How can Phillies fans possibly hold their heads up after watching the team get rid of Cliff Lee because of a refusal to give up Happ and prospects in the deal for Halladay only to ship the same guys to get Roy Oswalt? Nothing against Oswalt, he's just not Cliff Lee. What the fuck are they thinking on this one? Oswalt is the last #1 pitcher on the trading block, but what a slap-dick move to let Lee leave only to pull this shit off.
Albert Haynesworth failed the conditioning test and anyone surprised at this should take note that Haynesworth has never been in shape for training camp in his life. I have no idea who thought throwing money at him would make him care, I knew it was a terrible idea the moment it happened.
I re-watched "The Brotherhood of the Wolf", a French (but not gay) film about a "beast" tearing up the French countryside. Simple premise, but amazing cinematography and great acting/storytelling make this an excellent film. I saw it in high school and left the movie amazed. I'm the proud owner of it because it was like 10 bucks at Wal-Mart and I can't recommend it enough. It's just a great film that introduced us to Vincent Cassel and Monica Belluci. I think it's an incredibly well-done film that if you can read subtitles is for sure worth watching. I have the Director's Cut, but I have no idea what the difference is.
Bottom Line talking: 8.7 out of 10. I honestly may have already written about this, but see the movie and if you're disappointed run in front of a major highway.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Amores Perroes & The Hunted
Amores Perroes is a Spanish film that is a character piece focusing on people's relationships with dogs and each other. It's won some awards and it one of the films you're supposed to see according to critics and whatnot. It's very well done and well acted throughout. You have to read subtitles, so if you can't read or speak Spanish fluently, this isn't for you. The stories are all interesting, though the affair of a married man with children and a model is too long and boring for my taste. I'd recommend this film if you liked Crash, or movies that combine multiple stories. If you really like movies, you should watch the film as it's cinematography and editing are very well done for a low-budget, I'm assuming independent picture.
Bottom Line: 8.2 out of 10. I bought it for 5 bucks at Best Buy and I'm really happy with the purchase. I have a feeling I won't be watching it often, just like Crash, but it's something to see and appreciate because it's film as art, which is very rare.
I finally saw the hunted with Tommy Lee Jones and Benecio Del Toro. Those two carry a pretty good film. I was amazed how much Tommy Lee Jones did physically for this film. There's a good two minutes where he's just running and chasing Benecio. The knife fights are excellent and it's all around solid. It's hard to top Del Toro's quiet intensity that makes you buy he's a killer. Del Toro is your typical ex-assassin trained to kill in the jungles with his bare hands. Tommy Lee is the man who trained him who is a tracker/ greatest outdoorsmen to have ever lived. I never bought Del Toro's civilian life, but besides that distraction it's a really good movie that doesn't get too ridiculous.
Bottom Line: 6.8 out of 10. If you haven't seen it, like I hadn't, I recommend it. I'm sure it's on USA every now and then.
Bottom Line: 8.2 out of 10. I bought it for 5 bucks at Best Buy and I'm really happy with the purchase. I have a feeling I won't be watching it often, just like Crash, but it's something to see and appreciate because it's film as art, which is very rare.
I finally saw the hunted with Tommy Lee Jones and Benecio Del Toro. Those two carry a pretty good film. I was amazed how much Tommy Lee Jones did physically for this film. There's a good two minutes where he's just running and chasing Benecio. The knife fights are excellent and it's all around solid. It's hard to top Del Toro's quiet intensity that makes you buy he's a killer. Del Toro is your typical ex-assassin trained to kill in the jungles with his bare hands. Tommy Lee is the man who trained him who is a tracker/ greatest outdoorsmen to have ever lived. I never bought Del Toro's civilian life, but besides that distraction it's a really good movie that doesn't get too ridiculous.
Bottom Line: 6.8 out of 10. If you haven't seen it, like I hadn't, I recommend it. I'm sure it's on USA every now and then.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
What Doesn't Kill You
Focus pictures, when on, delivers great films on a small budget with a core group of excellent actors. This one boasts Ethan Hawke, Totally under-appreciated Mark Ruffalo (Zach's with me on this one), and the beautiful and talented (rare) Amanda Peet. Donnie Wahlberg should be mentioned as well... kidding. Your standard Focus picture bio-pic of good fellas in the Southy paht of Bahstahn. All they know is robbing, beating, stealing. Great acting highlights the story of the grind of two-bit gangsters and their want for something more. Mark Ruffalo plays a family man who after a 5-stretch (5 years in prison), tries to go straight realizing his family is more important than "the big score". Hawke is his best friend/partner in crime. It's just an excellent character study and Ruffalo, as always, brings the wood. He's from Kenosha, random great fact.
Bottom Line: 7.7 out of 10. I'm glad I paid 3 bucks it from Hollywood Video, even though it took like two months to get here. I recommend a viewing. It's not your Disney bullshit, just a solid film that's all heart and soul and no CGI. Somebody help me kick my bargain DVD addiction.
