Prisoners

Preface: Don't watch this if you have children. This movie is your gritty, tough reality take on child abbuction and there's is absolutely nothing glorious or glamorous about it. This movie joins a super "blue collar" family of Hugh Jackman and Marie Bellows, perfectly cast I may add, and Terrence Howard and Viola Davis (perfectly cast) as your white collar family. Both parents have 6ish year old daughters abducted under questionable circumstances and a great movie occurs. Jake Gyllenhal fills in as your consumed by the job police detective who has solved every case presented to him, coincidentally. I think the casting is just perfect and I loved that aspect. You live through the abduction, and Hackman abducting the character of Paul Dano (again, truly perfect casting) as essentially a mentally handicapped man living with his aunt in an RV. I really don't want to ruin anything because it plays out magnificentally, but there is the police hunt for the girl's, and then the Hackman's personal hunt. The movie separates into almost two parts, but you're all-in for both of them. I was a huge fan that was along for the ride I felt. I complained about a few parts, but it's completely acceptable since it's uncharted territory. It almost forces you to took inward and think about what you would do if your child was taken, and that is really terrifying. It was great work in my opinion. Bottom Line: 8.3 out of 10. I don't want to dive into specifics, but I certainly think it's worth your rental. The story and cast is excellent, and that normally denotes an excellent movie. Gyllenhal, who I normally don't like, turns in an excellent performance as well as the VERY good Hugh Jackman. Jump on board before someone ruins the specifics for you and try to get into an excellent film. Excellent job by all, but the ending does leave you a little unsatifisfied, hence the hindered rating for all the great praise.

Duck Dynasty Guy

I'm amazed a simple comment from a simple man has created such a shitstorm. He's an old redneck who does and says whatever he wants. I feel we got a very TAME version of what we could have gotten knowing he was being interviewed by GQ and odds of failure were incredibly high. Here's Phil Robertson's actual quote: “It seems like, to me, a vagina -- as a man -- would be more desirable than a man’s anus," Robertson told GQ. "That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying? But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical.” “Everything is blurred on what’s right and what’s wrong. Sin becomes fine," he later added. “Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men. Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers -- they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.” Why is that surprising? A guy who lives in the swamps of LA in the middle of nowhere is a religous man who says whatever he wants. He at least goes on to basically quote Johnny Cash in "God is Gonna to Cut you Down" saying a lot of people aren't worthy of heaven in his mind. You can hear this at various churches throughout the world every Sunday if you look hard enough. It was very insensitive to group homosexuality with bestiality, but he also throws in drunkards, swindlers, slanderers, AND male prostitutes. Nobody else gets up in arms about being told their going to hell. If you get offended by Phil Robertson saying these things about your lifestyle, you probably need to re-examine yourself. Now it's wasting everyone's time and A&E is shooting themselves in the foot by suspending Phil Robertson from by far the most successful show they have since the family will not continue without Phil on the show. This is just mass public opinion suicide for all involved. If I were a competing, smaller network I'd jump ALL OVER signing the Robertson family. If I'm TLC (for example) I would certainly be contacting their people. My favorite is his freedom of speech is protected, just not from cable executives. NOBODY is infringing on his rights, but stupidity generally is expensive. You can say whatever you want, there just are consequences. The Robertson's will land on their feet and their devout right-wing crowd will follow them wherever. GLAAD will get nowhere and waste time and money acting like this is a big deal. Nobody wins ANYTHING in this, which is why it's just mass public opinion suicide. Why aren't we smarter than this as a society?

