a pretty solid film. It's one of the few times I'd like to see more plot development and less run around crazy with hand-held camera action. It's a story where Matt Damon is a Cheif in the Army set on finding and eliminating the WMD's at the start of the Iraq war. Damon is bothered by the fact his unit if 0 for 3 on finding WMD's at sites where they are supposed to be. He goes on a one-man quest to expose corruption and resolve the Iraq war all by himself. It's a very solid film, and as always Matt Damon brings the wood. That man knows how to act and it's just that simple.

Can somebody explain to me the allure of the Kentucky Derby? I can't figure out why anybody would be excited to watch 20 horses run for 5 minutes. I guess the mint juleps are what it's all about.