Bottom Line: 7.7 out of 10. I'm glad I paid 3 bucks it from Hollywood Video, even though it took like two months to get here. I recommend a viewing. It's not your Disney bullshit, just a solid film that's all heart and soul and no CGI. Somebody help me kick my bargain DVD addiction.
Inception: WHAT ARE YOU DOING GO AND SEE IT NOW!!!!
I honestly can't remember seeing a movie that is on par with Inception in terms of being so well put together in every aspect. There are no glaring holes or WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!? moments in this film. The acting, down to the supporting cast, is just superb. This was quite possibly the best film I've seen at the theaters in my life.
The premise is that our subconscious holds secrets, memories, and ideas that can be taken from us when we are most vulnerable, in our sleep. Your memory has different levels (4) of subconscious and the deeper you go, the more intense/ real, and in their case permanent the extraction/inception becomes. Di Caprio and Levitt's characters are the best at what they do, taking memories from billion dollar companies for other companies exploitation. The stakes are raised when they are asked to plant an idea, not extract it, from Cillian Murphy's character. Nolan keeps his cards close to his chest, but nothing crazy happens like an M. Night Shamalan suckfest. It is so well written, directed, edited, and acted throughout that I have a hard time thinking it isn't as perfect a film as I've ever seen. It doesn't have the epic tale of a Schindler's List for example, but it tells a great story as well as I've seen. I can't really say enough good thing other than beware because it's a little complex, but I had no trouble following it (keep in mind I'm a genius though).
Bottom Line: 9.8 out of 10. I basically want to give it a 10, but because it's not as epic in story as Schindler's List (that's the best example I can think of) I simply can't go with a 10. See this film immediately, it's UNREAL.
I also saw Predators, the supposed proud return of the franchise. I was thinking before seeing the movie what Adrian Brody was thinking taking on this kind of meaningless meathead role, but I thought to myself: If I were him, would I want to be the same candy-ass character he was in the Pianist the rest of my career? He bulks up and does a great job as the badass Supreme of the group. Here's a thought for you; Make a spreadsheet of the characters and put down when you think they'll die in order, or if they'll survive. Take some bets, compare, and I think it'll add some fun to the film. Various soldiers/ murderers are selected by Predators to be hunted on a giant nature preserve for sport. It's pretty similar to most Predator films and not too special. Acting is decent enough, it's just not all that terrifying/gory as I thought it would be. It's good enough, just don't pay money to see it.
Bottom Line: 6.6 out of 10. Don't pay money, but it's worth 1.5 hours of your time to see this. My bet idea is genius by the way. If you're too dumb to create a scoring system, just ask.
Jennifer's Body: YUP, watched it to see Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried. Megan Fox is astoundingly beautiful and that's the highlight right there. Diablo Cody wrote, so imagine Juno quippy dialogue inserted into a horror film. It's pretty shitty simply put. It's not special in any respect other than pure eye candy. Not even going to waste time talking about the story.
Bottom Line 3.7 out of 10. Not good in any respect, watch the "highlights" on Youtube and call it a day.
The premise is that our subconscious holds secrets, memories, and ideas that can be taken from us when we are most vulnerable, in our sleep. Your memory has different levels (4) of subconscious and the deeper you go, the more intense/ real, and in their case permanent the extraction/inception becomes. Di Caprio and Levitt's characters are the best at what they do, taking memories from billion dollar companies for other companies exploitation. The stakes are raised when they are asked to plant an idea, not extract it, from Cillian Murphy's character. Nolan keeps his cards close to his chest, but nothing crazy happens like an M. Night Shamalan suckfest. It is so well written, directed, edited, and acted throughout that I have a hard time thinking it isn't as perfect a film as I've ever seen. It doesn't have the epic tale of a Schindler's List for example, but it tells a great story as well as I've seen. I can't really say enough good thing other than beware because it's a little complex, but I had no trouble following it (keep in mind I'm a genius though).
Bottom Line: 9.8 out of 10. I basically want to give it a 10, but because it's not as epic in story as Schindler's List (that's the best example I can think of) I simply can't go with a 10. See this film immediately, it's UNREAL.
I also saw Predators, the supposed proud return of the franchise. I was thinking before seeing the movie what Adrian Brody was thinking taking on this kind of meaningless meathead role, but I thought to myself: If I were him, would I want to be the same candy-ass character he was in the Pianist the rest of my career? He bulks up and does a great job as the badass Supreme of the group. Here's a thought for you; Make a spreadsheet of the characters and put down when you think they'll die in order, or if they'll survive. Take some bets, compare, and I think it'll add some fun to the film. Various soldiers/ murderers are selected by Predators to be hunted on a giant nature preserve for sport. It's pretty similar to most Predator films and not too special. Acting is decent enough, it's just not all that terrifying/gory as I thought it would be. It's good enough, just don't pay money to see it.
Bottom Line: 6.6 out of 10. Don't pay money, but it's worth 1.5 hours of your time to see this. My bet idea is genius by the way. If you're too dumb to create a scoring system, just ask.
