Tomlinson and Westbrook, I guess you should update the ol' resume

WOW, how rough to work your ass off for 9 years for franchises you undoubtedly helped shape into the perennial NFC & AFC Championship contenders and now be unemployed. They are both aging running backs, but rarely at age 30 are you over the hill. LT has been declining, and Westbrook rarely healthy, but are both teams better off without them? Jumping into an uncapped year we have already seen salary dumping occurring. This is the NFL pulling what the NBA is doing for next year. It's the most unceremonious firings I have ever witnessed of franchise players. LT was the face of the Chargers, and now because Nate Kaeding can't hit field goals when it matters, he doesn't have a job.

Keep in mind LT is #2 all-time in rushing TD's and 3rd all-time in total TD's. He's only 30 with hopefully a long life ahead of him, but the world of sports is anything but normal. LT and Westbrook are old, used up men in football. A running back hits 30 and they are a shadow of a cheaper, faster, younger guy behind them. McCoy will take over for the Eagles, and apparently Sproles will be taking over for the Chargers, though I'm thinking they will rely heavily on the pass next year. The NFL keeps moving along and they will be signed to nice contracts with other teams, but the glory of playing your entire career for one team is no longer a possibility unless you're a franchise QB apparently. I am still floored about Tomlinson. Nobody works harder and is a better person by most accounts, but that isn't important for the Chargers. Business wins over what's right, SHOCKER.

This really scares me for this uncapped year as the local team, the Packers, lack a team owner to throw cash around. My favorite team, the Jaguars, are the smallest market and have no money to throw around. Getting double-fisted by the year of insane salaries, awesome.

Depressing stuff

Had another take a step back and look at things moment today at work.
We have an employee named Art who has been with our company around 10 years, probably more. I came to Madison and he was always a friendly face with infinite patience and a joy about life, especially since he's an 80 year-old stroke survivor. His wife of 57 years recently passed away and it got me thinking about 57 YEARS together? How amazing despite all that happened around them that for 57 years they had each other through thick and thin. World War II until now they were in love. It's just a beautiful, polarizing thought about how life is supposed to be. It's just horrifying thinking now Art is alone. He has children and grandchildren, and even two great-grandchildren, but the women that was his high school sweetheart during World War II is now gone. I honestly hope that he can cook for himself among other things. He's smart and capable, but he probably hasn't had to cook for himself, or for all I know even go grocery shopping, for the last 20 years. It just eats me up thinking about it.
Just getting it off my chest kids. I promise more diatribes or movie reviews to follow.
On a light hearted note HOW HOT ARE THE WOMEN CURLERS FOR CANADA, DENMARK, AND MOST OF THE USA?

Quick thought

I never found it fair how someone in Track and Field and swimming was capable of bringing home a handful of medals in the olympics, or on a smaller level at State competition, while people on a team sports can only win one medal. It begs the question are people like Apollo Anton Ohno and Mikey Phelps a little overrated in comparison to the best player on a great team?

I don't think it's fair that individual standouts can bring home a bunch of medals while everyone on the handball team fights for one. I guess it's just the way it is though. How many medals can a figure skater win? ONE. Biathalete? ONE. Why isn't there 10 figure skating competitions of varying length, or one for jumping and another for artistic dancing? Let me remind you I fucking hate figure skating, just so we are clear I'm just trying to make a point.

Mike Phelps, greatest olympian ever, or lucky guy who God put on this earth to swim? I'd take the guy who captains 3 gold medal polo teams over Phelps, but that's probably just me. The complexities of team sports outweigh individual accomplishment in my eyes, but I guess I'm more accustomed to team sports perhaps. Just a little brain food for people ready to think Apollo Anton Ohno is cool or something.

Ode to Mike Emerick

Mike Emerick is the best play-by-play announcer there is. Good night and good luck to everyone else. I love Al Michaels and Bob Costas, but they just aren't Mike Emerick.

You may be asking yourself who the fuck Mike Emerick is, but just watch some Olympic hockey and there's a 90% chance you'll hear the guy. He's the person who makes hockey tolerable with his knowledge and genuine love and excitement for the game. I always feel bad for the color commentator who has the best seat in the house to watch Emerick lay down the knowledge. He is a wealth of knowledge in hockey, which has names that people from their home countries can't pronounce, but Emery handles it with ease.

