The American

The American has some action, sex, love, drama, cinematography, and heaps of Clooney. Clooney carries the drama-like movie through a few different stories swirling. He's building a gun for a female assassin, who is mysterious. He's starts nailing a prostitute, he eventually really likes her. There's some attempted murder and picnic lunches, but I think the heart of the story becomes Clooney's love story with the hooker. The film is overall pretty slow and has an artistic feel forced upon it. Never really had an identity, I'm thinking it was made solely because of Clooney's involvement.

Bottom Line: 6.3 out of 10. Worth watching for free, some good acting from Clooney and others, but really nothing spectacular on any level, except the hookers BOOBIES, those were fantastic.

Cyrus

This movie was totally misrepresented in the advertisements. This was hyped as a hilarious battle between John C. Reilly and Jonah Hill. What it in fact is would be an adult love story between Reilly and Marisa Tomei, who is still drop-dead gorgeous. It's really a story of two people who thought their romantic lives were over finding each other and love again. Hill really doesn't fuck with them ALL that much. There's a couple funny parts, but really not much. I really wasn't a huge fan and the fact I was expecting comedy probably hurt the movie for me. Pretty good acting, but I really struggled with the lack of war between Reilly and Hill. Too much bullshit, not enough comedy, or love story if they wanted to take it that way. Really never finds itself in my opinion.

Bottom Line: 5.8 out of 10. I really don't recommend watching it. It's not a comedy or a romantic comedy really. It defies description, but it's not really entertaining, or sustainably funny. See on Cinemax if you feel so inclined, just don't expect much.


SIDE NOTE: Very interesting show called Franchise: A season with the San Francisco Giants on Showtime. Beautiful moments where Jeremy Affeldt and Matt Cain come home to their families after an extended road trip set to "I'm Coming Home" acoustically done by I think Keri Hilson, but I'm not sure. Affeldt has an especially beautiful moment on the way in where his young son is on the phone and Affeldt says he's coming up the driveway, "open the garage door for me" and his genuine happiness seeing his kids is beautiful. Bruce Bochy seems like a manager his players would lay on a grenade for. He hangs out in his office and offers to crack a beer, or, after a win, a nice bottle of wine. He's super accessible and I think he'll have a job there for QUITE some time. I love these shows allowing us further access into the lives of athletes. I especially like to look at the veterans who may not be superstars, but have become so well adjusted and natural in their ways. They juggle the lifestyle of a pro athlete + a family life, it's just really fascinating.

Horrible Bosses

Premise is three friends hate their three bosses. Jason Sudekis loved his old boss, but now his coke-head, doucher son (GREAT job by Colin Farrell on this one) is now running the chemical company. Colin Farell just OWNS this role. He is completely fucking hilarious and is only limited by his lack of on-screen time. Bateman hates his boss played by Kevin Spacey, who does a very good job as well. Spacey is a heartless asshole, your standard Glengarry Glenross Alec Baldwin inspired boss. He refuses to promote Bateman and runs him into the ground. Charlie has Jennifer Anniston as a man-eater who wants him to plow her. Anniston does a pretty good job, she is still VERY GOOD looking, so that's nice. It's your typical dumb humor movie, which tends to bother me when Charlie is just WAAAAYYYY too stupid. I don't find it funny when it crosses the line into just ridiculous stupidity. Jamie Foxx is hilarious for the few minutes he's onscreen as their Hit man liaison Motherfucker Jones. Really good cast, pretty funny plot and story, not great writing, but decent.

Bottom Line: 7.4 out of 10. Great side characters help drag it along, worth seeing when it's out on video.

Transformers TRIFECTA

I saw the new Transformers movie like most idiots out there. Impressive CGI as always, I can only imagine how awesome the 3-D version probably is. Once again we're forced to try to care about Shia LaDOUCHE and NOT Megan Fox as I'll refer to her (FYI she's a shitty substitute). He's REALLY in love now with NOT Megan Fox and they're relationship is stressed because LaDouche can't find a job even though he thinks he's special or something. The Decepticons for years have been keeping the dark side of the moon a secret where an old Autobot ship crashed with a matrix and pillars capable of building an energy bridge to anywhere + sentinel Prime, the only bot capable of using it. It's a huge crazy plot that makes no sense when you think about it, so try not to, you'll run into that a lot. It's got a similar cast + John Malkovich (who needs to murder/fire his agent), Francess McDermott, Patrick Dempsey, and the dude who was Steve the Pirate in Dodgeball. There's some great action, it's just always bothered me that they force us to try to care about the humans when the movie should be about the BOTS. It's worth watching, I'm not sure about throwing $15 or whatever at the 3-D version though.

7.1 out of 10. It's enjoyable and action packed, just don't expect any Oscars to be doled out on this one.