Jennifer's Body: YUP, watched it to see Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried. Megan Fox is astoundingly beautiful and that's the highlight right there. Diablo Cody wrote, so imagine Juno quippy dialogue inserted into a horror film. It's pretty shitty simply put. It's not special in any respect other than pure eye candy. Not even going to waste time talking about the story.
Bottom Line 3.7 out of 10. Not good in any respect, watch the "highlights" on Youtube and call it a day.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Zombielanded
I actually wasn't all that big of a fan of Zombieland. Maybe it's because Jesse Eisenberg being a huge nerdy candy-ass for 1.5 hours doesn't bring me much joy. That or Woody Harrelson being a weird red-neck quasi-badass wasn't too great for me either. It's really more comedy than anything, but I never really laughed out loud. It was entertaining enough, paired with the greatest cameo ever with Bill Murray. I just didn't think it was too special. Everything is decent enough, but nothing is that great. If it's on cable or something, then watch it, but that's all I recommend on this one.
Bottom Line: 6.1 out of 10. Don't go out of your way for this well-reviewed, but not too special film.
I am in utter shock over Mel Gibson losing his mind screaming at his girlfriend and saying things that would make most sailors cringe. This guy is certifiably insane at this point. He is prone to rage-like fits, drinks too much, and is for sure at least verbally, if not physically abusive. I can't seem to think that Mel Gibson is going to be getting much work in the near future. If he does, that studio is going to be getting the wrong kind of press, so maybe some indie flick will take a shot at Mad Max, but I can't think that's likely. What a fall from grace for Agent Riggs.
Bottom Line: 6.1 out of 10. Don't go out of your way for this well-reviewed, but not too special film.
I am in utter shock over Mel Gibson losing his mind screaming at his girlfriend and saying things that would make most sailors cringe. This guy is certifiably insane at this point. He is prone to rage-like fits, drinks too much, and is for sure at least verbally, if not physically abusive. I can't seem to think that Mel Gibson is going to be getting much work in the near future. If he does, that studio is going to be getting the wrong kind of press, so maybe some indie flick will take a shot at Mad Max, but I can't think that's likely. What a fall from grace for Agent Riggs.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
ESPY 's= SHITTY
SO, someone explain to me how Isner vs. Mehut and their endless match of 70-68 in the 5th set was better than the career starts for Favre, or Federer's 15 major titles? I just can't fathom how it was a better achievement. It's just AWFUL that something like that could happen. Playing for a REALLY long time is not generally valued in sport. UCONN vs. Syracuse was a great game in 5 OT's, but was it the best achievement in college basketball that year? ABSOLUTELY NOT. It's meant to be an individual achievement, something to honor individual excellence. I watched this fucking match and was stoked, but for fuck's sake there's NO WAY that was a great achievement. A better achievement would've been winning 6-0, 6-0, 6-0 and not fumble fucking around with your returns.
I am just astounded at how fucking dumb it is to consider that a great achievement. Two dudes played for a long time because neither can return serve for shit compared to their must greater serves. On top of that let's not hide the fact that it as made possible only because Wimbledon does not allow a tiebreak for it's final, deciding set. A 9.5 hour match, NOT COOL.
Live blog from here on out since this IS FUCKING RETARDED
8:48pm, let's fucking OVERPLAY Jim Joyce's mistake a little more and fucking milk this clusterfuck for all it's worth.
8:48pm I hope they just start giving each other randy-handies out there.
8:49pm- Who wrote that retarded joke for Joyce? I want Galarraga to punch him in the face and fuck this stupid thing up.
8:49pm- Best moments in sport this year? George Steinbrenner's death in the running? OHHHHH, too soon for sure.
8:50pm- The ESPY's= everything that's wrong with ESPN. Pure commercialized garbage that is more about pop culture than the sports themselves. I personally blame ESPN for making The Sporting News bi-weekly and less in-depth and more bullshit articles.
8:51pm- Sweet achievement, the USA soccer team choking to a lower seed in the world cup? Why do we have to act like we give a fuck about soccer once every four years? There's no national pride involved with this bullshit.
8:52pm- Best moment? Jim Joyce doing all the real talking during the award ceremony.
8:52pm- USA soccer? How fucking dumb are we? We tied an inferior opponent to advance another round and be embarrassed by a third world country. Yippee fucking skippy.
8:53pm- Who the fuck has been inspired by Landon Donovan? I'm more inspired by him having a hot wife/girlfriend despite being 5' 5" than anything he's done on a soccer field. Fuck soccer. I can't wait until it disappears for another two years or so.
8:55pm- Would going to Stanford because they have great women's sports be the single dumbest reason to go to a University?
8:56pm- How in the fuck does the Piranha movie get enough advertising money to afford this shit?
8:59pm- ESPN is going to become to sports what MTV is to music, if it hasn't happened already. God, I hate that thought.
8:59pm- While we are getting Matt LePay for Capitol Ford, what's the rest of the USA getting?
8:59pm- I changed to "The Fly" and Jeff Goldblum was creepy even when he was young.