Anchorman 2

I detest seeing comedies in theatres because you will always have some idiots laughing WAY too loud, for WAY too long, and this was of course the case for when I saw Anchorman 2. Overcoming all that, I still had a really good time because this movie is funny. It's funny because it has a great cast. They fall in love with REALLY pushing funny situations as far as possible. It's completely ridiculous, but it's often funny. SPOILER EXAMPLE: Will Ferrell helps raise a shark. There are several things that have no business being there, but it's often funny, so I'll allow it. The film starts out joining Ron and Veronica Corningstone as evening news anchors in New York. Harrison Ford is stepping down as THE nightly news anchor (great cameo) and he chooses Veronica for the job and fires Ron on the spot. Things go sideways for Ron, but before rock-bottom hits there is a 24 hour news network forming and they want Ron to anchor on it. Ron gathers the old gang, hilarity ensues, they get to New York. The jokes are everywhere and come constantly. They have a black women as News Director, so that's cheap laughs. Brick and Kristen Wiig's character are as dumb as possible and fall in love, so there's more cheap laughs. Paul Rudd is back, automatic cheap laughs. The sum of the cheap laughs are enough to carry the film through a weak plot. They do an excellent job of making fun of the state of our current cable news networks, so that's nice. I certainly don't want to ruin any of the laughs, but I'm sure there's just miles of film that's amazing we will never get to see. The filming style is to have a script, but then allow the characters to just adlib the scene a bunch of different ways to see what they like best. We don't get to see Ron talking about blowing a huge load saying "It was like shooting a shotgun into a bucket of white paint", or "That was like the eruption of Krakatoa, only with ejaculate". I read that in Rolling Stone and I feel like we got robbed from a lot of fun with this movie being PG-13. We can only hope for an unrated release on blu-ray later, but who knows. Bottom Line: 7.6 out of 10. It's certainly worth watching, but it will be better to watch it at home without random asshole laughing like he's being tortured via electroshock.

Hunger Games: Catching Fire (NBA Jam shoud probably sue...)

The 2nd installment of the Hunger Games Series (I never read the books) finds our heroine Katniss and "Hero" Peeta back home in District 12. Void of fanfare and the rich, amazing life that was promised after winning the 74th Hunger Games. They aren't in love, or even really seeing each other in any way. Katniss still has something for Gale, the rugged woodsman/factory worker. She still hunts and enjoys the outdoors and apparently saving her family. President Snow (DONALD SUTHERLAND!) visits her at her home explaining that she needs to convince the other districts, and most importantly himself, that she is in love with Peeta. They live 25 yards away, but never speak (so much for life threatening events bringing people together, FUCKING SPEED.) They go on a promotional tour of the other districts to show they are happy and inspire hope and happiness. District 11 is stop #1 where Katniss is supposed to read a prepared statement that Peeta handles. They honor the families of the lost "Tributes", which includes Rhue, Katniss' friend and essentially little sister who dies during the first film. She talks lovingly about Rhue, and how sad she was that she couldn't save her. The speech causes an elderly man to raise three fingers in the air, which promptly causes guards to drag him to the captial steps and get shot in the head. Katniss is appalled and pretty much freaks out. Haymitch, her "mentor" decides to then tell her to follow the rules and not incite rioting. Slowly it becomes more and more apparent that an uprising is a possibility. They call for another Hunger Games for the 75th anniversary, but it's going to be special. Since President Snow wants Katniss dead and gone they drag back the other winners from the other districts from previous years to compete in a special quarterly event of death and awfulness. You meet the other contestants, who are now celebrities and members of the bougouise folk who live in the capital. You meet some of them, they train and get to know each other. The stakes are raised and it's a lot more interesting than the first Hunger Games you got to watch. I was a huge fan since I had no idea what to expect. It really becomes a full story with much more depth than the first film. It's much more than young love trying to stay alive. The addition of Philip Seymour Hoffman is an awesome addition as Gamemaster and the returning cast is still phenomenal. Bottom Line: 8.7 out of 10. If you haven't seen the first one, run out and buy it for $5, watch it, then go to the movie theatres and watch the new one. It's a very interesting story that has an excellent cast and crew with a lot of money behind them. I certainly am looking forward to the final act of this trilogy. P.S. Take a look at Francis Lawrence's directing credits and ask yourself how the fuck he got this job?

