Football, loving it.

Upsets are rolling in all over the place and football is consuming most of my weekend as well. The LSU game was AMAZING with an unreal goaline stand to preserve a tough victory that was really undeserved. Cincy beats Pittsburgh, WHO DEY? I can't watch enough football, but new Curb Your Enthusiasm and Bored to Death have started up on HBO and are both really good. Bored to Death is Jason Bateman, Ted Danson, and Zach Galifinakis, that's just rock solid. HBO is really bringing the wood and Showtime is bringing back Dexter and Californication, so DVR will be putting in some OT. Good Call Matt with the HBO stuff.

I'm going to use this time to vent about the failures of my fantasy football teams. I'm in a 14 man league where I have Phillip Rivers, Deangelo Williams, Ray Rice, Tim Hightower, Steve Smith, Chad Ochocinco, Santonio Holmes and Todd Heap and I'm going to be 1-2. In my 10 man league I have Kurt "If I play 16 games we're in the Super Bowl" Warner, McGahee, Rice (Again), Benson, Julies Jones, Frank "My ankle is gone" Gore, Anquan THE Boldin the Beautiful, Larry Fitzgerald, Eddie Royal, Lance Moore, and I'm going to be 0-3 unless the Cardinals can UNFUCK their horrible effort at home vs. the Colts. What the fuck is going on in the world? My teams are stacked and I can't win shit. If this garbage doesn't improve I'm going to just start trading some of these pussies for cash or something. I headed into this Sunday Night game up 25 with Warner, Fitz, and Boldin vs. Peyton, Wayne, and Clark and I figured I was golden, but that was before I found out that God hates me. What the fiddlyfuck is going on if I can't win games with those teams?

Sadly I also have to watch Peirre "Ruined your trip to Virginia twice" Garcon light it up while our boy Derek Stanley was just sadly cut by the Rams. Hopefully the injury to Robinson will open up a roster spot and Derek can get back to making Sportscenter highlights.

Weak post, but maybe I'll find something to rant about soon, or watch a movie. I've heard mixed things about the Informant and plan on seeing it. My buddy from high school said it's based on his company that manufactures sucrose (I think) and Damon's character somehow embezzles millions, so that sounds entertaining.

The art of a garbage non-conference schedule

Does anyone feel like explaining to me why the Badgers paid Wofford $500,000 dollars in a shitty economy to drag Wofford's sorry ass to Madison so we could stomp it in? Meanwhile our neighbors to the West, whom we share reciprocity with that put my siblings through school there, play a VERY overrated Cal and almost pull off a big-time upset. They get DAP and we lose $500,000 and get a W that might guarantee us a bowl game, but I have to believe there is a better way.

Why does it make sense to play paddycake opponents before the start of a grueling Big Ten season? Why can't we play a bad team for free on the road instead of a completely fucking awful team for $500,000 at home? Why not Vanderbilt, or some other nearby D-1 doormat? The Badgers have the most shameful non-conference schedule every year and it's sickening. Why can't we pony up a play a real team in the preseason ever? At least play somebody that is a real D-1 school before the Big Ten season play starts. How can you prepare for a team that can actually bring in players that actually have athletic ability? How is it OK to pay a horrible team to come to your place? I imagine the University makes all that money back during a home game, but I refuse to believe we couldn't get a decent school begging for national attention to come here and play UW for free.

I just remember this biting us square in the ass when a bad Cincy team beat us and ruined our national title hopes before a meaningful game was played. Nothing was learned and we are content to limp into the Outback Bowl every year and get shit-stomped by the SEC, fucking sweet.

Kanye: Go Douche Yourself with Sulfuric Acid

Who in the fuck interrupts the acceptance speech of a 17 year-old at the MTV Video Music Awards? Kanye West, probably drunk from some pictures I saw with him enjoying a Hennessey bottle beforehand. Why in the fuck does he think his opinion matters? We get it, you're a good lyricist/producer, but guess what? Nobody really cares when you get on your soap box and just puke stupidity out of your mouth.

His sense of entitlement is like nobody I've ever seen short of Paris Hilton/ Lindsey Lohan. At least those two have found ways to not say stupid shit in front of a lot of people who have microphones or cameras. How do you go about making this right? Who steals the spotlight of a 17 year-old only to tell them that they are not deserving of the award that people with a whole lot more intelligence than Kanye voted her the winner? Note: it didn't matter if it was a bunch of screaming teenage girls who can barely read or write besides Twitter drivel, or a panel of Rhodes scholars, anyone voting is smarter than Kanye West.