9:00pm- Where is Lisa Leslie going to work now that the WNBA is over? not a lot of places wanting to hire a 6'6" intimidating woman I'm guessing.
9:00pm- Who the fuck is this AWFUL girl singing? She better have won this for the "Make-A-Wish" foundation or something. She sucks ass.
9:01pm- Awesome, Twilight finds it's way to the ESPY's. That makes sense on a sports show, they did play shitty baseball in the first one.
9:01pm- Tracy Morgan: Drunk or sober?
9:02pm- I liked Tracy Morgan as Nelson Mandela. It reminded me of Dave Chappelle's "Nelson Mandela Boot Camp" skit. "Do you not think Nelson Mandela knows what this is?"
9:04pm- Eminem, welcome back to being fucking awesome. You've made it kid, the ESPY's.
9:04pm- Biggest upset? How about Butler in general? Where the fuck did those kids come from?
9:06pm- Thanks Northern Iowa for upsetting my bracket and me.
9:07pm- Ali Faroukmanesh, welcome to your last 15 minutes of fame before you are merely a funny, obscure reference for me to toss around.
9:07pm- Odds of a riot in Cedar Falls right now over this?
9:08pm- Clint Black? Who the fuck is this guy's agent? He pulled quite a coup here.
9:09pm- On the same note how the fuck did Seth Meyers get this gig? Being the 8th best person on SNL?
9:10pm- Seriously, someone name me a fucking Clint Black song off the top of their heads?
9:10pm- Zach Efron & January Jones? Here we go random make-out at the ESPY's to put them on par with MTV for dumbass shenanigans.
9:11pm- Shenanigans is a real word, and I spelled right the first time.
9:11pm- Was Bode Miller's greatest accomplishment winning tournaments wasted? I honestly think so. That, or if he qualifies for the US Open in tennis like he's trying to. I'll bet anyone 20 bucks someone under 20 beats him.
9:13pm- Odds Shaun White and Zach Efron hang out? 4/1 on it.
9:13pm- Thank you USA? Nice touch.
9:14pm- 2nd random person flash, Dara Torres. First one, Emannuelle Chriqui from Entourage. She's gorgeous, but I'm still confused on that one, like how the fuck she's with "E" on the show? Dude's made for Vinnie Chase's balls to rest in his mouth when they stand next to each other.
9:16pm- Gatorade's new work-out plan will only cost you $10 a game/workout, how can you afford not to?
9:16pm- Thank you Old Spice for keeping comedy in commercials.
9:17pm- Switched back to the Fly to watch Geena Davis in a shoulder padded blazer, I want that brought back, immediately.
9:18pm- Another fucking Piranha movie commercial? FML. Ving Rhames doesn't turn down anything apparently.
9:19pm- Arthur Ashe was truly amazing as an athlete/humanitarian/world-changer.
9:19pm- Brett Favre is going to upstage Ashe and his award by announcing he'll be playing this year. Just wait for it.
9:20pm- Narrated by Keifer Sutherland, some of the best words in our language. Narrated by Morgan Freeman barely eclipses it. If Keifer was doing it as Jack Bauer I retract that statement about Freeman. He makes me want to start smoking menthol's like a fiend.
9:21pm- Why do tornado's never hit big cities? Anyone know about that one?
9:22pm- I wish ESPN did a piece like this every day. Bob Costas can introduce it every time. He made me want to cry, cheer, and laugh before the NBA Finals games in the 90's.
9:23pm- FYI, I used to hate running out of the tunnel, a slow jog, or a Remember the Titans like chant would've been approved over the crazed sprint.
9:24pm- Even the 911 dispatcher was crushed by the news.
9:25pm- Being from a small town, this is a nightmare that people would talk about forever.
9:27pm- That's a little greater class shown by the Thomas' in comparison to the Joyce vs. Galaragga suck-fest.
9:28pm- Tearing up for sure on this one. Damn near crying.
9:29pm- So well done, just so well done.
9:30pm- Incredible stuff with the Thomas family.
9:31pm- What a great speech of humility and heart. That's a strong kid right there.
9:32pm- Thank God I will leave the ESPY's with something positive. This seriously bailed out the ESPY's from the rest of the shit I witnessed.
9:33pm- I want this speech on youtube immediately following this. SO WELL DONE.
9:36pm- Jackie Brown is my new "flip to when commercials are on" channel. Sam Jackson is simply awesome. He's made for Quentin Tarantino. He's as intense, only without the hallucinogenic drugs as Tarantino.
9:37pm- Why did he put the pony-tail and shitty goatee on Sam Jackson? Mike Keaton playing a minor role. Pretty swell.
9:39pm- Best female olympic athlete? Can it get more specific? Can I be put in for best Jacksonville Jaguars fan living in the Madison area next year?
9:40pm- Vuvuzela, burn in hell for eternity.
9:40pm- Will Ferrell, please make this funny before I get pissed off.
9:41pm- Not too pleased so far.
