Django Unchained, the D is Silent, but Deadly

I took some time out to see Django Unchained tonight and it's quite unique. It follows the path of Django, a freed slave played by Jamie Foxx, and a dentist/ bounty hunter played by the awesome Christopher Waltz, quite the find by Tarantino. They travel the land as a bounty hunting pair who gets to know each other and eventually agree to pair up to free Foxx's wife from Leonardo Di Caprio. It has about 10 slow scenario shots set to music, buckets of senseless blood and foul language, and an awesome, charismatic anti-hero. You could watch it without sound and know it's a Tarantino movie, but I like Tarantino movies. It's shockingly long at just under 2 hours & 45 minutes, but it moves along at a decent pace, except the weird music accompaniment shots. IT's a good story that is pretty shocking with it's violence and language. I don't know if Tarantino did most of it for shock value, or if this is truly how he imagined the 1858 deep south. Kudos all around, but especially Samuel L. Jackson and Waltz. Everyone is good, but those two especially excel in unique roles. Bottom Line: 7.4 out of 10. It's interesting, entertaining, and has a great cast, but if you don't like Tarantino movies, don't see this one. If you do, head out and be entertained.

Dark City: Very underrated/ relatively unknown.

Here's one that slid under the radar for me. Griffin Wagner, my old really good friend who passed away much too soon, had me watch this movie back in what I want to say like 1998. I remembered that I liked it, but really couldn't remember much else. It's a very interesting story that I'm going to have trouble talking about without giving away possible spoilers. It starts with a man in a bathtub by himself, there's a light swinging and some clothes on a chair. He awakens, puts on the clothes, and finds a dead women (hooker) with spirals carved all over herself in the other room. The character has no memory and has to piece together his life. Rufus Sewell is the main character and does a great job. Keifer Sutherland plays an insanely creepy doctor, Jennifer Connolly is Sewell's wife, William Hurt is a Detective, and you'll recognize some of the other actors as well. The confused man slowly uncovers strange facts about the city and people who are supposed to be his family and friends. I really wish I could talk more about it, but I feel like it would give spoilers. Bottom Line: 8.5 out of 10. I really enjoyed this film. It's visually beautiful, great cast, and really is an interesting/unique sci-fi story.

The Hobbit: Short People Unite

The Hobbit: An Incredible Journey is pretty standard Part: I epic stuff. You get to meet a lot of characters who you remember by face, but not name. There's a lot of back story and some character development that must happen to get things moving and give the book some just due. The story is all pre-Lord of the Rings Trilogy stuff. Bilbo Baggins is approached by Gandolf the Grey and a boatload of dwarves to go on a journey to reclaim the dwarves home/majestic castle that was taken over by a dragon named Smog who straight up WHOOPED their assess. They start in the Shire and have to head A LONG way of course across many treacherous impasses, etc. It's pretty slow going, there is some action sprinkled in, but not much. It gets you prepped properly for the next two, and holds it's own. It's the best looking 3-D I've ever seen. It's amazingly crisp and clear. You really feel like you aren't watching 3-D. It's IMAX clear/crisp. Bottom line: 7.4 out of 10. Visually stunning. Very similar to the other LOTR films. It's well done, I'm a huge fan of Thorin (Dwarf King without a Kingdom) played by Richard Armitage, who I'm really not familiar with, but he's excellent in my opinion.

Taken 2: Same Shit, Different Country

I wanted to see Taken 2 because the first one was incredibly well done, and Liam Neeson is the fucking man. This movie reunites Neeson with Kim "Kimmy" played by Maggie Grace, & Lenore "Lenny" played by Famke Janssen. This one if WAYYY more rushed, and is only about 90 minutes long. Neeson is in Istanbul on some private security detail, his family "surprises" him with a visit since Janssen's marriage (2nd marriage) is in total shambles, so she has some spare time. Neeson and Janssen are attacked in the Bazaar by the father of one of the many Marco from Trepoje who were killed in the first Taken. He has a bunch of Eastern European looking guys who attack Neeson and get beat the fuck up, but eventually kidnap Janssen and Neeson. Kim is by the pool and unscathed, and after a phone call from Neeson's Bond gadget phone, she's OK to aid in their escape. You know what's coming, and this one has less character development and less of everything good about the first one. It's ridiculous at times, which is to be expected, but it's just stupid to watch Kim, who can't pass her driver's test, whipping around Turkey like Jason Bourne. Neeson is also noticeably slower in the fight/running scenes in this one. Bottom Line: 6.2 out of 10. Don't pay money to see this, but if you like watching Neeson smack around and shoot Eastern Europeans, I'd make time for it when it's on TV soon enough.

Lincoln: The BiWOWgraphy

Preface: I'm a huge history, Daniel Day-Lewis, and Steven Spielberg fan. This film attempts to let you in on the part of history when the 13th Amendment passed. It abolished slavery and ended forced servitude in America and her holding. The story focuses heavily on Abraham Lincoln, as well it should. DDL does just an amazing job with an incredibly complex character. The cast is star studded besides DDL featuring: Sally Field, David Strathairn (Bourne Ultimatum Guy), Joseph Gordon-Levitt, James Spader, Tommy Lee Jones, John Hawkes, and Jackie Earle Haley. Some of the actors seem tragically underused, but the story if paramount here. How does a President pass an Amendment that isn't necessarily popular? 2/3 of the vote of the House of Congress is no joke and this shows the shady dealings of how this happens even in 1865. The Civil War is shown as it comes to an inevitable end after the South is attacked from the sea and land as Richmond is within striking distance. Lincoln needs to seal the deal to ensure slavery isn't re-enacted once the South is re-instated. Tommy Lee Jones is the strongest voice of pro-abolitionist sentiment and is an angry, old, silver tongued genius. They sprinkle in Lincoln's troubled marriage and family life due to the enormous toll and time the war, etc. takes on Old Abe. It really brings the time together and makes you feel a part of January of 1865. Superb acting, a very interesting and excellent story, and the standard amazing directing of Spielberg bring home a great film. Bottom Line: 9.1 out of 10. Just a superb film throughout showing us a amazing part of our proud history. Fans of history, great acting, and either Spielberg or Daniel Day-Lewis should run out and see this ASAP.

The Lakers Coaching Carousel of Hell

I wish I got to this earlier, but I wasn't surprised Mike Brown was shit-canned, just in the confusing manner in which it all went down. Brown's team ran a stupid offense considering your pieces are strong enough to not need a special system, especially one that renders spectacular play-maker and facilitator Steve Nash useless. That team can't lose games this early as badly as they did. They have a two year window to make championships return to L.A. and that's it. Knowing they took off the kid gloves and sent Brown packing (Sidenote: This should have happened to Spolestra 4 years ago) you'd think they would do all things possible to make a championship as likely as possible... So they sign injured Mike D'Antoni instead of Phil Jackson? I found it especially strange THE LAKERS seemed confused that they fired Brown and had no contingency plan in place. It makes NO sense to START your coaching hunt only AFTER firing your current coach? The mad scramble that ensued left only two real choices who didn't have anything else going on, Jackson & D'Antoni. The rumor about interviewing Mike Dunleavy was insulting to all parties involved. Jackson was the obvious choice the minute he said he'd be in to coach. Whatever you have to throw him for compensation you do. You're all-in with this team, so bringing in D'Antoni made no sense. I'm not destroying Mike D'Antoni. I liked his teams and his style, but he's not Phil Jackson, NOBODY is Phil Jackson. Nobody has coached in the modern era like Phil Jackson. Whatever he wanted, he should have gotten. If it was to sucker punch Kobe everytime he made some dipshit face at a teammate or in anger, that should have been written in. ANYTHING to bring Phil Jackson in. Now poor Mike D has to constantly watch his back and sweat for an entire season that will be a failure if they don't bring the trophy back to L.A. I'm surprised he was OK with it knowing how awful this is going to be on him. May God have mercy on his soul for the press will not.

Skyfall

Our 23rd Bond film (I think) re-unites Daniel Craig with Judi Dench and bring in Ralph Fiennes, Javier Bardem, and a few other newcomers to the party. Craig is an aging, but still badass and effective Bond who is getting to the point where his field work/age is being questioned, just like Dench's M character. The plot is an unknown man with unknown associates steal the hard drive containing Britain's secret agents undercover in various terrorist organizations. Bardem is away for too long in this film, but dominates his time on screen. Craig and Dench are excellent, pretty standard though. This film delves into Bond's childhood more than any previous Bond I've seen. It's much darker and almost void of the cheeky Bond humor except a few playful exchanges to Naomie Harris' Eve character and Q. It's similar to the other Craig Bond films, strong in action and intensity. I was a big fan. It's hard to talk about it very much without dropping mad spoilers, so I'm done. Bottom Line: 8.3 out of 10. High marks, but Bardem is sensational and the rest of the cast keeps up. Really unique story, good song by Adele, beautiful random women, it's a strong showing.