I often find myself dropping in on a hockey game and I will watch some of it permitting Emerick is in the booth. He's pure mastery at his craft. It's like watching Charlie Daniels play some fiddle, it's just astounding.

Favorite calls of all-time: SHOT, SAVE MADE VAN BEEEEESBROOK off a drive from LINNNNdroSSSSS. Emerick during the all-star game is a man possessed by demons. He handles complex names and lightning fast action with ease. If you appreciate commentary, or watching someone who is amazing at what they do, drop in on some Olympic hockey and let Emerick entertain you.

I'm also loving me some curling. seems like joining a league is on the horizon at some point in my life. I've got some terms down, I'm also in the market for the gorgeous blond on the US team who apparently lives in the Madison area. If anyone knows her, put in a good word for me.

The Definitive How I Met Your Mother Drinking Game

This has been quite a long time coming, but here we are.

Abridgment: This game is to be played with a stiff mixed drink, not a beer. That's the only way this thing is going to get you tanked. Rather than play around and assign two drinks for this and three for that and complicate it, just make yourself something strong and play it as is.

DRINK Whenever:

There is a flashback/flash forward scene. Editor's Note: This was added after round 1 occurred and we lacked drinking during the show.

Ted says "How I met your Mother", or "Kids"

Canada is mentioned

Marshall sings anything

Minnesota is mentioned

Lilly's kindergarten class is mentioned

"Suit Up" is said

"Legendary" is said

Marshall and Lilly kiss

Telepathic conversations

Someone breaks up, including Barney

Someone says "Have you met my friend..."

Robin says "Literally"

Anytime they get in a vehicle driven by Raji

Barney says "What Up"

Barney mentions his blog

Bob Saget voices over something, excluding the intro stuff.

Barney makes someone give him a "high five"

Marshall says "Lawyered"

Ted mentions or wears his favorite blazer

any outside movie reference, extra drink if it's Star Wars

Whenever someone is slapped

Barney says a pick-up line

Ted corrects somebody

Hockey is talked about

Someone says Cougar

Whenever someone has sex, excluding Marshall and Lilly

Anyone swears

Lilly gives a disapproving look

Barney says "Classic"

Marshall starts crying

Anyone says Architect

Everytime someone says "McLaren's"

Shots:
LEGEN WAIT FOR IT DARY
Lilly and Marshall have sex

This is subject to change and constant updates. For now, I think we have enough to make this into a shit-show, which is what I'm looking for.

Edge of Darkness and Sherlock Holmes

I know, Sherlock Holmes is old and all, but I just saw it and that's all that matters.

Sherlock- Robert Downey Jr. rocks as Sherlock Holmes. He is everything you wish Sherlock could be. Too smart for everyone else, funny, a smartass, yet can still fight and not look like a dude from High School Musical doing it. Jude Law is an awesome Watson, the casting is perfect. Rachel McAdams is eye candy, but actually talented, which is terrific. The movie I really enjoyed and thought it was very well done. It dibble-dabbles with the occult, which is always a bad idea, but Holmes outsmarts it, so that makes me happy.

The premise is Holmes and Watson track down a "serial" killer who has murdered 5 women and is on his way to #6 when Watson and Holmes dish out a shit-kicking and save her. Criminal is "hanged", returns from the grave to wreak havoc and have great charisma. It's very well done and Un-Guy Ritchie like with random tales intertwining into one. SEE THIS FILM

Bottom line: 8.8 out 10. Would score higher, but there's a lot of what the fuck moments that I don't particularly buy, even after the scientific explanation.

EDGE OF DARKNESS: Let me preface this by saying DO NOT SEE IF YOU AREN'T PREPARED FOR FUCKED UP VIOLENCE. Mel's daughter doesn't get shot and killed as much as utterly eviscerated by a shotgun blast at near point blank. Mel Gibson is unreal and completely believable as a Lenny Dysktra tough BAHSTIN (Boston) cop who is unfazed by anything. You don't really get much background on him and the story clips right along (example his daughter is splattered within 8 minutes). Mel Gibson carries the film like he has to and, despite being bat shit insane, he is AWESOME. His daughter worked for a large, independent biological/nuclear weapons company who is REALLY suspect. Mel tries to unravel her murder and get his questions answered, and make the fuckers who did it pay, which is the best parts of the film. if you like the thought of Mel kicking ass and taking names, not giving a fuck, see this immediately. I really liked it because I don't mind violence and love Mel Gibson tattooing fists on people.