9:44pm- Really never laughed at this thing at all. Please make it stop. OH, Janell Monet, or whatever the fuck. AWESOME, I honestly thought it couldn't get worse.
9:45pm- That's why Emannuelle Chirqui was on earlier? Pairing her with Mahk WAHLbahg is the best idea EVAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
9:46pm- I don't like her talking. God I hope that wasn't scripted and Mark Wahlberg was saying Emannuelle Chriqui is going to get dirty in Entourage just to further promote the only thing going good in his life.
9:48pm- Is Diana Taurasi a lesbian? I always assumed so, but I really hope not. Maybe we could've hung out in OWI class together.
9:48pm- Does Serena even put those things on her mantle?
9:49pm- Lindsey Vonn? Didn't see that one coming. Once again America fucks up.
9:49pm- I honestly thought after she called Wahlberg "Marky Mark", he was going to punch her in the face. She's probably too tall.
9:50pm- She has a husband? Her fan base was just reduced by 5/6.
9:50pm- Early favorite for best team: UCONN Women's huskies. All they do is kick the shit out of everyone else, what other team dominated as such?
9:54pm- Thinking about getting NCAA 2011 because running the option brings me SO much joy. I think I'd try to take the Air Force to a BCS Bowl.
9:55pm- PIRANHA 3D, SON OF A BITCH.
9:57pm- That parody of The Blindside was just awesome. Peyton Manning just keeps winning me over sadly. I used to just hate him, but after SNL and his commercials it's just extreme dislike.
10:02- Brooklyn Decker is too gorgeous to be real. Andy Roddick proves he's better than Roger Federer at life, fuck tennis if you go home to that at night.
10:02pm- You think Lewis is nervous? Notice Favre doesn't thank God?
10:04pm- Sam Jackson introducing an award= EPIC
10:05pm- Robert Evans, another voice for narration created by smoking cigarettes like Edward R. Murrow.
10:06pm- This was supposed to end at 10:00pm FYI ESPN
10:07pm- Cancer treatments are damn near as awful as the disease itself.
10:09pm- Please be seated? He's ready to get down to brass tacks here.
10:10pm- Dirty secret not talked about enough is that chemo is so harsh it makes you sterile. It's poison thrown into you with the thought in mind that cancerous cells eat the poison faster than healthy cells. You just can't have so much chemo that it kills enough of your healthy cells to kill you. Brilliant isn't it?
10:12pm- I'm all for cancer research, but the Government matching donations dollar for dollar? All causes would really enjoy that, but for being a few trillion dollars in the hole that just doesn't seem like the best idea.
10:13pm- Once again, why wasn't this done at 10pm again?
10:18pm- Luke Olson, you were once in Old School, what the fuck happened to your career? You're garbage.
10:20pm- Drew Brees has 3 ESPY's tonight? Is that on par with the Godfather winning 7 Oscars?
10:21pm- Thanking his O-Line, that's a smart man.
10:22pm- Why is Kenny Chesney announcing best team? Clint Black & Kenny Chesney? How did country music pull this shit off?
10:24pm- I retract the UCONN Statement, I'm thinking the Saints got this one in the bag. I should've known better than to bet on a women's team.
10:25pm- Kobe's still a douche bag
10:25pm- Yup, the Aint's and Breesus. If you pay for that many plane tickets and accommodations you better win.
10:27pm- Who the fuck is Janelle Monet? Seth Meyers, your career is only downhill from here kid.
I am just astounded at how fucking dumb it is to consider that a great achievement. Two dudes played for a long time because neither can return serve for shit compared to their must greater serves. On top of that let's not hide the fact that it as made possible only because Wimbledon does not allow a tiebreak for it's final, deciding set. A 9.5 hour match, NOT COOL.
Live blog from here on out since this IS FUCKING RETARDED
8:48pm, let's fucking OVERPLAY Jim Joyce's mistake a little more and fucking milk this clusterfuck for all it's worth.
8:48pm I hope they just start giving each other randy-handies out there.
8:49pm- Who wrote that retarded joke for Joyce? I want Galarraga to punch him in the face and fuck this stupid thing up.
8:49pm- Best moments in sport this year? George Steinbrenner's death in the running? OHHHHH, too soon for sure.
8:50pm- The ESPY's= everything that's wrong with ESPN. Pure commercialized garbage that is more about pop culture than the sports themselves. I personally blame ESPN for making The Sporting News bi-weekly and less in-depth and more bullshit articles.
8:51pm- Sweet achievement, the USA soccer team choking to a lower seed in the world cup? Why do we have to act like we give a fuck about soccer once every four years? There's no national pride involved with this bullshit.
8:52pm- Best moment? Jim Joyce doing all the real talking during the award ceremony.
8:52pm- USA soccer? How fucking dumb are we? We tied an inferior opponent to advance another round and be embarrassed by a third world country. Yippee fucking skippy.
8:53pm- Who the fuck has been inspired by Landon Donovan? I'm more inspired by him having a hot wife/girlfriend despite being 5' 5" than anything he's done on a soccer field. Fuck soccer. I can't wait until it disappears for another two years or so.