Basketball Boner

I got super excited about basketball this season. I jumped into two fantasy basketball leagues, and am actively watching the Wizards play the Cavaliers. I get a full week of NBA League Pass and fully plan to take advantage of it to the fullest. It also makes me pissed off about the absence of hockey this season. Things are clearly fucked when Donald Fehr and Gary Bettman square off and shit all over hockey. Players got a bum deal after the strike last time, which shouldn't surprise anyone. They want some power back, some salary restrictions loosened, which seems to make sense. Bettman made his only push when he put a 50/50 revenue split in place that I expected would get things done, but it didn't. Now talks have stalled and two hard-headed fucks are leading the movement. This should be a great time in sports where football is still around, the NBA & the NHL get started and NASCAR is in the "Sprint", which I couldn't care less about, but a lot of people do. Playoff hockey, and people who have never watched it should keep their fucking mouths shut, is amazing. The quality of play elevates perhaps even more than in the NBA, which I know seems almost impossible to believe. The NHL really bridged the gap in hatred this last season, pushed new faces and more games for the casual fan, and is currently figure out ways to get more shit on all these good feelings. I'm amazed the NHLPA hired Donald Fehr to head negotiations for the players Union (NHLPA). It's also alarming how quickly star players have run across the pond to get paychecks the only way they know how. It's fucking ridiculous to think they can have another strike, but it's clearly looking like that's how the chips are falling on this one and I fucking hate everyone involved. Back to basketball... Before the Harden trade I was REALLY looking forward to this season because the West should've been a war-zone that's a little softer at the top now. You have the re-tooled Lakers who pulled another coup in getting Steve Nash & Dwight Howard to make a few more runs with Kobe (Rapist Fuckface) Bryant. There's not way of knowing how that's going to shake out, but Nash can make a bunch of 6 year-olds look like they run a great offense, so I'm thinking that part is set and with Howard and Gasol on the interior things are looking up on defense as well. OKC was the solid favorite with Harden, but now they are trying to patch his spot up with Kevin Martin, who isn't the same player, especially on defense as Harden. That team is still very impressive, but now how far they go is based solely upon the growth of Durant, Ibaka, and Westbrook because they've gotten weaker than last year now. I doubt Jeremy Lamb is going to be contributing anything and they shipped sharpshooter Daquan Cook, though seldom used, served A purpose on that team. The Nuggets added Igoudala, who is supremely underrated, but they are still just a bunch of REALLY good players sans a true Superstar. I don't think anyone else can compete, but I wouldn't like to play the Clippers, Spurs or Grizzlies in a playoff series. By the way I'm not saying the Nuggets are better than the other teams I listed, I'm just interested in a healthy team that's legitimately 10 deep, I hope George Karl presses all fucking game. The East is really the Heat and the JV squads. I really doubt the Celtics can make a run at them, or anyone else for that matter. Maybe the Pacers can push again? Seriously, if Danny Granger shows up on offense that series could've been REALLY interesting for the Heat. I like the new Nets, maybe the Hawks can make some waves by finding a balanced offense like the circa 1977 Blazers with Walton? Horford can play and certainly pass for a big, Josh Smith is insanely talented (but lost), Korver can shoot (that's it) Jeff Teague, Devin Harris, and Lou Williams provide scoring and defensive question marks, but you never know. The Bulls are an outside shot as well depending on how Rose heals up. Needless to say I'm going to be watching this shit. NBA TV generally has a game a night on at least, TNT & ESPN provide another per night, & OL' FSN will have the Bucks on for our entertainment/ horror. Prediction: OKC vs. Heat, Heat in 5. I'm feeling the Lakers show their age and fall off, plus Westbrook and Durant will again prove simply unstoppable for the defensively poor Lakers. The Heat won't be challenged, making the road much easier than the Thunder. Bold Predictions: Nets win a playoff series, Bucks MAKE the playoffs after trading Monte Ellis, someone besides the Lakers will push OKC to seven, The Heat will never have to play more than 5 games in a series. I will place in fantasy B-ball. Chauncey Billups will be named Player/coach of the Clippers at some point. No playoffs for the Chicago Bulls (that's just knee-jerk and dumb, but whatever) Awards: ROY will be Damian Lillard, not El Unibrow. MVP- Lebron (not bold, but I'm not dumb), Sixth Man- Lou Williams (not a clue on this one) NBA Defensive POY- Serge Ibaka, basically a walk-over if he's healthy.

Annie Hall

I decided to watch Annie Hall, which I think is my first Woody Allen film. I really don't enjoy his nervous jittery acting and humor. I'm kind of surprised this thing tracks at %98 on Rotten Tomatoes. It's not really that funny or much else. Diane Keaton does a pretty good job, Woody Allen is himself, but I suppose the writing is pretty decent. I don't know if it's outdated, or if I just can't get behind Woody Allen at all. Maybe the romantic comedy bone I don't have is an issue, but I just wasn't impressed on really any level. It won a slew of awards, I just don't understand how other than the fact that it came out in 1977 and it was unique and groundbreaking at the time. Getting to the actually film it is Allen's struggle with his relationship with Keaton's character. Bottom Line: 6.6 out of 10. Lacks humor and punch for my liking, but maybe it's because of a general disdain for romantic comedies, so this probably isn't accurate, so there's the disclaimer. I wasn't a fan of anything, but found Keaton's acting to be strong, but that's about all I can say I was impressed by. Random Fact: This was my 300th post, and that just seems crazy to me.

The Descendants

Now that eight movies get nominated for Best Picture every year, it's perhaps lost it's luster, but I still felt like it meant something. I'm a George Clooney fan and figured it was on HBO, so why the hell not? This was a 1.75 hour long stomach punch, only the pain was slow release. It was simply unimpressive for the most part. They have the beautiful backdrop of Hawaii to rely on, but that's about the only part that I enjoyed. There's a great cast of people you'll recognize, but I found it unspectacular. Matt Lillard, Clooney, and Shailene Woodley (the real star of this) carry it, but only so far. The story is Clooney's wife gets in a boating accident that causes her to be in a coma. Clooney is forced to face the reality that he isn't very close to his daughter's and knows very little about their lives, or his wife's. He attempts to carry everyone through the tragedy as it a lot of things unfold all around him. It really missed me on all levels, but apparently other people like it. Bottom Line: 6.6 out of 10. Saved by a good cast, I really felt no connection to the story.

In Bruges

I heard a lot of good things about In Bruges, but never really actively pursued it until it was on one of the movie channels. It's the very unique story of two hitmen who have been sent away to Bruges, Belgium to hide-out after committing a murder. The story slowly releases itself as a few more characters are released, but it's a very small, good cast. Headlined by Colin Farrell in a role he's very good at, playboy hitman smart-ass. The best performance is from Brendan Gleeson and it's not even close. Forever endeared to me by being Hamish in Braveheart, he excels as the gay, sensitive hitman enjoying his mini-vacation in Bruges. Ralph Fiennes rounds out the cast as the boss of the hitmen and a few other minor characters arise, but I digress. The two hitmen (Farrell & Gleeson) have two extremely different views of Bruges. Farrell detests it, likening it to purgatory, where Gleeson enjoys the majestic archetecture and rich history. They sight-see, tour a little, Farrell meets a local girl he likes because she's hot and it's like they are the odd couple and hilarity ensues. I don't want to reveal anymore of the plot, but it gets dark and serious in a hurry. Excellent, unique story and a great cast are plenty to carry this. Amazing cinematography using the natural and historical beauty of Bruges tops it all off nicely. Bottom Line: 8.2 out of 10. Well done all the way around and I'd recommend spending a couple bucks and renting this one. It's a quick 1.5 hours and certainly worth watching to a movie fan.

Looper

I was really happy to see Looper this weekend because originality is severely lacking in Hollywod these days. The premise is that around 2070 time travel is invented, but illegal and very limited. Powerful crime syndicates use time travel to send criminals and whoever else back to 2038 to be killed by "Loopers". They know the time & place, they shoot the person and dispose of them. In the future you can't dispose of bodies. In any case the looper gets paid and goes about their business until they shoot themselves and "close the loop", then they have 30 years to live a priviliged life of wealth and happiness. Joseph Gordon-Levitt has his future self come back, Bruce Willis, to try to change the future by assassinating a mysterious "Rainmaker" while he's a child, it gets dark and ugly in a hurry. Willis has limited information to go on, but will save his wife if he finds and kills this kid, so he's focused. Excellent acting, a very good story, and violence normally makes for a good movie, this is no different. DO NOT WATCH THIS FILM IF THE THOUGHT OF DEAD CHILDREN IS CRIPPLING AND EXTREMELY BAD FOR YOU. It's awful, but a part of the story. Friendly head's up, but if you gut it out it's a very solid film. Bottom Line: 8.2 out of 10. It hits some slow parts, child murder is a horrific thing, but the strong story and cast make for an excellent overall film.

Parks and Recreation

Parks and Rec continues to get stronger. Great ensemble cast that's happy to stay together headlined by Nic Swardson and Amy Poehler. The show keeps expanding and keeps getting better. Ron Swanson is unquestionably one of the best television characters ever as the ultimate man's man. He likes meat wrapped in meat. I don't think I've slurped this show yet, but it's a must see. Aziz Ansari, Rashida Jones, and Rob Lowe round out the people you know, but the unknowns are great. They play hilarious roles to perfection and make simple ideas HILARIOUS. If you have not joined this revolution, I highly recommend it. I'd be amazed if you don't enjoy this show. Very reasonably priced at Target, or Netflix the shit out of it. Great comedy.

Selfish Feel Good Post

I recently had the pleasure/privilege to go to two weddings of a couple of my great high school friends. The marriages were AWESOME, but selfishly the best part for me was to reunite with the friends you grew up with. As we walk through life and get older, you hopefully meet new people, make some new friends, etc, but something has to be said for the people that have known you since before South Park started. There's SO much love and comfort to be found within that group for me it's just amazing. It doesn't matter how much money you make, what you do for a living, how long it's been since you've seen them last, you just feel at home. I hope other people have been so blessed to have great people that have been with them since Kindergarten, or whenever that simply love you for who you are. Whenever I hear people complain about small town gossip I try to remember the beauty of living in a small town where people CARE enough to know how things are going. I was so honered when one of the parents simply said "You guys were the best class ever". I truly believed in those words in the sense that we've all had each other's back, or however you want to say it, since forever, and still do to this day. The other part of that was how close our parent's all became through our sports and other involvements. No parent ever worried when you went to someone's house because they knew each other and knew the care you would be provided with. We resisted drinking, etc all throughout high school for the most part, just a rare feat in WI. We accomplished great things in sports, but made great strides as people too. This is just shamelessly trying to express the overwhelmingly warm and comforting feeling that was the last two Saturday's. It's so hard to put in words. It's just a beautiful thing.

Our Country Sucking

I don't care which side of the political fence you reside on, this has been a BRUTAL stretch for everyone. Negative doesn't begin to talk about how ugly things have gotten. On 9/11 I was reminded of a horrific event that actually brought us together as a nation. We got behind something, the United States of America. We all want more money in our pockets at the end of the day. We all want less national debt and to feel safe and secure at home. Why are the simplicities that bring us together naturally as human beings is completely overshadowed by how we are forced into one of two political parties that form a giant wedge between us. There are substantial things that differentiate people into Republicans and Democrats, but the utter failure to even attempt to work together on basic things is painful. Neither party is infaliable and their hatred for each other is awful and embarassing. I'd like to get united behind something and if tragedy no longer works, let's figure something else out. United we stand, divided we fall. Such a simple saying that keeps ringing true.