Bottom line: 8.6 out of 10. I liked it more than Holmes, but I'm sure most others won't. I'm a little more desensitized than most I'm guessing. If I were rating it solely on myself I'd put it at 9.2 out of 10. I was a HUGE fan.

Thank you Breesus

I'm actually really happy for Drew Brees and the epic failure that is New Orleans for their big win. The Bayou folks have been insanely lucky to have two big sports stars for their teams in Chris Paul and Drew Brees who actually care about their city. The Saints have long been the doormat for the NFC and to get a group of players to talk about the city and how much it means to the people who live there, not just how much it would mean to them was extremely refreshing.

I love the feel good story of Brees and how his shoulder came out of the bottom of his socket and the magic hands of Dr. James Andrews fixed him up and despite long odds and the Dolphins downright refusing to sign him to a contract, he recovered to lead the downtrodden ones to ultimate victory (Longest sentence without real punctuation ever). No need to cry for the Colts though, they'll resign Manning to the biggest deal ever and be in the same spot next year barring the impossible, Manning getting injured and Jim Sorgi failing epically.

The lack of decent commercials was really disappointing to me. I really didn't laugh at much of anything besides Betty White playing football, that was hilarious. I was surprised that Pepsi abstained from throwing a few million into the pot and having some crappy teen celebrity throw something together with them. Miller Lite didn't bring the wood at all either, which was shocking. GoDaddy.com kept up their played out shtick of hot women with Danica Patrick in provocative situations, BRILLIANT, but not shocking enough anymore. No unknown really stepped up and knocked it out of the park, though Audi's Green Police was really good, but calling them an unknown is rather dumb.

I just bought Inglorious Basterds, Public Enemies, and I Love you Man for 24 bucks at Blockbuster. Used DVD's, definitely my drug of choice. I have There Will be Blood, Strangers by Orson Welles, and Das Boot coming in the mail for $9.91 shipping included. Why? I really have no idea considering I have probably 8 movies I have bought, but never watched since owning them. I really need to pursue a career as a film critic and use them as a tax write-off.

Why Would Anyone Stay in College?

I'm just throwing this thought out there as I watch UNC play Maryland (Note: if UNC loses I will cry) WHY WOULD A COLLEGE BASKETBALL PLAYER GOOD ENOUGH TO BE DRAFTED IN THE FIRST ROUND STAY IN COLLEGE? I can't figure out who would advise anyone they cared about to stay in school and turn down the NBA calling. My cousin and I were just talking about it, and couldn't figure out a reason to stay in school.

You have a VERY finite amount of time to play basketball professionally. If you are very lucky and very talented you can stretch a career out ten good years, perhaps more. In any case a first round draft pick is guaranteed a few million dollars regardless of anything else. You don't have to step foot on the hardwood and you're a millionaire. If you wait a year you take away one of those precious years in which you'll be responsible for earning a living for yourself and family for the rest of your life. That year you stay at school is you taking a couple million dollars and setting them on fire.

It's a whole bunch easier to get your college degree when you're forty vs. playing in the NBA when you're forty. What I'm trying to say is you can always go back to school, the NBA will never call again.

Being in college is a great time, not denying that, but you know what else is a good time? BEING A 20 YEAR-OLD MILLIONAIRE. I think you can forgo the formative years of college to just flat-out CAKE UP (getting rich for the over 30 crowd). I'm fairly certain it makes more sense to become a millionaire than take Sociology 101 and American History 140, or whatever joke classes you prefer.

Who better to teach you skills than an NBA coaching staff comprised of the best of the best (in all cases except for the LA Clippers)? Kelvin Sampson coached Oklahoma and Indiana (Disgracing himself and others with constant recruiting scandals) and his job now is... TO SHOOT 1,000 JUMPERS A DAY WITH BRANDON JENNINGS. That's the kind of help you get in the NBA, I doubt there's a college team that can match the personal attention and quality of help that will be lavished to you upon entering the NBA.