8:55pm- Would going to Stanford because they have great women's sports be the single dumbest reason to go to a University?
8:56pm- How in the fuck does the Piranha movie get enough advertising money to afford this shit?
8:59pm- ESPN is going to become to sports what MTV is to music, if it hasn't happened already. God, I hate that thought.
8:59pm- While we are getting Matt LePay for Capitol Ford, what's the rest of the USA getting?
8:59pm- I changed to "The Fly" and Jeff Goldblum was creepy even when he was young.
9:00pm- Where is Lisa Leslie going to work now that the WNBA is over? not a lot of places wanting to hire a 6'6" intimidating woman I'm guessing.
9:00pm- Who the fuck is this AWFUL girl singing? She better have won this for the "Make-A-Wish" foundation or something. She sucks ass.
9:01pm- Awesome, Twilight finds it's way to the ESPY's. That makes sense on a sports show, they did play shitty baseball in the first one.
9:01pm- Tracy Morgan: Drunk or sober?
9:02pm- I liked Tracy Morgan as Nelson Mandela. It reminded me of Dave Chappelle's "Nelson Mandela Boot Camp" skit. "Do you not think Nelson Mandela knows what this is?"
9:04pm- Eminem, welcome back to being fucking awesome. You've made it kid, the ESPY's.
9:04pm- Biggest upset? How about Butler in general? Where the fuck did those kids come from?
9:06pm- Thanks Northern Iowa for upsetting my bracket and me.
9:07pm- Ali Faroukmanesh, welcome to your last 15 minutes of fame before you are merely a funny, obscure reference for me to toss around.
9:07pm- Odds of a riot in Cedar Falls right now over this?
9:08pm- Clint Black? Who the fuck is this guy's agent? He pulled quite a coup here.
9:09pm- On the same note how the fuck did Seth Meyers get this gig? Being the 8th best person on SNL?
9:10pm- Seriously, someone name me a fucking Clint Black song off the top of their heads?
9:10pm- Zach Efron & January Jones? Here we go random make-out at the ESPY's to put them on par with MTV for dumbass shenanigans.
9:11pm- Shenanigans is a real word, and I spelled right the first time.
9:11pm- Was Bode Miller's greatest accomplishment winning tournaments wasted? I honestly think so. That, or if he qualifies for the US Open in tennis like he's trying to. I'll bet anyone 20 bucks someone under 20 beats him.
9:13pm- Odds Shaun White and Zach Efron hang out? 4/1 on it.
9:13pm- Thank you USA? Nice touch.
9:14pm- 2nd random person flash, Dara Torres. First one, Emannuelle Chriqui from Entourage. She's gorgeous, but I'm still confused on that one, like how the fuck she's with "E" on the show? Dude's made for Vinnie Chase's balls to rest in his mouth when they stand next to each other.
9:16pm- Gatorade's new work-out plan will only cost you $10 a game/workout, how can you afford not to?
9:16pm- Thank you Old Spice for keeping comedy in commercials.
9:17pm- Switched back to the Fly to watch Geena Davis in a shoulder padded blazer, I want that brought back, immediately.
9:18pm- Another fucking Piranha movie commercial? FML. Ving Rhames doesn't turn down anything apparently.
9:19pm- Arthur Ashe was truly amazing as an athlete/humanitarian/world-changer.
9:19pm- Brett Favre is going to upstage Ashe and his award by announcing he'll be playing this year. Just wait for it.
9:20pm- Narrated by Keifer Sutherland, some of the best words in our language. Narrated by Morgan Freeman barely eclipses it. If Keifer was doing it as Jack Bauer I retract that statement about Freeman. He makes me want to start smoking menthol's like a fiend.
9:21pm- Why do tornado's never hit big cities? Anyone know about that one?
9:22pm- I wish ESPN did a piece like this every day. Bob Costas can introduce it every time. He made me want to cry, cheer, and laugh before the NBA Finals games in the 90's.
9:23pm- FYI, I used to hate running out of the tunnel, a slow jog, or a Remember the Titans like chant would've been approved over the crazed sprint.
9:24pm- Even the 911 dispatcher was crushed by the news.
9:25pm- Being from a small town, this is a nightmare that people would talk about forever.
9:27pm- That's a little greater class shown by the Thomas' in comparison to the Joyce vs. Galaragga suck-fest.
9:28pm- Tearing up for sure on this one. Damn near crying.
9:29pm- So well done, just so well done.
9:30pm- Incredible stuff with the Thomas family.
9:31pm- What a great speech of humility and heart. That's a strong kid right there.
9:32pm- Thank God I will leave the ESPY's with something positive. This seriously bailed out the ESPY's from the rest of the shit I witnessed.
9:33pm- I want this speech on youtube immediately following this. SO WELL DONE.
9:36pm- Jackie Brown is my new "flip to when commercials are on" channel. Sam Jackson is simply awesome. He's made for Quentin Tarantino. He's as intense, only without the hallucinogenic drugs as Tarantino.