Salvador

Going based on the 1001 Moves You Must See Before You Die book, I watched Salvador and was VERY impressed. Oliver Stone directed, James Woods and Jim Belushi and the most notable stars, though you'll see some familiar faces throughout. Stone shows his contempt for our government's involvement in foreign affairs throughout, but he certainly has a point. The story of El Salvador is one I was not familiar with at all, but through this you see a run of the mill(sadly)puppet government we back and put in place because they hated communism. They terrorize their own people, commit acts of genocide, and run their country into the ground. Woods is just outstanding as the sleazy/skeezy and disgraced journalist Richard Boyle. He scratches and claws a gig to El Salvador to document yet another uprising. It shows the crazy life of the photojournalist during war. There's a handful of these war horses that all know each other and follow these bloody wars. It's a real strange fraturnity of insanity. Boyle boozes and slides by, until things get really ugly. It becomes an hour long punch in the stomach when the war torn country slides deeper into violent insurrection. It's just painful and horrific imaginery and events are throw at you, then moved away from so casually it's tragic. I really, for some reason, like the movie throughout. Bottom Line: 8.6 out of 10. Probably too high of a score, but I was very enthralled by this film. Woods is phenomenal and Stone's directing is fantastic. Really this movie should be seen if for no other reason than it's an interesting story people from my generation wouldn't know about as Reagan's support of various Central American dictators that created a decade-long kick in the bags for our global reputation.

Football Madness: Guilty

I'm playing in four fantasy leagues currently and co-chair (AKA I am the voice of wisdom and drafted the team) to one of my brother's teams. I'm amazed at how much "water cooler" conversation is purely football related. I've been asked a LOT about all kinds of players, my feelings and thoughts on a HUGE variety of things, all related to FANTASY football. Nobody asks me about who I think is going to win the AFC East, or anything related to real football, but what round to draft Jimmy Graham or Rob Gronkowski has been brought up a few times. Gambling on individual games has been replaced by trying to run your own team of skill players. Outsmarting your friends in a competitive environment is always fun, but I'm still astounded at the popularity of fantasy football. Work leagues, friend leagues, random people leagues, auction, points per reception, TD only, 10 people, 12 people, 14 people, CRAZINESS. Football naturally has dominated fantasy sports due to the fact it's one game/week per team. Baseball is too long and time consuming, basketball isn't popular enough and is also time consuming. NASCAR and golf are easy and WAYYY more popular than I expected.

Where do fantasy sports go from here? Do they keep becoming more specific and adding new folds into the mix, or will the juggernaut subside at all? I have no clue where this blog is going, so I can't possibly answer that question, but I am VERY interested in it. I normally donate my money to the fantasy monster, but I'm all too willing every year to jump in on a multitude of leagues. I've bought into fantasy everything, I'm just curious as to what's keeping everyone out? Could we play fantasy muciscians? Touring + album sales + MP 3 sales or some equation. Celebrity death pools? There's something for everyone, GET INTO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No idea where this one came from.

Bourne Legacy: It's not Damon-y

I saw the new Bourne movie last week and I didn't want to post about it until I saw it again because I honestly fell asleep during a part of the beginning, so I felt bad not knowing the full movie. Renner is another Bourne agent that, standard, the CIA tries to kill in Alaska (or somewhere shitty cold because I was asleep). They fail, he gets angry and needs his medication to keep going. The lab they manufacture the chemicals at is attacked by one of the chemists who kills everyone except Rachel Weisz. Renner gets to her house ASAP to recover her so he can get his chemicals and stay smart. That's the premise, he isn't trying to rectify wrongs, or get back his life, so it's not as good of a story right out the gates. Pam Landry is trying to get after the Treadstone/Brownbriar factions in court to get all the secrets out in the open. The bad men try to frame her as a traitor looking at things she doesn't understand above her pay grade. That doesn't go very far, Renner is very good in the action scenes and overall, but he's not Damon. It progresses the story, I do need to watch it again after checking out the Bourne Ultimatum to really get the feel for it.

Bottom line: 7.2 out of 10. It's still good and I feel like I would've enjoyed it more if I didn't miss parts, but it isn't as good as the other Bourne movies, that is apparent.

Expendables 2: MORE EXPENDABLER

You know what you're getting into when you walk into this movie. Old dudes, guns, action, shitty acting & cliches, and explosions. It delivers on all levels. It's pretty entertaining honestly. It's straight forward, fails at humor attempts and drama, but there's a shitload of shooting and SPLOSIONS. I pretty much called the plot out from moment 1, but it's still not disappointing. Again I think Stallone is in the movie WAYYY too much and the other "stars" get underused, Jet Li CRIMINALLY underused. Plot: Stallone (Barney Ross) still owes Bruce Willis (Church) from the first Expendables movie because despite destroying the entire army on the island, he failed Willis' mission. Stallone is to retrieve a box in Eastern Europe, bring it back to America, everyone is equal. Box retrieval turns into an unholy shitshow, craziness ensues, Jean Claude Van Damme= BAD GUY who must die & lose. It panders to a certain audience and I subscribe to being entertained by shameless and crazy violence, call me weird.

Bottom Line: 6.8 out of 10. I was entertained for an hour of this, and that's not too bad. A few cheap laughs hit, lots of sweet violencia. I don't know if you should pay money to see this unless you know you love shameless death and violence, but it's fun.

J. Edgar- J. Edgar SNOOZER more like it

Leo DiCaprio went in search of Oscar hardware doing a difficult biopic on J. Edgar Hoover. The J. stands for John by the way, shocker! Problem being the interesting parts of Hoover's life, spying, cross-dressing, having people killed, etc, are really not enhanced enough to make it interesting. What you end up with is 2.5 hours of an old guy talking like an old guy about his life in a boring way. There's so little interesting it's honestly offensive to think it was a major motion picture. I'd expect this shit from the History channel, minus Eastwide and Di Caprio, Naomi Watts I can see in a History Channel picture, provided it filmed in Australia. I love history and found some solace in hearing what I presume was Hoover's own words about the events he defined in American history. Bottom Line: 5.9 out of 10. Really unimpressive stuff from impressive people. Disappointing and uninteresting to the core.

Total Recall- Colin Ferrell Edition

I never saw the original Total Recall completely, so it's probably better that way. I was actually surprised with the film because it was decent. It gets a little ridiculous, I believe they broke the record for most bullets shot without hitting anyone originally held by Rambo 3, but I lived with it. The story is Colin Ferrell has dreams where he and Jessica Biel (HOT) are trying to escape from something and he's captured and she gets away. His wife, Kate Beckinsale (SO HOT), is an EMT worker who seems like the perfect wife. Ferrell doesn't like his life as a factory worker manufacturing synthetic soldiers and yearns for more. He goes to "Rekall" where they implant whatever memory you want, but the catch is it has to be a lie with no basis in reality. Since Ferrell wants to play a secret agent, but actually is one, it all goes to shit. He's on the run, everyone he knows is trying to kill him and it gets a little ridiculous. There wasn't anything glaring that I screamed bullshit at, but they escape with 30 machine guns firing at them from a glass room somehow and things like that happen a few times and it gets hard to chew. It moves at a nice pace and has plenty of action, so that isn't terrible.

Bottom Line: 6.7 out of 10. It wasn't awful, just nothing special, as you probably could have guessed without ever seeing it. God I love Kate Beckinsale.

Nitro Circus 3D

I wasn't super familiar with Nitro Circus. I knew they were kind of like Jackass, only Travis Pastrana legitimized them and they had more talent. This movie is motorsports porn pretty much. It's just a bunch of jumps, ramps, tricks, on modified big wheels, motorbikes, and other stuff. It's pretty impressive, but it was pretty much a promotional video for their live show in Vegas. I'm betting heavily they are going to try a nationwide tour because that's the only way this made any sense. It a bunch of high jumps with motor vehicles make your dick hard, I've found your film. They aren't as funny or charismatic as Jackass, but they have a lot more talent. I choose Jackass personally, but I'm not a big "motorhead". 3D was kind of cool, but it's not worth paying for, unless motortricks gives you pleasure.

Bottom Line: 6.2 out of 10. It's entertaining, mindless fun, but not worth throwing money at, similar to Jackass 3D.

The Watch

The Watch simply combines the almost standard roles of Ben Stiller (over-serious aging guy, Vince Vaughn (Loveable slacker, I think he says "I dig it" about 7 times, and Jonah Hill (Profane loser/momma's boy) into a comedy including aliens. Upon the murder of Stiller's Costco security guard (Side note: If Costco didn't chip in for this film I'd be shocked) he forms a neighborhood watch. Their job of patrolling the neighborhood is made infinitely more difficult by the hilarious Will Forte as a local Sgt, and aliens murdering people. It's cheap laughs and a barely plausible plot that's a cheap vehicle for the mentioned actors to make easy money being characters they have figured out. You'll laugh sometimes, that's about it.

Bottom Line: 6.8 out of 10. It's worth seeing when it's free because of some laughs, but that's about it. Pretty much a Shaun of the Dead with aliens and less British accents.

Summer Olympics, SO AWESOME

I am just ecstatic to watch some Olympic greatness. I love the team handball, badminton, tennis (especially doubles), table tennis, water polo, volleyball, and pretty much everything not covered on mainstream NBC. I like swimming, track & field, and gymnastics, but those other sports are so frenetic and exciting I feel they mop the floor with the old standards. Handball scores in like 30-28, how great is that? Badminton points happen in the blink of an eye, same with table tennis. There's almost as much doubles as singles for tennis on Bravo. It's just been a joy. I seriously wish I could take another week off of work and just soak in all the programming. Any sports I'm missing here?

USA baby.