I can't honestly believe you can look someone in the eye that's a first rounder and tell them to stay in school if you care about their well-being at all. There are examples of this failing, like Joe Forte. Joe Forte was a freshman phenom to North Carolina who jumped ship into the NBA after one year and was drafted in the second round by the Celtics and was out of the NBA two years later. The problem with Joe Forte however was not his decision, but the fact he was a 6' 1" shooting guard who can't possibly guard players at that position in the NBA. It was lack of ability, not experience that doomed Forte. There are other examples if someone feels like picking holes at this, but all I'm saying is that if you have the talent and guarantee of being a first rounder, you fucking do it.

Open for debate from naysayers

Random Praise

This is a new thing I'm not used to, but I'm going to say some nice things about Georgetown basketball.

John Thompson III has very quietly put together excellent seasons of Georgetown basketball all while keeping out of the headlines for the wrong things, despite being right by Washington D.C. They have put together a bunch of quality seasons lately and Thompson has handled all the media circus of being John Thompson Sr. kid coaching the same basketball team daddy did with amazing grace, like royalty. I just noticed Georgetown quietly snuck to No. 8 and have a chance to possibly rise to the top 5 with a win over a relatively untested Villanova team. I stayed away from betting on this game on my streak for the cash because I'm not sure on either team. I love that Georgetown just plays tough D, old-school basketball where they bang and grind it out rather than run-and-gun. It is disconcerting that Syracuse piss-pounded them however. Bottom line: Georgetown is successful again and that's quite a feat considering how quickly they fell off the face of college basketball with the retirement of Thompson Sr.

Shout outs to Serena Williams for being unreal and beating Justine Henin, who needs props for coming out of retirement to smack around everyone else in the women's game besides the unreal Serena. Truly, if Henin had any physical size she would be in the pantheon with Steffi Graf. Serena bludgeons the other females with incredible physical ability and the desire to win like all great champions posses. Henin has all the tools and game. Her backhand is something I would murder for. She's in great condition, but when you're 5' 3" and 100 pounds, you can't hit with the same velocity as a Serena. Henin would've been unstoppable in the early 90's. She even has a solid net game. She has a chance at Wimbledon because of that, but that's where Venus and her great serve will pistol whip everyone else again.

Federer gets no shout-out, he's just simply the best to play the game who I already talked about a few posts ago.

Just trying to pay credit where credits due. I'll be revisiting this random praise thing on a regular basis I feel. I think it's a good thing in the words of Martha Stewart.

Legion, or Paul Bettany Fucking Shit up as I'll remember it

Caught Legion on Thursday, this would be the apocalypse movie taking place at a diner in the middle of the desert. Paul Bettany is outstanding and basically saves this thing. Dennis Quaid and Tyrese are in this thing and they play what has become typecast roles for them. Quaid: down and out loser/drunk. Tyrese: Reformed gangster, just trying to do the right thing :( Awful, both of them. SO, the film has Michael, God's #1 dude trying to save mankind from God himself, who is trying to exterminate the world from humans. He rounds up a bunch of guns and head's to the place where our next savior is being born to a bumpkin waitress, who I happen to find stunningly beautiful (Adrianna Palicki). Basically kid lives, we live, kid dies and its curtains for humanity. Kate Walsh plays outstanding eye candy, I seriously love those Cadillac commercials with her in them. She is Cougartacular.

Editors note: Lucas Black (Or as I think of him the little kid in Slingblade, or the QB in Friday Night Lights) is in it and sucks ass as well. Tallying at home 3 shitty performances and 1 gem from Bettany.

Bettany is badass, but also I totally believed that he cared about humans. He's the only reason to see this film. That, and an 80 year-old really sweet lady say YOUR FUCKING BABY IS GOING TO BURN. I'd watch it for sure when it's on cable, or even rent it. It's pretty entertaining.

Bottom Line: 6.8 out of 10 Definitely watch, if for no other reason to enjoy Paul Bettany. That sounds way too gay, but I'm leaving it.

Finished Bill Simmon's fucktastic book of his lifelong erection for the Boston Celtics. This fuck is SO vain that he insist that on his "If earth were to play aliens for the fate of mankind" team he'd have KEVIN MCHALE ON IT. He somehow reasons to himself that the 1986 Kevin McHale is better than every other player besides MJ, Bird, Magic, Pippen, Kareem, Walton, Wade, CP3, and Duncan. He even puts him ahead of Lebron in this thing. What the fuck do you have to be on to put Kevin McHale ahead of Lebron James. He better not be able to sleep at night.