9:37pm- Why did he put the pony-tail and shitty goatee on Sam Jackson? Mike Keaton playing a minor role. Pretty swell.
9:39pm- Best female olympic athlete? Can it get more specific? Can I be put in for best Jacksonville Jaguars fan living in the Madison area next year?
9:40pm- Vuvuzela, burn in hell for eternity.
9:40pm- Will Ferrell, please make this funny before I get pissed off.
9:41pm- Not too pleased so far.
9:44pm- Really never laughed at this thing at all. Please make it stop. OH, Janell Monet, or whatever the fuck. AWESOME, I honestly thought it couldn't get worse.
9:45pm- That's why Emannuelle Chirqui was on earlier? Pairing her with Mahk WAHLbahg is the best idea EVAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
9:46pm- I don't like her talking. God I hope that wasn't scripted and Mark Wahlberg was saying Emannuelle Chriqui is going to get dirty in Entourage just to further promote the only thing going good in his life.
9:48pm- Is Diana Taurasi a lesbian? I always assumed so, but I really hope not. Maybe we could've hung out in OWI class together.
9:48pm- Does Serena even put those things on her mantle?
9:49pm- Lindsey Vonn? Didn't see that one coming. Once again America fucks up.
9:49pm- I honestly thought after she called Wahlberg "Marky Mark", he was going to punch her in the face. She's probably too tall.
9:50pm- She has a husband? Her fan base was just reduced by 5/6.
9:50pm- Early favorite for best team: UCONN Women's huskies. All they do is kick the shit out of everyone else, what other team dominated as such?
9:54pm- Thinking about getting NCAA 2011 because running the option brings me SO much joy. I think I'd try to take the Air Force to a BCS Bowl.
9:55pm- PIRANHA 3D, SON OF A BITCH.
9:57pm- That parody of The Blindside was just awesome. Peyton Manning just keeps winning me over sadly. I used to just hate him, but after SNL and his commercials it's just extreme dislike.
10:02- Brooklyn Decker is too gorgeous to be real. Andy Roddick proves he's better than Roger Federer at life, fuck tennis if you go home to that at night.
10:02pm- You think Lewis is nervous? Notice Favre doesn't thank God?
10:04pm- Sam Jackson introducing an award= EPIC
10:05pm- Robert Evans, another voice for narration created by smoking cigarettes like Edward R. Murrow.
10:06pm- This was supposed to end at 10:00pm FYI ESPN
10:07pm- Cancer treatments are damn near as awful as the disease itself.
10:09pm- Please be seated? He's ready to get down to brass tacks here.
10:10pm- Dirty secret not talked about enough is that chemo is so harsh it makes you sterile. It's poison thrown into you with the thought in mind that cancerous cells eat the poison faster than healthy cells. You just can't have so much chemo that it kills enough of your healthy cells to kill you. Brilliant isn't it?
10:12pm- I'm all for cancer research, but the Government matching donations dollar for dollar? All causes would really enjoy that, but for being a few trillion dollars in the hole that just doesn't seem like the best idea.
10:13pm- Once again, why wasn't this done at 10pm again?
10:18pm- Luke Olson, you were once in Old School, what the fuck happened to your career? You're garbage.
10:20pm- Drew Brees has 3 ESPY's tonight? Is that on par with the Godfather winning 7 Oscars?
10:21pm- Thanking his O-Line, that's a smart man.
10:22pm- Why is Kenny Chesney announcing best team? Clint Black & Kenny Chesney? How did country music pull this shit off?
10:24pm- I retract the UCONN Statement, I'm thinking the Saints got this one in the bag. I should've known better than to bet on a women's team.
10:25pm- Kobe's still a douche bag
10:25pm- Yup, the Aint's and Breesus. If you pay for that many plane tickets and accommodations you better win.
10:27pm- Who the fuck is Janelle Monet? Seth Meyers, your career is only downhill from here kid.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Welcome to Maimi: Benvenito NO NO NONONONOOOOOOOOOOOO
Lebron is going to the best place to "win", Miami. Once again Pat Riley pulls a coup and reloads himself for more titles. I am honestly shocked that this happened in hindsight. I can't figure out what made Lebron and Bosh think Miami was the best place to start winning at. Wade is a great player, but there really isn't anything else floating around to help. Arroyo, Haslem, Beasley, Chalmers, Richardson are not names that inspire fear into opponents. If LeBron really cared about winning he would have signed the mid-level exception with the Celtics, or Orlando Magic.
This is about money and winning. He got his money, which was expected, but I honestly don't think Miami is the best place to win immediately at. There are better established teams, some with money, that posed a much better option. I think if you add James and Bosh to the Clippers and Bulls, two franchises that could sign them, they are significantly better than the Heat are with them. It also blows me away that LeBron has been playing for 7 YEARS. He gave Cleveland the best years of basketball in their history, but now he has ripped their souls away. He's set the franchise back immeasurably. Cleveland may never be that good again at basketball for our lifetimes. This team is going to command national attention from now until the end of next season. They are going to be televised and talked about way too much.