Arrested Development

I had some time this week to go through the entire series of Arrested Development and I loved it. It's an amazing combination of talent and chemistry. You will never get a collection to match Jason Bateman, Will Arnett, David Cross, Jeff Tambor, Jessica Walter, Portia de Rossi, and Michael Cera. They work SO well together and have the comedic chemistry that you can't create, it just flows beautifully. There are great running jokes throughout and just excellent writing. I don't know where this show failed, but I'm thinking it was too smart perhaps, or it's difficult to jump in after a few episodes and it didn't start out hot enough, or just bad marketing, in any case it was a tragedy. That cast left with fond memories, but the show left too much on the table. Apparently there will be movie made, but it won't be enough. Premise: Incredibly screwed up family owns a real estate company and they get into crazy situations, but you can't possibly make-up the great situations, it's amazing. If you've never seen it, you need to watch from episode 1 and go from there. If you don't like it, I'd be amazed.

Bottom Line: 8.8 out of 10 and probably the best comedy on regular TV, right up there with Modern Family only a little more racy. Well done throughout and a must-see.

Dark Knight Rises

I was completely floored with how good this film was. I, like all others, had to worry that topping The Dark Knight and ending this amazing film trilogy wouldn't be possible. That this, like most other sequels and series climaxes had to be disappointing. That is simply not the case. Christopher Nolan is the best director/writer we have. His cast is sublime: The usual's: Michael Caine, Christian Bale, Gary Oldman, and Morgan Freeman are all in top form, and that's saying something. Caine is the best Alfred possible and gives a few dialogues that were heart-wrenching and amazing, truly brought something special to this film. Newcomers Anne Hathaway (SO HOT), Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Tom Hardy, Marion Cotillard and Matthew Modine (among others) all do an amazing job. The story twists and turns and you have no idea what's going to happen next and you are NEVER in control. It's just great film-making on all levels. It's easier to just say everything is great and there's only minor things to even nit-pick about. I left the theater thinking it was the best film I've seen on the big screen and possibly ever.

Bottom Line: 9.9 out of 10. It's the best action/drama film ever made and is the definition of a must-see film. Improving upon it is just personal opinion I feel and there are only about 3-4 things I would've TWEAKED, not even changed. All other directors/filmmakers/writers should be forced to just take notes on Christopher Nolan and how he develops a story and characters. I was blown away. At this point I put it as the best film I can think of with Schindler's List, and that's the highest praise I can think of. They are certainly different films that I don't like comparing, but you can see the greatness in all aspects with both.

SEE THIS IMMEDIATELY, it's a disservice you yourself if you don't. I almost told an older couple going to Spiderman to just turn back around, get tickets to Dark Knight Rises and thank me later. Epic stuff, truly epic.

Traffic

I dusted off the Steven Soderbergh classing Traffic because I honestly didn't remember much about it when asked. It's an excellent film lead by an amazing cast of: Benicio del Toro, Don Cheadle, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Mike Douglas, Salma Hayek, Topher Grace, and Dennis Quaid to name a few. You'll recognize others, but that's not the point. It's a great story on drugs and the relevancy in rich, white people America, as well as in Mexico and America in general. It weaves a group of stories together expertly and with talent EVERYWHERE. The roles are played perfectly and the stories run at a frenetic, yet expertly controlled pace.

Bottom line: 9.1 out of 10. Just a great film that is another MUST SEE movie if you've never experienced. I can't imagine anyone not liking the film due to the excellent quality at every turn.

A Clockwork Orange

I gave another run at a classic film that's gotten Malcolm McDowell works for the last 40 years. A Clockwork Orange is a great film that takes a still relevant and probably always will be topic of society running lives and making everyone a helpless robot and the effects that can have. If you don't know the story McDowell runs a gang of thugs that enjoy beatings, robbery, and rape to pass the boring nights in England. He accidentally murders a lady, gets caught, off to prison. In prison he finds a program of "rehabilitation" run by the newly elected government. It makes him violently ill during his violent or sexual urges. Society runs over his newly pussified form and it makes for great stuff.

Bottom Line: 8.9 out of 10. It's on Encore, go see it somehow if you haven't. It's a little long at around 2 hours, but it's done in a great fashion by Kubrick and it's a very interesting subject to think about.

In Time

I like the concept behind In Time because it's a kind of unique idea, and that's generally missing in the 30 remakes we've seen this year so far. Everyone has clock that has one year of time on it because you stop aging at 25 years and keep riding it out until your clock runs out. Poor people scramble and die, rich people live forever. Somehow Olivia Wilde and Justin Timberlake live day-to-day in ghetto even though they are gorgeous. You purchase everything with your "time". Timberlake stumbles upon a man with over a century of time who wants to die and donates his time to Timberlake. Timberlake's mom, Olivia Moon, dies in his arms because she runs out of time and he goes on a crusade. He infiltrates the rich area of town, starts hanging out with rich folk, but he starts getting followed by King "Timekeeper" (basically police to manage time) Cillian Murphy. He believes he stole the guys time who had a century and it wasn't a donation. Timberlake kidnaps Amanda Seyfried (who looks REALLY good in this movie) and her dad created this time scheme. They start robbing time from his banks and distributing it to the poor. Nothing great, but pretty decent all the same.

Bottom Line: 6.8 out of 10. I like the fresh idea and though it didn't WOW me in any capacity, it was worth watching on HBO.

Savages

I just saw the Olive Stone picture Savages and was pretty impressed with it. Blake Lively does well as the "star", but like so many shows/films now it ties together a lot of complex stories that are all intertwined. It has a great cast: Benicio del Toro, Salma Hayek, Lively, Taylor Kitsch (in a good film for a change), Emile Hirsch (very minor role), and Aaron Johnson (not a fan). It follows Kitsch, Johnson and Lively as the best weed growers in the world living in Laguna Beach. A cartel wants to partner with them, grow their business, etc. Johnson is a hippie and the brains, Kitsch is a badass ex-soldier and is the brawn. They rebuke the cartel, madness ensues. You have some gruesome acts, I just expected more from the trailers I saw. The movie is about 2.5 hours, but it moves quickly and is thoroughly entertaining. Del Toro, per usual, is the real scene stealer. His portrayal of a soulless psycho is amazing and genuinely disturbing/scary.

Bottom Line: 7.3 out of 10. I put it higher than IMDB and liked it. Johnson's character really bothered me with his hippie/pussy bullshit, but it's still very likeable and has a good and surprising ending. It's worth seeing in theaters, but you can wait for the rental too.

Trainspotting

I finally saw Trainspotting, the film most famous for making Ewan McGregor a star, but you'll see some other familiar faces as well. It's probably the most realistic heroin abuse movie I've seen. It follows Rent-Boy (McGregor) and his crew of friends, most are heroin addicts. It talks of the monotony of their lives and shows the lengths of heroin addiction, all the while making it funny and entertaining. There are very serious parts and funny parts all intermingled into a very good film. It makes no apologizes, asks for no sympathy, and moves along at a great pace. There's some excellent dialogue and acting throughout. SPOILER: There is an unforgettable scene with a dead baby that I won't be able to forget. It's just excellent.

Bottom Line: 8.3 out of 10. I HIGHLY recommend running out and renting this film. It's not uplifting or redeeming, but it's just well-done throughout. It's a good film, and that's rare these days.

Goon

I rented Goon for dollar and I'm not certain it was well spent. There was some cool stuff, but it was clear that this film was made for $28. Everything about it was cheap except for Liev Schreiber, who should have a spin-off. Schreiber is the uber-thug, recently suspended for a Marty McSorley-esque high stick to some dudes head. Sean William Scott can't skate or do anything hockey related, but he can fight like a God. He's signed on to a minor league local club to be the enforcer, then sent up a league to protect uber-star who suffered a massive concussion at the hands of Schreiber and hasn't been the same since. It's pretty harmless and predictable, but entertaining. I seriously hope Schreiber gets a spin-off. He has a Barry Melrose mullet and amazing fu-manchu stache and is all around awesome. There's a love story that pretty much just takes up time and attempts to add depth to the story, but it's not very good, the best is the comedy from the fights.

Bottom Line: 6.5 out of 10. If it's on TV, which it surely will be shortly, I recommend a watch, or a dollar rental. I think it was a ploy for Jay Baruchel to have Sean William Scott be Jewish or something to make them seem like badasses?

Abe Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

I want to, as usual, try to preface bias that I personally have that will come up in the film I'm reviewing. I hate when movies use partial truths, or even truthful things, then bastardize (shit all over) them just to make things viable in their movie. This is the entire movie, and it pissed me off safe to say. When you're making a B-movie (at best), don't try to actually make it a real movie with a love story and historical events. I wanted to see brainless action and vampire slaughter. I got occasional vampire killing mixed with half-assed history lessons full of half-truths they use liberally to try to make you believe it's possible Abraham Lincoln was a vampire hunter. It was OK, I just didn't like to sit there and watch the bullshit mount. The CGI is OK, the vampire killing is pretty enjoyable, they weave a barely acceptable story of how vampire hunting, Honest Abe, and the Civil War could all blend together. It's far from Army of Darkness and I can't really recommend it in any capacity.

Bottom Line: 3.6 out of 10. It had some entertaining moments, but that's all your going to get out of it. The acting really isn't horrific, Ben Walker is a decent Lincoln, you'll recognize some of the other actors, but don't see this fucking thing.

CAWHNTRAHBAHND (Contraband)

Mark Wahlberg + Boston accent= Good film.
Simple equation.

Wahlberg stars as a former smuggling all-star (At the DAWHKS) turned father/ home security installer. He goes straight, starts his own business, you see where this is going. Tragically underused Kate Beckinsale (She can't be in front of the camera enough in my eyes) plays his wife who has a grand-class fuck-up brother who throws drugs overboard when their ship gets searched. Giovanni Ribisi (Again excellent) demands the money and won't give Wahlberg more than two weeks to get it. Wahlberg then engages in smuggling insanity to get $700K, or something like that. The movie follows Ribisi terrorizing his family and his adventure to smuggle counterfeit bills to make the debt up. He of course has to bring uber-fucker-uper brother along. It's a clusterfuck, but you are kept in the darkness for the most part.

Bottom Line: 7.6 out of 10.
Worth a rental, if nothing else it's worth it for the accents.