Snitch- More like Shit

I decided for some idiotic reason that Snitch was worth watching. The movie is suppposedly based on "real events" where The Rock's dipshit son agrees with his longtime friend to have a box of ecstacy shipped to his house to watch for awhile. He's immediately busted by the DEA and the penalty for housing a few pounds of drugs is a minimum of 10 years. His way out is to snitch on friend's or anyone else dealing a bunch of drugs, which he doesn't really have the capacity to do, since he doesn't know drug dealers, and he outright refuses to roll over on any of his friends who MIGHT be dumb enough to have a few pounds of drug shipped to them to watch. Enter THE ROCK, who RISKS IT ALL to save his son, who is clearly getting raped and beaten regularly in prison. Ol' Dwayne Johnson goes Batdad on it and enters the world of narcotics to get the DEA someone in exchange for his sons freedom. It's ridiculous, John Bernthal is in it, I like Barry Pepper as a crazy undercover agent, but the rest of this is awful. Ben Bratt, Michael Williams (OMAR!!!!!) & Susan Sarandon seem too good for this pile of shit, but I guess not. It's all shitty and unimpressive from top to bottom. It gets completely ridiculous as well with THE ROCK going Rambo even though he's a former truck driver and construction company owner. It's all just stupid and awful. Bottom Line: 2.1 out of 10. Nothing about this movie is really worth watching. Stay the fuck away from this one.

Tanking: Some Thoughts on Everyone Pitching in to Give Up for some Draft Picks

I'm morbidly curious with tanking this year in the NBA, and also strangely the NFL. My favorite NFL team, sadly, is the Jacksonville Jaguars. Nobody wins in the NFL without an elite QB these days, and this draft, a little similar to the NBA draft (Getting there a little later) has a few with that sort of potential. I say potential because predicting NFL superstar QB's if one remembers is a very tricky business. The likes of Tim Couch, Akili Smith, JaMarcus Russell, Ryan Leaf, I could keep going but what's the fucking point, litter the likes of Peyton Manning, Andrew Luck, Aaron Rodgers, etc. Tom Brady was a 6th rounder, Russell Wilson a 3rd, Drew Brees an early 2nd, A-Rod was a very late first rounder, so who knows? I did like the opportunity to be the ones to make the mistake though with the first overall pick, in fact I was planning on it. Now, I have no idea. Marcus Mariota withdrew from the draft, Bridgewater has shown a few more cracks in his game than last year, and there isn't a true consensus franchise QB anymore. Will it really matter if they are 5th overall instead of 1st? What about round 2 and right down the line until round 7? That's certainly better than fighting hard, probably fighting showing great heart and nobility, only to miss the playoffs and draft later, is it? The NBA is actually still shameless about the practice. The Houston Rockets ruined it for future tankers by clearly mailing it in to get Hakeem (Then Akeem) Olajuwon with the first pick. Now there's a lottery, so tanking isn't supposed to be an issue, but it's a greater issue now more than ever. You need not just one, but two superstars to compete in this league, plus a slew of decent role players and big men to be in that upper echelon. Translation, the Bucks aren't even fucking close to being relevant. SO, jump aboard the RIGGIN' FOR WIGGINS sweepstakes and dump your higher priced veterans, clean up your cap, and pray you land one of these young stars and possibly another max deal star in free agency and that= Playoffs and long-term success. This is unquestionably shaping up to be one of the best drafts in NBA history as Wiggins, Randle, Parker, and Smart all seem like can't miss superstars in training and Exum in Austrailia apparently has the ability to hang, or exceed the aforementioned list. Is that the best, OR is it even the ONLY way for small time franchises in cities where superstars would loathe to live and play in (COUGH, MILWAUKEE, HACK, HACK, UTAH) to compete in the NBA? It's really sad that proud franchies like the Boston Celtics mortgage a playoff team, though certainly aging and EXTREMELY unlikely to win a title again this year, and mortgage it for money and draft picks to essentially hit the reset button like a pissed off young kid hitting reset on a Nintendo game after something doesn't go his way, though I never have done that and I'm not old enough to have either... There is absolutely no credit for playing hard to be mediocre. The NBA especially, where over half the league gets into the playoffs FYI, honor in trying to make the playoffs and give yourself "A Puncher's chance" or a "Chip and a chair" and attempt to make a run at a title. I feel the days of the Denver Nuggets over the Seattle Supersonics and the Golden State Warriors over the Dallas Mavericks (8 seeds over the 1 seeds) victories are almost certainly gone. Building a franchise over time with care, hard work, and developing talent seems dead. The Packers can certainly claim to do so (I'm also a Homer apparently), but the reality is without Aaron Rodgers were a fucking chum. I've always had an extremely negative view of tanking since I believe the first time I heard the term was in describing the worst ring of the bullseye in the "mental toughness" bullseye in a tennis video from the 80's during a rain day of tennis practice. It means you sulk, act like a bitch, and play like garbage. It's allowing people less talented to beat you. In the ultra competitive world of professional athletics isn't behavior like that utterly unacceptable? How can it be sanctioned, and essentially encouraged? How can GM be given the green light to destroy a team and throw out a bullshit product that nobody wants to see, including family and close friends of the players, just so you don't have to question the lack of effort of the players on the floor? I think it's not the ONLY way to go about assembling a championship team, but it's certainly the quickest and easiest. I guess .500 is the new .250 for winning percentage and that's all that matters. Parts of this are refreshing, like the days of overpaying for a player who simply isn't good enough for a max contract because they can't win a championship (HEY CARMELO ANTHONY) is going to be looked at under a microscope to a much greater extent. You can't afford to make mistakes like having a fringe star command $20 million/year for 6 years on your payroll. They better be a guy who wins games, or fills the seats. I just can't help be feel a little down about how openly tanking happens, but is discussed in the media, and the ultimate betrayal of an unnamed NBA GM writing an article in ESPN the magazine about it. It's almost glorified. As a fan you feel like it's a new tomorrow when you tank. Your most exciting moment of the season is watching ping-pong balls get drawn by a bunch of old white guys. Does that seem right? Somebody help me out with this one, I'm kind of lost on it.