It's called an opinion. People feel the way they do about things, but you DO NOT always need to have your opinions known to the world. Most people realize that their opinion is not more important than everyone else's, but this has no effect on KanGay. He needs to get smacked around by Beanie Seigel or something. His apology was even awful. All caps, saying he apologized to Taylor Swift's mom already and a bunch of other dumb shit. Then he ends it with saying he gave his awards to Outkast when they were clearly better than he was. The same guy who calls out the world when he doesn't win album of the year? Yup, he has a whole bunch of humility and grace. Somebody please try to rape him with an AIDS/malaria/ bubonic plague/ tuberculosis/ cholera/ polio/ Paris Hilton's vaginal discharge soaked stick and hope he learns something.

You've been Nadaled

I was watching Monfils vs. Nadal last night when it was all put into perspective for me why Nadal is SO good when healthy. There is no player who goes harder, but demands more from the opponent than Nadal. The ball he ordinarily hits in a rally has WAY more topspin and english on it than anyone else in the game. I was watching great 20-some hit rallies between the two, and then late in the second set it happened, Monfils was simply unable to continue the effort that won him the first set. During his returns he'd sink low to the ground, but almost like an exhausted basketball player lining up during a free throw. He just wasn't willing to play the kind of tennis necessary to win. It doesn't help that Monfils appears like he'd be able to run a marathon without much trouble and you'd think by shear appearance that he's the most athletic man on tour. Nadal just crushed him physically to the point where he was steamrolled for 2.5 sets before putting up a fight late in the 4th. Nadal is SO hard to beat in a five set match because you have to hit his heavy ball constantly. He makes you run knowing that he will run any length to win the point. Nadal gets many shots back that would be outright winners on most other players. It's no wonder that his clay court record is preposterous.

I got pissed because the Bryan Bros. got knocked out of the doubles tourney as well as Nestor/ Zimonjic. The Bryan Bros. where the last American men to not fade away and get wasted on our home court. We have everyone's favorite Melanie Oudin and the obvious Williams sister's to fall back on, but no American men in the quarterfinals? Too long has Andy Roddick carried our torch with all of his effort without having ANYONE else do jack. Sam Querrey? Robby Ginepri? Donald Young? James Blake? John Isner? None of the above are capable of doing much of anything in majors, though Querrey has some kind of chance to do something. Isner can make some kind of run at Wimbledon, but will fail unless his serve is unconscious the entire time since he will almost certainly be incapable of breaking any top player. How can American men not be better at a game that Agassi and Sampras elevated to riotous heights when I was growing up? How has their greatness not inspired better players from our country? Why does the Nick Bollitieri's Academy seem to cater exclusively to Russian women? Something needs to give because American does not enjoy mediocrity in any sport besides cricket and rugby.

Fantasy sports... Well Football anyway.

Fantasy football is such a source of fun it amazes me that it isn't called our new National Pastime. It bothered me when our high school league split up only to come back in a smaller faction. I wish I had that long standing league where the same 12 guys meet in a room and drink way too much with each other, make fun of each other like it was the roast of Bob Saget, and then drink way too much that night reminiscing about your collective experiences.

This brings me to the next point, high school friends. Reading Bill Simmons' Vegas articles, which are a must read for anybody that's frequented Vegas with some friends, it made me reaffirm how much your old high school friends are amazing. We just had our annual Cow Chip festival in which the majority of people come back, similar to the day before Thanksgiving, AKA Black Wednesday. You have to love never lacking something to talk about, or being made fun of for shit that happened 8 years ago. The shared experiences that you can draw from is "deeper than the deepest ocean, wider than the sky". I'll pay somebody to find the song that goes to, because I have no idea. It makes me wonder why people drift apart, or why in this day and age do people still lose touch? It's too easy to find people and get back in touch, even if it's just to make sure they're doing OK.

Next point: Why the fuck did my class not get a class reunion and why haven't we done something about it? Class of 2003, let's pull something together for this year and make it our oddball 7 year reunion. Too much greatness to not meet up every 5 years or less to live it up with each other again.