Ted

I was really excited for Ted after seeing the profane trailer. I was looking for mindless humor from a teddy bear that cursed and acted insanely inappropriate, but this ventured too much into the Walberg/Kunis love story for me. This was not a showcase for Ted, but rather a love story with Ted being a funny side character. Kunis after four years of dating Wahlberg's character (John Bennett) realizes he isn't going anywhere/doing anything with his life and offers an ultimatum to have Ted move out and do his own thing. Wahlberg can't stay away from his best friend of the past 30 years and relapses. Here's where the humor and fun lie. Ted and John hanging out and getting into trouble. This has a great cast of Wahlberg, Kunis, Seth McFarlane, Patrick Wharburton in a tragically small role, Giovanni Ribisi, and Joel Mchale. It's still funny and worth watching, it's just not the movie I was expecting.

Bottom line: Don't spend $10 on this one, but definitely rent it when it's out. It's some cheap laughs from some very good actors and a love story that detracts from those things.

The Not Special in Any Way Spiderman

I'll preface this by saying though I don't read the comic books, I know about Spider-man. Peter Parker is a clumsy, nerdy, uber-smart kid who stumbles into greatness getting bit by a radioactive spider. Andrew Garfield played him as a smug emo fuck and that pissed me right off. This movie offered a slightly different spin on Spider-man's origin and made a bastardization of the character of Peter Parker. I like the lizard and can defend Rhys Ifans playing Dr. Kurt Connors, but once again there were certainly other choices that would've been better (Show me Mark Ruffalo). Upgrades in Martin Sheen, Dennis Leary, and Emma Stone, but HUGE downgrades with Garfield and Ifans over the first Spider-man. It offers some nice special effects, a cameo that I confirmed with IMDB featuring C. Thomas Howell, decent acting by Stone, Leary, Sheen, and Sally Fields, but all in pretty limited roles besides Stone. I was not much of a fan in any capacity of this film. Fell short of being a Summer blockbuster, falls into the "spent a bunch of money and it's OK" role of Summer film.

Bottom Line: 6.1 out of 10. Really didn't do much for me in anything. I couldn't get over my hatred for Andrew Garfield and how he had no Peter Parker qualities in my opinion. Watch when it's on TNT in two years.

21 Jumpstreet

I was frightful of this one, but I laughed a ton. I hate Channing Tatum and really can't call myself a huge Jonah Hill fan, but I love profanity. This is chocked full of profanity, enough to make you suffer through Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum. Ice Cube is hilarious, albeit seldom used, as the Captain in charge of "21 Jumpstreet". The premise is ridiculous, but there's a bunch of stuff to laugh at. If you like weird/funny situations and a bunch of cursing, this is certainly worth a viewing. Solid cameos, craziness, cursing, BAM!

Bottom Line: 6.8 out of 10. It's really entertaining and refreshingly ridiculous. There's some shit I saw and even in a comedy it was too stupid/ridiculous, but I laughed a fuckload.

Prometheus

Long overdue, but I really haven't seen anything in theaters besides Avengers despite having a movie passport that gives me unlimited movies for the $300 I already threw in (IDIOT).
Prometheus I took a flyer on because I generally like Ridley Scott and I really like the Alien mythology, or whatever you want to call it. Underrated cast that's just rock solid, but I feel like Idris Elba and Charlize Theron were underused. The main characters are actually Naomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, and Logan Marshall-Green, and while all do great, especially Fassbender, though I thought Repace did great with a tough roll. I just thought especially Theron was woefully underused. The story really doesn't deal a TON with the Alien mythology, it's just in the background really. The real story is the hunt for mankind's beginning by following archaeological findings from cave paintings of the same configurations. They find a planet/system matching the markings and the adventure is on. They have a standard crew of scientists mixed with "grunts". It's really the story of the planet they find more than anything else. It's well done and lends some explanation to the alien mythology, but it's a story that stands on its own. I did get pissed off at some points because with all movies like this people do unthinkably stupid shit that you can't possibly understand or buy as feasible, but it's not overwhelming.

Bottom Line: 7.2 out of 10. Summer blockbuster it isn't, something worth $10 and a couple hours of impressive film it is, YODA-ESQUE I KNOW. It's worth seeing, but don't expect mind-blowing greatness on this one.

www.nintendo1up.com

My friend Travis made a cool website comparing Nintendo games in a head's up format that everyone should check-out.

www.nintendo1up.com

It also has a greater purpose to endorse tournaments/group playing of older Nintendo games. Anyone thinks they can hold a candle to me in Dusty Diamond's Softball, Baseball All-Stars, or Tecmo NBA or Super Bowl can fucking bring. If anyone wants a great Contra/Jackal teammate, holler at your boy.

The Avengers- AMURRRICA ASSSSEEEEMMMMMBBBBBLLLLEEEE

I jumped on the bandwagon and saw The Avengers in 3D on Sunday night. Not certain if it was just me or not, but it felt like someone raped my eye sockets for 15 minutes a piece afterward. The movie itself was very good and well done surprisingly. The cast is top-to-bottom just excellent. Any movie where Stellan Skaarsgard, I don't know how to do the cool thing over the A in his name, but that's a damn good film. The premise is that Thor's mischievous Demigod brother Loki takes the Tesseract, a glowing square of power to provide earth with limitless free/clean energy. Loki plans on letting space people help him conquer earth, then rule us with an iron fist. Loki has some powers, like being able to enslave people with a touch of some weird wand, but he doesn't use it very often, which doesn't make much sense. He breaks into S.H.I.E.L.D, steals it, enslaves Skaarsgard and Renner (Hawkeye) and moves on to building a portal for his army. The heroes slowly trickle in and piss each other off, then Thor joins the party and gets into it with Iron Man, which is awesome. They imprison Loki and then shit gets crazy. It's super entertaining, with really only a few minutes where things are boring. The last hour is pretty much balls-out action. Robert Downey Jr. is his standard awesome Tony Stark keeping the bullshit and corny stuff to a minimum. Ruffalo is awesome as Bruce Banner/ The Hulk. Scarlett Johanson looks amazing in tight clothing, it's got just about everything. It avoids being too corny and over-done.

Bottom Line: 8.7 out of 10. It's really a solid film that's absolutely worth seeing in theaters to kick-off the summer movie season.

Side note: I bought a "passport" from Marcus Theaters for $300 allowing me unlimited movies for a year, so I'm pretty pumped and may be seeing this again in 2D just because.

Junior Seau

Another sad moment besmirched the NFL yesterday when Junior Seau took his life without a note or any kind of notice. It was crushing to hear Marcellus Wiley struggle through his recollections of how great of a person Seau was. Most frustratingly is the comments linking this with Dave Duerson's suicide. The tragic moment has already taken on an ulterior motive of Seau's brain being damaged from years of concussions. It does bother me that multiple concussions are being used to explain erratic behavior in for NFL players. I've picked up at least two concussions playing football in my lifetime, I can't imagine what an entire career at a much higher level could potentially do to you. What I don't like is the fact that there are a lot of other people with a lot of concussions that don't kill themselves, so it's bothersome that concussions get all the attention. I completely agree that pain/dementia/other issues related to concussions can certainly play a role, but I would like more on the subject besides the fact that there was a lot of brain trauma caused playing football. Boxers, hockey/LaCrosse/wrestlers and other athletes experience a lot of brain trauma too, where is all the uproar? The problem runs deeper, and while concussions are a bad thing not understood nearly enough, the rabbit hole runs deeper.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

I walked past a Wal-Mart $5 bin and found gold in the form of Best Picture, Actor/Actress, director and screenplay of 1975. I embarrassingly had not seen this film from start to finish and it was a great. Nicholson plays R.P. McMurphy, a man who has been in and out of prison for "fighting and fucking too much". A man of pure charisma he breathes life into a hopeless psych ward that is ran by the horrifically calculating and seemingly maniacal nurse Ratchet played to perfection by Louise Fletcher. He shows the men of the ward fun and excitement at his own peril. It's just a great film from start to finish, truly timeless. It's a must see if you've never seen the movie.

Bottom Line: 8.8 out of 10. It really is a run out and see this movie without question. It shows why Jack Nicholson has been a blue-chip star for so long. He simply dominates a well-written movie.

Faster Fiver

I couldn't resist not watching the newest Vin Diesel/ Paul Walker money scam known as Fast Five. It really wasn't as bad as I was expecting. Sure it is completely ridiculous in all action scenes, not even going to go into it, but it brought back a lot of the actors from the past, Tyrese, LUDA, Vince, and Jordana Brewster, which is nice. Good, underused villain in Hernan Reyes and really not a totally ridiculous plot on this one. It was entertaining, I like the Rock being brought in as a badass cop, that was entertaining. You know what you're getting into and it's enjoyable for the most part. It's a little over 2 hours, which is shocking to me. It moved pretty fast and really it's hard to be bored during the film.

Bottom Line: 7.1 out of 10. I'm absolutely shocked I threw it up this high. It's corny, ridiculous, and brutal at times, but it's really worth watching and being entertained for two hours.

Magic City

I'm a pretty big fan of Magic City, a new show on Starz that allows you to jump three weeks deep even though episodes 2/3 are for April 13th & 20th respectively. Excellent cast where you'll recognize most characters highlighted by Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Olga Kurylenko, Elena Satine, and Danny Huston. Weakest link= Christian Cooke in the major role of Danny, but I'll get to that. The movie focuses on the creation of Miramar hotel, the pinnacle of hot spots in blazing Miami in 1958/9. Miami was a tough place in the center of Cuba's overthrow and was partially lawless/mob controlled itself, it could get rough. JDM is the Casino GM/everything man Ike Evans. A connected, pretty tough man considering being Jewish in the 1950's wasn't all roses. his first wife is dead, he's married the smoking hot Olga Kurylenko and he has three kids: Stevie (aspiring lawyer at THE U), Danny (playboy, go-to man, and terrible actor), and young daughter Lauren, who is essentially just there to play cute and stir up feelings. There's a lot of hidden racism and it's a great piece of the 50's, highlighted by the classic cars, style, and craziness. Evans has a bad-ass business partner nicknamed the Butcher played by Danny Huston who is pretty awesome. The plot follows the plight of Ike trying to keep the Miramar afloat and hopping in a tough Miami. It's worth a look, that is a fact. Gorgeous women, lush everything, solid/interesting story and plot with decent enough writing to hold your interest. It's tough to beat.