Dallas Buyers Club

Dallas Buyers Club is the "heroic" tale of Ron Woodruff and his story of contracting HIV, but mainly his fight to heal himself, and in the process a lot of others. It takes place starting in 1985 when HIV was largely still thought of as "the gay plague", but also a death sentence. McConaughy plays Woodruff and dominates it. He's a tough cowboy/drunk/drug using redneck. It's a role he dropped to what had to be around 135 lbs to really own it. He is told he has HIV after a work accident that lands him in the hospital where his blood work comes back REALLY BAD. He is told he has 30 days to live and he utters the immortal "Ain't nothin' on earth that can kill Ron Woodruff in 30 days". What follows is his crusade to find treatments that work and obtaining them, often illegally, from other countries to stay alive. Around 30 minutes in Jared Leto comes into the picture and kills it as Rayon, a cross-dresser who becomes his partner despite their initial distrust & Woodruff's obvious distate for him. They start selling various vitamins, proteins, and experimental drugs to patients against doctor's and FDA orders to help HIV sufferers. Woodruff starts out as essentially a drug dealer, but becomes much more. It's excellent and features performances due for Oscar notice, especially McConaughy and Leto, but Jennifer Garner is also excellent. An amazing story that neither deifies nor condemns Woodruff and his efforts. Bottom Line: 8.9 out of 10. Just an excellent picture that does an amazing job with amazingly tough subject matter. Leto's movie career is back into star mode.

The Counselor

I watched The Counselor at the cheap seats last week because despite whatever it's rating on Rotten Tomatoes, I wanted to see it. The cast is excellent: Brad Pitt, Michael Fassbender, Javier Bardem, Cameron Diaz, and Penelope Cruz. The story follows Fassbender, referred to as "Counselor" by everyone since he is a lawyer and public defendant. He wants to make more money getting into the aluring cartel drug game. Pitt is an old hand and wise man. Bardem is the money and flamboyant club owner/drug dealer. Diaz is Bardem's fling and Cruz is Fassbender's love and fiance. It tries to fill boredom with dialogue that they try to be shocking and unique with, and that's rather disappointing. It mvoes along alright, but it's not fast or exciting by any means. There is some shock and graphic things that are exciting, but it's essentially at this point stuff you see of AMC or FX. A few years ago I think this film would have done a lot better. Bottom Line: 6.6 out of 10. Worth seeing on your own time for limited money. Bardem and Fassbender as especially solid. Shout out to a random Rosie Perez role! Che speek ingleesh good and everything.