Fun fact: I'm on an enormous oatmeal stout kick that can be quenched by Ale Asylums stout and Great Dane also makes a mean stout. No idea where this is coming from, but that stuff is just amazing. That, and 7.8% ALC by volume, so it's similar to ripping 4 light beers in the same amount of time. OUTSTANDING.

Random great fact: Just bought all the American Pie classics for 10 bucks at Best Buy in the value pack and Fletch, Happy Gilmore, and Mallrats for ten bucks too, VALUE PACK FOR SURE. Cheap movies are without a doubt my crack-cocaine. My really depressing addiction that I throw money at for temporary happiness.

Fuck Bill Simmons with an AIDS soaked stick

I'm furious right now after putting in 700 some pages of reading THE BOOK OF BASKETBALL by Douchebag McCocksucking Celticslover. I've chocked on him putting Robert Parish and Kevin McHale WAY too high in his "Pyramid" of the greatest 96 players. It has pissed me off, but it's fine. The ultimate blasphemy has occurred however when Fuckface Coastie put the 1986 Celtics ar the greatest NBA team ever. I expected him to pick some random 60's Celtics team with Russell, but NO. He goes into 5 pages to defend his decision, but most ridiculous is thinking that the 97' Bulls would have trouble guarding the 86' Celtics. Robert Parrish isn't going to go off on anyone, fuck the fact that it'd be Luc Longley. McHale would get his ass dominated by Dennis Rodman, like every other post player Rodman has played D against. Pippen is ALL OVER Bird, and MJ and a hobbled Ron Harper can certianly handle DJ and Ainge, enough to make them useless if need be.

Somewhere in the moronic reasoning of a homer spewing bullshit on a national level it isn't mentioned that this Celtic team would have to guard THE Michael Jordan. The player no more than 50 pages ago he mentioned is unequivocally the greatest player ever. The one who couldn't be conquered in the 90's. For some reason the 86' Celtics that he put up 63 on as a 21 year-old would be able to contain him in during his best "team" years. I had to put the book down again and pick up Outliers again and read how Malcolm Gladwell defines success.

The book is incredibly interesting because he looks at purely the facts and does not let anything else get in the way. Gladwell has an incredible resume that included writing for the NY Times and now the New Yorker. He's gaining a lot of acclaim as an author with a different point of view. It's a lot more enlightened, and will force you to think about things differently. It's one of the reasons that I am refusing to read fiction anymore, at least for awhile. I'm going to knock out Outliers, and then One-Night Stands with American History, so I can learn even more useless information to recite on command and weird everyone else out.

Roger Federer and why can't I sign a deal with Satan with similar benefits?

Roger Federer breezed through to another major in Australia. He destroyed Andy Murray, who was just clipping along until he ran into the beast from Switzerland. Nadal was just amazing two years ago, but it's a simple fact that you can't play like he does and stay healthy. He just absorbs too much abuse on all his joints, especially his knees. It was said that his knees are that of someone a decade older, and I think that's being generous. The PTI boys were debating who could challenge Federer with Nadal failing to be able to get himself near 100% and the correct response is nobody. There isn't a player on the men's side that can beat Federer unless Roger stops working hard at tennis.

Federer's greatness is derived from the simple fact that he is an amazing athlete. He covers the court like a clay court player much shorter. He floats around the court in an effortless manner that allows him to be in position to hit winners on shots that other players couldn't even get to. Nadal could transition from defense to offense in the blink of an eye, but there is no other player who has the game to be able to force Federer to hit backhands like Nadal. Del Potro bludgeoned Federer into a tough win at the US Open, but he clearly didn't build on that momentum this offseason. We have our great hope in Andy Roddick, but if he hasn't figured it out yet, it isn't going to happen. Roddick can push him at Wimbledon just because his serve can be untouchable, but a victory would still be shocking. Federer can roll to as many majors as he feels like winning as long as he decides to keep trying and not just be a stay-at-home dad. It's just disturbing to watch him not play ALL that well, and just demolish Andy Murray. It's unreal to think that we have probably 5 or so years to watch Federer maintain this level and just crush people.