Bottom line: 8.4 out of 10. Get on board, this is going to be a big deal in a few weeks.

The Grey

I took a flier on a movie at the cheap seats because I love when Liam Neeson is a badass. This film fell short of any and all expectations in an utterly soul crushing way. Throw away the cool trailers and screen shots and prepare yourself for a boring rendition of Alive mixed with essentially Jaws only with wolves. The movie is preposterous and I found myself cheering for the deaths of Neeson's fellow stranded crew mates. I seriously wanted everyone to die. They force an antagonist out of Frank Grillo that's completely ridiculous and annoying. The wolves are all CGI and easily twice the size of regular wolves. We are led to believe wolves mercilessly hunt anything within 30 miles of their dens and fear nothing. Everyone is an idiot except for Neeson. Nothing badass every happens except the devouring of people by the wolves. You ever get blue-balled at the end when Neeson finally decides to say "FUCK IT" to running and grabs a knife, shatters glass booze bottles and fashions glass knuckles out of them to fight the alpha wolf. It just fucking goes black and cuts away. You can't possible find any joy, redeeming qualities, or fun in this piece of shit. So much potential utterly fucking wasted. Maybe they couldn't get other actors because they filmed in shitty places or something, but this film lacked everything. I didn't give a shit about anyone, not even really Neeson who they show to have no reason for living within 5 minutes of the thing starting.

Bottom Line: 2.1 out of 10. Just a fucking piece of garbage.

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy

I took a flyer on TTSS since it was at the cheap seats, was nominated for Best Picture and I'm generally a big Gary Oldman fan. I wasn't disappointed in this very interesting spy story taking place during the Cold War throughout the early to Mid 70's (1973-1975 I think). John Hurt is the aging Intelligence head for Britain named Control and he sends Mark Strong to Russia to see if they can get intel on a mole (spy) for Russia inside British intelligence. Strong is shot, Hurt is usurped and take Gary Oldman with him on his way out. The British Prime Minister reels Oldman back in to find out about this Mole and the new program Toby Jones and Colin Firth fire up with their own Russian mole that's getting some intelligence on Russia. Great cast, some twists and turns that are well disguised and interesting. I'm always intrigued at movies that deal with our different intelligence agencies because it's hard not to be completely terrified at all the things we don't know, or really have a clue, that are being conducted all the time in the name of "security". Oldman is the star as the extremely reserved and respected George Smiley. Excellent story, plot, writing, directing, and cast. A bit slow at times and I would like to see it again to try to keep tabs on the story as it all comes together rather quickly at the end.

Bottom Line: 8.6 out of 10. Solid film with almost no weaknesses. Worth a rental or a trip to the cheap seats for.

No Man's Land

I saw another foreign film that was in "1001 Movies to See Before you Die", similar to Run Lola Run. It's called No Man's Land and takes on the Serbia-Herzogovenia conflict in a very small scale and personal way. They use it to pick apart war on a small scale that simplifies it for you. You start the film as about 8 men are creeping through the dark and fog to try to get to the Serbian front line. They awaken that morning 100 yards from the Bosnian line and everyone but one man is presumed dead. He makes it to an abandoned Serbian trench when the Bosnian's send two men after him. The first it a grizzled veteran and the other just made to the lines. The vet shows the rookie how to place a bouncing mine under a dead body that will pop-up and kill whoever moves the body. The Serbian shoots both men, killing one and wounding the other. He then finds out his comrade with the mine beneath him is not dead, just wounded. The three bicker and argue, the Serb shoots the Bosnian again. Both sides wave flags in an attempt to make a truce temporarily to get out. The UN sends aid, but are forced to do nothing due to the agreement they have to merely "Keep the peace". It shows how modern war is influenced by the media and public opinion. It's an excellent film to just make you think about war in a different way than the elaborate pictures we're used to.

Bottom Line: 8.3 out of 10. Excellent story, good acting. I really enjoyed it and it's certainly worth a cheap rental.

Hunger Games

Preface: I'm an enormous Jennifer Lawrence fan and I didn't read the books on this one.

I really enjoyed the Hunger Games as someone who knew VERY little about the story. The story is Earth, or wherever they are, had a revolt 75 years ago and in retribution of the revolt the 12 Districts the "world" is broken into has to offer a sacrifice of one 12-18 girl & boy to fight to the death for the enjoyment of others into THE HUNGER GAMES. They are filmed and it's a grand affair with banquets, a parade, and interviews. They train for four days, are judged, then it's game-time. It's a movie that REALLY should have been R-rated to convey more intensity and realism. My biggest beef, and it's a huge one is the Parkinson's camera as I call it. It's jittery and all over the place during action scenes. It bothered me an insane amount in Batman Begins and it's the same here. I hate jump cuts and shaky camera work. It's a total cop-out to good choreography and acting. It hides violence, which was probably necessary to secure a PG-13 rating, but it's super distracting. Very good ensemble cast with notables being Donald Sutherland, Elizabeth Banks, Woody Harrelson, and Jennifer Lawrence. The other actors do well, especially the younger child actors. I just really couldn't get past the shaky camera work. Everything else was really good, I just hated the lack or realism and actual fighting/violence.

Bottom Line: 9.0 out of 10. Right up there with Girl with a Dragon Tattoo for best film of the year, not sure if that came out in 2012 come to think of it... Lawrence, Harrelson, and LENNY KRAVITZ deserve nods for really good performances. Highly recommend jumping out and seeing this movie while it's in theaters.

Run Lola Run

I finally saw a movie that I heard was interesting awhile back featuring Franke Potente of Bourne Identity fame. She plays the girlfriend of a low-level gangster who loses 100K in DEUTSCHEMARKS that he's supposed to give to the local gangster boss in 20 minutes. Lola, AKA Franke Potente is forced to try to come up with 100K in 20 minutes and meet him in front of a grocery store a mile or so away. There's some great shots of Lola running through the streets, and my God is there a lot of running. Lola getting money to her boyfriend Manni is replayed three different ways at 20 minutes a pop. All with different outcomes to all characters. It intertwines Lola's Papa's affair to throw a little more spice into the story, but really it's just a frenetically paced moved that's interesting because of the camera work and performance of Potente. I wasn't a huge fan, but I did like the camera work. I imagine in 1998 when it came out it was a lot more riveting and interesting.

Bottom Line: 7.1 out of 10. It was worth the dollar rental, that is a fact. The soundtrack of techno/punk/rocky stuff is pretty interesting as well. Nothing special, but a pretty decent 90 minutes of adrenaline.

Immortals

I succumbed to wanting to see a stupid action movie and watched Immortals last night. It has Mickey Rourke as a tyrannical Kings who apparently only needs to steamroll one country to unleash "The Titans" back on the world. The Titans were imprisoned by the Gods after the war to start Earth occurred. It butchers and ignores mythology, which bothers me, but this movie wasn't near good enough to run with it's own story so it borrowed from mythology to try to make substance and that really pissed me off. Rourke is alright as a crazed King and there is some decent action scenes. That's the highlight as the rest is pretty much thrown together and baseless. There's a magical bow and arrow that's essentially like a howitzer coming at you, but it runs on magical light arrows that don't make any sense. Theseus (Hero) goes from kicking everyone's ass to getting his ass beat by old man Rourke. Save the few decent action sequences like the God's fighting and a few of Theseus' rampages the film pretty much sucks.

Bottom Line: 3.9 out of 10. Nice to look at visually, but the story, acting, plot, script, etc are pretty crappy. The few decent action scenes save this movie from me really tearing it apart.

Go

I saw an interesting throw a bunch of people whose stories all intersect movie in GO. really strong ensemble cast: Jay Mohr, Scott Wolf, Timothy Olymphant, Katie Holmes, Sarah Polly and Taye Diggs. You'll recognize most people in this movie as most have gone on to bigger & better, or were something before this movie (Mohr, Holmes, Wolf). The story follows a group of young convenience store clerks who are all looking for something to do on Christmas. Interesting mix of thugs, drugs, and craziness. Pretty fast-paced and gripping just on the simple fact that you bounce from character to character every 15 minutes. Does a great job of tying everything together while keeping you guessing on how it's all going to come together and end. I miss Jay Mohr being a smart-ass rich guy all the time.

Bottom Line: 7.9 out of 10. Really worth seeing for the performances and how everything is tossed together like a Guy Ritchie film. An excellent low-budget film that can be found on movie channels and such.

Winter's Bone

I finally got to see Winter's Bone since I just joined Family Video and it's preposterously cheap to rent movies there. I've wanted to see it for awhile because of the great reviews I heard and I thought it was a good thing to see before the Hunger Games to see Jennifer Lawrence in her breakout role. Winter's Bone is the story of a backwoods family, I thought it was West Virginia, but apparently it was all filmed in Missouri. Jennifer Lawrence plays the 17 year-old daughter who takes take of her younger brother and sister because her mom is incapacitated and a mute and her dad is on the run from the law. Her Dad signs their house and land up to post bond and Jennifer Lawrence must find him before their house it taken away and her family is homeless. You meet various hillbillies, rednecks, whatever you want to call them who resist Lawrence's character (Ree) and do their best to ruin any chance she has of trying to find her dad. It's a dark, brutal look into Ozark life and the strange backwoods way of doing things. Using a great cast of locals and actors I'm sure this was accomplished on a shoestring budget with relative unknowns for everything. I think it's excellent in all aspects, it really has an almost documentary feel, like you're along for the ride in this way of life. Lawrence carries the film as she must as the star in a no-frills film that relies on nothing but the actors and filmography to set the mood. It's very bare bones and gritty, but really it's the only way to convey the mood and way of life.

Bottom Line: 8.9 out of 10. Strong in all ways, just really depressing and dark subject matter throughout, but so well done that you stay involved throughout. Something that should be seen if you don't mind the fact it's not all special effects and action, but human emotions that are the flashy part of this film.