It's too bad that there was off-season shenanigans. I don't like this working together bullshit rather than fighting each other. I hate Kobe Bryant, but when there was talk of him leaving the Lakers when he was driving them into the ground, he stood touch, resigned Phil Jackson, and devoted himself to winning and not taking the most shots possible without being beaten to death by your own teammates.
It is all about winning championships, but doesn't this seem to cheapen it? It's the Yankees buying a championship, only NBA style. I will admit I want to see this three-headed triumvirate of basketball greatness. This is a great experiment with free agency being what it is. Can you "buddy up" with a few other great players and make a run at it? I'm excited, but also worried about how much this will be talked about for the next few hundred days. Makes me feel bad for the Bucks.
This is about money and winning. He got his money, which was expected, but I honestly don't think Miami is the best place to win immediately at. There are better established teams, some with money, that posed a much better option. I think if you add James and Bosh to the Clippers and Bulls, two franchises that could sign them, they are significantly better than the Heat are with them. It also blows me away that LeBron has been playing for 7 YEARS. He gave Cleveland the best years of basketball in their history, but now he has ripped their souls away. He's set the franchise back immeasurably. Cleveland may never be that good again at basketball for our lifetimes. This team is going to command national attention from now until the end of next season. They are going to be televised and talked about way too much.
It's too bad that there was off-season shenanigans. I don't like this working together bullshit rather than fighting each other. I hate Kobe Bryant, but when there was talk of him leaving the Lakers when he was driving them into the ground, he stood touch, resigned Phil Jackson, and devoted himself to winning and not taking the most shots possible without being beaten to death by your own teammates.
It is all about winning championships, but doesn't this seem to cheapen it? It's the Yankees buying a championship, only NBA style. I will admit I want to see this three-headed triumvirate of basketball greatness. This is a great experiment with free agency being what it is. Can you "buddy up" with a few other great players and make a run at it? I'm excited, but also worried about how much this will be talked about for the next few hundred days. Makes me feel bad for the Bucks.
Random things Thursday
I watched Ong-Bak, Tony Jaa's crazy kung-fu movie that was $5 at Best Buy, AKA my crack cocaine. Tony Jaa is simply once in a lifetime kung-fu greatness in a tiny frame. The guy is simply astounding and if you like fighting I'd highly recommend youtubing Tony jaa, you won't be disappointed. The movie was OK actually, but far from good. Marginal talent besides the unthinkably athletic Jaa kicking everything's ass.
Bottom Line: 6.2 out of 10. It really only scores points for Jaa's amazing skills.
LeBronathon 2010 is going on and I'm going to be just sitting here following it live:
Legler as well as everyone else is completely sold of LeBron creating the Three Miamiteers with Wade and Bosh, but lets talk about Miami's other players:
Mike Beasley- It's possible with the infusion of greatness he may decide to care about basketball, I'm just not buying it.
Carlos Arroyo- He's your starting point guard, but just a puppet.
Mario Chalmers- Your other starting point guard. Likely they should just opt to bring a shooter in, but that would force Wade to guard a PG all game and that probably isn't such a great idea.
Udonis Haslem- He knows how to win and will be a huge roll player for this team when it will need to defend two good post players with Bosh and Haslem. FYI he guarded Dirk quite a bit during their title run.
Quentin Richardson- Q is still in the league, but I'll be betting he's going to be traded for someone younger/cheaper. If Q raises his %39.7 from TripleLand, he will be invaluable to a team that's going to be just begging people to hit open 3's.
I'm just saying besides Haslem I really don't think there's a decent player on that squad. What happens if any of the SuPeR 3 get into foul trouble? I just think there are a lot of holes in this great plot to make a super team.
Bottom Line: 6.2 out of 10. It really only scores points for Jaa's amazing skills.
LeBronathon 2010 is going on and I'm going to be just sitting here following it live:
Legler as well as everyone else is completely sold of LeBron creating the Three Miamiteers with Wade and Bosh, but lets talk about Miami's other players:
Mike Beasley- It's possible with the infusion of greatness he may decide to care about basketball, I'm just not buying it.
Carlos Arroyo- He's your starting point guard, but just a puppet.
Mario Chalmers- Your other starting point guard. Likely they should just opt to bring a shooter in, but that would force Wade to guard a PG all game and that probably isn't such a great idea.
Udonis Haslem- He knows how to win and will be a huge roll player for this team when it will need to defend two good post players with Bosh and Haslem. FYI he guarded Dirk quite a bit during their title run.
Quentin Richardson- Q is still in the league, but I'll be betting he's going to be traded for someone younger/cheaper. If Q raises his %39.7 from TripleLand, he will be invaluable to a team that's going to be just begging people to hit open 3's.
I'm just saying besides Haslem I really don't think there's a decent player on that squad. What happens if any of the SuPeR 3 get into foul trouble? I just think there are a lot of holes in this great plot to make a super team.
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