The Conversation

I went old school and DVR'd a movie from 1974 called "The Conversation" starring Gene Hackman and a few other notables in minor roles like John Cazale, Harrison Ford, and Robert Duvall. The story focuses on Hackman who is the premiere surveillance man in the business. You follow him and his crew as they tape a couple who are talking about plans to continue an affair. Hackman is instructed to bring the tapes to "The Director" and only him. There are nefarious words uttered by the couple exclaiming "He'd kill us if he had the chance" and Hackman can't look past the fact that if he hands in the tapes the young couple could be in danger. You get glimpses into Hackman's past as he is primarily a recluse. He's known primarily by reputation only. The film is pure suspense and just does a great job of not letting you know too much information about anything. The mystery and intrigue are thick, and I'm always a monster fan of Hackman. It ends strangely, but fittingly.

Bottom Line: 8.4 out of 10. Just an excellent movie. Technology and such are dated, but it's really all about the plot and acting, which are plenty to carry it.

Peyton Manning

I've had a complicated relationship with Peyton Manning. I disliked the shit out of him throughout college and most of his pro career. I reveled in the fact that he couldn't win the big game for most of his career. I enjoyed the fact of his continued failures for some reason. I think perhaps I thought there was some arrogance on his part that I really didn't like. He has done nothing but slowly win me over since that time. You only hear about his legendary work ethic and football intelligence. He's been hilarious and cordial in all events and shows he's been a part of. He does charity work and is always described as a nice guy. He gives handwritten notes to a select few players who retire expressing his appreciation for them. He was then thrown the harshest of sentences having an injury that despite anything he would do simply would not heal. His team, the one he built from worst to first and a perennial contender has moved on refusing to pay him $28 million dollars to continue to use his services. Nothing is more "what have you done for me lately" than the sports world. He handled this with utmost class of course, but now there's nothing but question marks in his future. A truly unrestricted free agent the likes of which we've never seen. The Colts without him struggled to win a game this year. He's probably a packaged deal with Manning stalwart Reggie Wayne. I'm excited for this to unfold. It puts crazy pressure on Andrew Luck to replace a legend right out of the gates. I love it and can't wait for the craziness to ensue. I love me the draft and this one will be no different.

Game on.

Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows

Saw the new Sherlock Holmes movie at the cheap seats and I was very entertained. I am an ENORMOUS Robert Downey Jr. fan, so I'm biased. He does an amazing job portraying a VERY complex character. Jared Harris is an excellent professor Moriarty, Holmes' greatest nemesis. Jude Law returns as does Rachel McAdams. This follows solely Holmes obsession with catching Moriarty red-handed in being the greatest criminal mastermind in the world. It is an epic journey much more action oriented than the first film. Good story tracking Moriarty around Europe and his various actions and countering everything. It gets a little weird with his "slow the world down" stuff, but you can get past it. You are always a few steps behind and it's never ridiculous enough to piss you off. Twists, turns, and a lot of ass kicking.

Bottom Line: 8.4 out of 10. Need to see it at some point since it's cheap now, I can't imagine you being disappointed on this one. It's just really good all the way around.

48 Hrs.

I finally saw the classic kind-of "buddy cop" film 48 hrs. It's perfect vehicle for Nick Nolte and Eddie Murphy. Nolte plays the grizzled "not by the book" cop obsessed with finding the man who took his gun and killed two police officers. Murphy is the SUPER-slick con man who gets out of prison on a 48 hour pass to help bring "Ganz" to justice. Both actors are great, especially Murphy who used this as a vehicle to split from SNL and begin his amazing career, recent films not withstanding. It effortless blends action and humor and I can imagine it was amazing bold for 1982. It's crazy to think Murphy was only 21 at the time while you watch it. Really a good film and worth watching if it slipped through the cracks on you, like it did for me.

Bottom Line: 8.6 out of 10. Entertaining, well-acted and written. Rock solid.

Act of Valor

I had some worries jumping into this knowing it was using current U.S. Navy Seals, not actors for the roles. You will notice it's not as smooth as other movies in terms of dialogue and some acting parts, but it is all made up for in simply the most realistic military movie ever made. I also want to preface that the Seals are NOT bad actors, they do a fine job. The movie follows a Navy Seal team through a series of missions that start out as a rescue, then turns into a manhunt. They are so smooth and badass in the combat sequences that it really sets a standard for movies to follow. I did HATE the Call of Duty-esque camera view from time to time. It detracted and felt really gimmicky and cheap. The film is pretty heart-wrenching and gritty, it really doesn't pull any punches about the life of our armed forces. There isn't a lot of room for comedy and joy, just some character development and right into it. Really a tribute/ recruiting film for our military, but certainly worth seeing the most realistic combat you'll see.

Bottom Line: 8.2 out of 10. It's really worth checking out, bring tissue or a handkerchief, probably going to come in handy.

Win-Win

Win-Win was available on Cinemax on demand and I heard good things and saw it was tracking 94% or something crazy high on rotten tomatoes. I'm a pretty big fan of Paul Giamatti despite the fact he really is normally the same character of an older, generally calm guy who has bouts of intense yelling and anger that is generally awesome. Good additions of Amy Ryan (of The Office fame), Jeff Tambor, Burt Young (Pauly from Rocky), and newcomer Alex Shaffer who is excellent in the role of Kyle. Giamatti has two daughters and is married to Amy Ryan. He runs a struggling law office where his primary clients are the elderly. He finds a hidden gem in Burt Young's character, an elderly man in the early stages of dementia who can no longer take care of himself, but doesn't want to go to a home. Giamatti notices he would receive $1500 a month to be his guardian, so he tells the court he'll take care of him and keep him at home, but he enrolls him into an elderly home all the same when his daughter fails to answer any of the letters or calls his law office makes. Kyle shows up at Paul Young's house and says he's his grandson and things start to get real interesting. Great story, acting, writing, EVERYTHING. A solid film throughout carried by Giamatti similar to Sideways. Kyle Shaffer was a great high school wrestler which shines through in his performance, but his career ended when he broke his L-5 vertebrae (www.imdb.com SHOUT-OUT).

Bottom Line: 8.6 out of 10. I really liked the movie and besides some unavoidable slower parts I thought it was really good. I'm probably too high on Shaffer, but for your first acting performance he certainly held his own.

Hobo With a Shotgun

I fell for the bullshit "grindhouse" like movie Hobo With a Shotgun because Rutger Hauer is cool shit and I wanted to see an action movie. It's not so much an action movie as fucking garbage. They might have just picked random names out of a phone book to place with Rutger Hauer. Molly Dunsworth as Abby the prostitute would be the only other actor worth mentioning. Story is Rutger Hauer is a hobo who becomes disgusted with a town which is completely insane with evil and bad people. They do horrible things lead by a guy named Drake and his two idiot sons who suck at acting and I imagine life. There are a few cheap laughs and pure gross-out bullshit throughout. I don't really want to talk about it, it's fucking terrible.

Bottom Line: 1.8 out of 10. I'd rather slam my dick in a car door than see this again.

Safe House

I jumped on this one just because of Denzel's name being attached to it. The movie itself is not at all what I thought it would be. Ryan Reynolds is an agent who watches a C.I.A safe house in South Africa. Denzel is an uber badass who defected from the C.I.A. and sells secrets and info for money on the black market. He runs into a U.S. Counsolette/embassy out nowhere and he hadn't been on the radar since 2011. He is taken into custody into Reynold's safe house and shit just goes crazy. Denzel has an interesting back story you slowly learn as craziness happens all around you. Reynolds wants to do anything to get a promotion out of house sitting for the government and it leads him to do crazy shit to try to bring Denzel in. Good story, well written, good cast, and some cool twists and turns. Well done film.

Bottom Line: 8.2 out of 10. Everything is really good and solid from top to bottom. It's worth checking this film out.

Paul

I saw Paul after some recommendations about it and I thought it was alright. Starring Simon Pegg and the other guy from Shaun of the Dead, Seth Rogan as the voice of Paul the alien, Jason Bateman, Bill Hader, Kristen Wiig, and Sigourney Weaver. Strong cast. The story is Paul the alien is on the lamb from the government and Simon Pegg and other guy are nerds who write and draw sci-fi books. They try to help Paul get to his undetermined destination where he's going to get picked up by his people and go back home. Zaniness and wackiness happens, it's strangely child-like, but still has very adult language, it makes you feel weird.

Bottom Line: 6.7 out of 10. Good for a few laughs and it's really got a strong cast for being a strangely kiddy movie with bad language.

Drive

Ryan "Baby Goose" Gosling is getting Oscar hype for some reason. I liked the movie, I just feel like Gosling really didn't have to do much except say about 80 words and drive a car primarily. The movie is an homage to 80's stuff with tight scorpion jackets, neon pink cursive writing, and 80's techo music with Megatron and foreign chicks singing in the background. Looking past that we join Gosling on a heist where he is the getaway drive, or "Wheelman" as the kids say. He looks smooth, never talks, and drives a car very well. He comes across a neighbor lady, doesn't say anything, later sees her in a market, doesn't say anything. Sees her in a parking lot having car trouble, walks over to fix the car, doesn't say anything. Returns the groceries to her apartment, doesn't say anything, BUT finally says "where should I put these" and the unbearable awkwardness is broken, but remains a recurring theme. We find out her baby's daddy is in prison, Gosling starts spending quality time with them and they take a SHININ' to each other. Gosling works at a garage she takes her car to, his boss insists Gosling take her home where he takes the woman (Carey Mulligan) and her son on a detour in an aqueduct and to a stream where I assumed gruesome murder/rape was about to ensue, but instead they form a bond. After a few bonding sessions they find out her baby's daddy is getting out of prison= fun is done. Husband still owes $$$ to people, they force him to rob a pawn shop and Gosling offers his services as Wheelman extraordinaire to ensure everything goes swell. All hell breaks loose, the movie takes off on a crazy ride of vengeance and it starts getting real stabby.

Bottom Line: 7.9 out of 10. I really felt like it was good, and I liked it, but it seemed to take a long time to accomplish anything meaningful. I honestly don't know if I'll watch it again, but it's certainly worth seeing once. Interesting soundtrack and camera work.

R.I.P Joe Pa

A real tragedy befell Penn St, Pennsylvania, and America on Sunday as Joe Paterno passed away from complications from lung cancer, and perhaps more tragically, a broken heart. There are painful parallels between the passing of coaching great Bear Bryant and Paterno. Both men gave their whole beings to coaching, though Paterno would be much more well-liked by the general masses. After Bryant retired, he passed soon thereafter and Paterno mentioned to Brent Musberger once upon a time that he never wanted to retire for fear of having the same thing happen to him. He never did retire, he was stabbed in the back and ran over by the very institution he built. A university more well-known for livestock than football when Paterno arrived he turned Penn State into a world-class University. His legacy dives so much deeper than football as he gave countless hours and funds to various University projects, most notably the new library and hospital. I don't think it's possible to overstate what he's meant to Penn State. He was the man who fell on the sword for the failures of those in charge in the Sandusky scandal. A 76-year old man at the time of McReady's confession of seeing "something" in the shower he went to his higher ups and, as is with University policy, gave it to those in charge to handle. Somehow his celebrity and greatness was used against him to be the poster child of the University doing SOMETHING to respond to the allegations and their complete failure to do anything at all about it. It bothered me from the moment it happened and especially pisses me off now. Blame was assigned in completely the wrong manner. I refuse to think anyone would have gone fucking vigilante on Sandusky upon hearing the weak allegations of McReady. Paterno's job had nothing to do with dealing with Sandusky, nor did he have any greater obligation than to pass it along to the University higher-ups.

How does he bear any blame for this? Why was he jumping on grenades for the university that just threw him under the bus? His last act for the university he did everything for was to diffuse the largest bomb in school history by laying on it. This was somehow the genius PR strategy. To place it at the feet of the man who is synonymous with Penn State glory and greatness. Mourners flock to visit the final resting place of their hero and, for thousands of players, father figure. The great moulder of men who has the loyalty of thousands he coached into being better people will somehow be remember for all the great things, and one monster bad thing that he had nothing to do with. People who feel that now is another great opportunity to take a parting shot at how he handled this scandal can find me in any parking lot of their choosing for some words. It simply wasn't what Paterno deserved, or should have gotten. It's a bunch of bullshit, a tragedy, a joke, a fucking travesty. I feel horribly for his family and loyal friends/followers. His legacy should be polarized, not tarnished. It's going to bother me for the rest of the time I'm alive on this earth.

Amistad

Amistad is Steven Spielberg's tale of the 1839 mutiny aboard a slaveship named La Amistad. African prisoners overthrew the ship in a bloody rebellion, killing all crew members except two, who were supposed to lead them back to Africa. They land utterly confused on American soil (I think in PA, but I'm not sure sadly) where they are promptly tried on various charges, but on the backburner the entire time is who owns there people? The cast is phenomenal. Morgan Freeman, Djimon Hounson, Matt McConaughey, Anthony Hopkins (steals the movie), Stellan Skaarsgard, even Pete Postlewaithe (the late sadly) who you'll recognize, and Anna Paquin. The prisoners speak zero English and can't communicate for a decent portion of the film. You follow the trials through different levels of our legal system and learn their horrible story. The acting is unreal, and clearly Spielberg is tugging on your heartstrings from time to time. Hopkins lays it down as John Quincy Adams and deserved, and got, his usual Best Supporting Actor nod for this one. Everyone is excellent, but Hounson and Hopkins stand above, ESPECIALLY HOPKINS (I was in awe). It's a great story told expertly by cast and crew alike.

Bottom Line: 8.4 out of 10. An excellent film that is essentially a must-see if you've never indulged. On I think Starz currently. Downgraded because it's fairly long and has some drab parts that make you realize it's over 2.5 hours long. It's solid though, I feel dirty lowering it like that, but it's not Schindler's List good if you're wondering, so I maintain some standards here.

Letters from Iwo Jima

Clint Eastwood directed a couple WWII pictures around the same time, Flags of our Fathers, and Letters from Iwo Jima. Letters from Iwo Jima is from the Japanese prospective of the battle for Iwo Jima. Ken Watanabe leads a solid, if not unrecognizable cast that does an excellent job of portraying the unimaginable plight of the Japanese soldier. Your Emperor expects you to fight and win despite having inferior everything. If you can't win, then you should die, because that's what's honorable. It displays interesting parts of Japanese culture and is very entertaining despite it's educational value. I love Ken Watanabe personally. Anytime you need an Asian male actor I think the list starts with him. He plays the role of the General in charge of defending the island of Iwo Jima despite getting NO help from Japan. Iwo Jima was historically important because it was the last Pacific Island before the mainland of Japan. Once America conquered Iwo Jima, it could begin bombing runs on the Japan mainland (kind of a big deal). You are painfully watching the desperate scramble to hold on to the small piece of land to the death, because that is the only possible outcome.

Bottom Line: 7.8 out of 10. Skewed because I'm a history/ WWII fan, so it's probably a bit high.

The King's Speech

I succumbed to the Oscar's charms and watched King's Speech since it's free on Showtime. The film is the story of soon to be King George VI and his strange stammering and stranger ascent to the thrown. Geoffrey Rush is his standard great self, Colin Firth is excellent, and Helena Bonham Carter can somehow play a crazed bitch in Fight Club as well as an English Queen, pretty good stuff. The King has a crippling stammer that makes public speech impossible. Rush is the last option, though the King is far from a fan at first. Their relationship and the King's progress moves forward and it's very well done and acted throughout. It's an excellent biopic that really puts you into the time and immerses you in it. I don't think it deserved Best Picture in front of the amazing and original Inception, but that might be my youth taking over.

Bottom Line: 8.1 out of 10. Very strong movie, just far from exciting or dazzling to the layman like myself.

Battle for L.A. (Not the RATM album)

Aaron Eckhart has played of my all-time favorite roles of Nick Naylor in Thank You for Smoking. He plays a Sargent in Battle for L.A. and is a soul because he lost the men under his command in Iraq, but he survived. Aliens are attacking L.A. and we aren't doing too hot fighting them. They have guns that shoot pieces of metal, comparable to a rail gun in video games. It's fighting and drama and action, so it's not terrible. It's pretty ho-hum and predictable for the most part. Decent acting throughout headed by Eckhart as the tortured soldier. There's quite a bit of ridiculousness, like not just blowing up everything around the aliens because the millions of missiles we have all across the country are apparently useless, but sending troops on foot with M-16's is the best idea we can come up with. All projectiles we could fire from any number of places, including jeeps and vehicles we have all over the place. I couldn't look past those facts the entire time, so the movie was jaded for me.

Bottom Line: 6.8 out of 10. It was better than I expected, but that really isn't saying much. I hate ridiculous moments in action movies and this had a few, but it was manageable. It's worth a free viewing on Starz, or whatever movie channel it's on.

Priest

I also took the opportunity of watching Priest trying to watch some kick ass action scenes without having to give a shit about the movie itself. This movie failed wholesale at even those modest expectations I had. The only good action you could've watched in the trailer, but I'll give this movie some kind of real review. Paul Bettany is a "Priest", or a man trained by the church to hunt and kill vampires. He's haunted by the death of his friend and fellow Priest Karl Urban who he could have saved. Karl Urban didn't die but was re-born as a man/vampire who has great power. He kidnaps Bettany's niece and kills his brother and brother's wife in the process. Bettany undoes his vows to the church and goes hunting. Cam Gigandet is simply the worst actor I've ever witnessed. He has no real emotion or talent. He does confused and stupid for his only two looks/emotions. Bettany is solid and pretty badass, but super one-dimensional as expected. Maggie O looks good and is solid as well. Lilly Collins is hot, she'll be in some movies as she can look VERY young, but she's 22, so dirty thoughts are nothing to be ashamed of (didn't know that until looking at her IMDB profile...). Bettany finds vampires are still in full force unlike society has been led to believe by the church, crap ensues.

Bottom Line: 3.1 out of 10. Some decent fights/effects but the acting and plot are just fucking terrible. Nothing is good about this film except that it's only 80 minutes of my life instead of 100 I won't be getting back.

Kill the Irishman

I watched a documentary of Cleveland legend Danny Green (YUP, Irish guy). He ran some unions and was a bill collector like Rocky, only he beat the shit out of a lot more people. He ran into trouble when rather than pay the mafia %50, or whatever their cut was of his "action" he told them to fuck off. What ensued was 37 bombings in a Summer and a lot of death and craziness. He survives like 8 assassination attempts and lives a pretty badass life. Solid cast headlined by Ray Stevenson as Danny Green, Christopher Walken, Vincent D'Onofrio and Val Kilmer. You'll recognize all the Italian guys in it from either the Sopranos, Casino, or Goodfellas. It's very entertaining and well done. I think Stevenson was too old for Danny Green in his younger days, but he does a good job in the very tough but still has some kind of heart Irish guy.

Bottom Line: 7.6 out of 10. Worth a free look on Starz while it's on. Interesting facts on the times and Danny Green that you ordinarily would never have known. Real footage is spliced in on occasion that really makes it feel authentic and biographical. He's just so badass it's just amazing and that's what I couldn't get past.

Super 8

Had the opportunity to watch Super 8 over the New Years weekend and I was impressed for a stretch, then disappointed. The story is a smaller town in Ohio has some kids who are making a movie for a festival. Side story is one of the kids mom died in a steel mill accident and his dad is emotionally distant. It's pretty pointless, but they try to play it up (poorly I'll add). Kids wonder off at midnight to do some shooting (zombie movie) and witness a train get derailed by a guy driving a pick-up truck into it. On further investigation they see their middle school teacher drove the pick-up truck into it and in a recurring theme of completely defying logic, he's still alive. He tells the kids to say nothing to anyone and waves a gun at them. Kids tell no one and the Air Force rolls into town to start picking up the mess. People, pets, and metals start disappearing, you start catching flashes of a huge beast with multiple arms (4 I think) and the plot thickens. At the end of the day it gets ridiculous and silly at times, and the attempts at adding human feelings and such fail. It's still a pretty interesting movie with great special effects and for the first half, an interesting plot.

Bottom Line: 6.6 out of 10. It's worth seeing, but don't go into it with great expectations. It's really a well hidden monster thriller, but once the cat's out of the bag it goes downhill in a hurry.