Brewer Boner

We can celebrate the Brewers paying up to our expectations. A young team, kicking ass, that is still not FULLY healthy. It's hard to not be looking toward the future with great excitement. The bullpen is not entirely healthy, but they are putting Saito on the 60-day DL, which isn't a good thing, but they are getting there. Morgan will be an upgrade over Gomez at the plate when he comes back on Friday. Hart is finally healthy and putting on a show. I think Kotsay may start playing some 3rd and first instead of the outfield to occasionally spell Prince and McGahee. The pitching staff is really flourishing and if someone goes down, Estrada has proven he's rock solid in spot starting detail. The only shadow lingering over the entire thing is will this be the last time Prince Fielder will be in a Brewer jersey? Everyone else around him is signing extensions, ready to build something great together. Does that mean anything to Prince? How close can the Brewers come to free-agent money and will it be good enough? Will another playoff appearance this season, or perhaps a playoff run, be enough to make Prince want to stay in Milwaukee? It's only going to get worse as the season progresses.

Tyson Chandler constantly gets horse-fucked on fouls called against him.

I brought up a statement on facebook, Jason Kidd: Greatest point guard ever.
As expertly pointed out by Stutz, Magic Johnson would have to be considered the best point guard ever. I struggle because Magic missed a decent amount of time with HIV related problems and really didn't age that well. Stockton is a great choice, but I feel that much of his career is defined by Malone and without him his career would not have the same quality and I think that is undeniable. Isiah Thomas is another great choice, pointed out by Ginger, but I have to mention the same thing I did with Magic, his career went violently downward and he was never heard from again after 1992. Kidd meanwhile has always been a winner on various teams. He is currently 9th in all-time made 3's, despite that being a weakness for most of his career. He carried a bad Nets team to the Finals by himself. Kidd is 3rd in all-time assists, soon to be 2nd as he's only 124 behind Mark Jackson. Magic is 4th in 2 less season averaging the mind-blowing 11.2 APG, but with the showtime Lakers that Kidd would have certainly put up gaudy numbers with himself. Stockton is the overwhelming #1 in assists, but shockingly has a dominant grasp on steals as well with over 700 separating Michael Jordan at #2 from himself. Kidd is number 7, but will be #4 next year with only 112 steals separating him from Mo Cheeks at #4. Here's where Kidd ascends though, he's #67 in career rebounding. Isiah and Magic get props for the rings, but I struggle to think of a year Kidd had an equivalent supporting cast as most of his career was spent making scrubs way more money than they should have in their NBA careers. I just thought about adding Oscar Robertson to the mix, but fuck that, this is already too long.

Bottom Line: I'd have to take Magic as best PG ever, best PG career might be up in the air if the Mavs steal a title or two while Kidd and Dirk both have pulses still, but maybe that's just blinded by my hatred for Stockton.

Faith in Basketball Renewed

While the NFL is content to shoot itself in the face this year, basketball has enjoyed a boom. Anyone who has ever argued about the quality of college basketball being better than the NBA needs to watch one game of the playoffs, especially the Heat vs. the Bulls. Those teams would beat any college team EVER by 30 points. The quality is obscene. It is a battle for points every night. The NBA is experiencing a boom in quality of stars. The talent has been deluded from there being too many teams for the amount of talent, but the field has leveled. We've watched an 8 seed beat up the 1 seed, then push the 4 seed to the limit. You see "selfish" superstars playing defense like their families lives depend on it. If you are not watching the NBA playoffs on a nightly basis, check yourself.

15 years of failure

Why can't the WNBA stop hemorrhaging money? Why can't we, as a society, pull the plug on the WNBA? I'm totally fine with professional women's basketball, but give up televising it, marketing it, and playing it in huge venues. You would have to pay me to go to a WNBA game, the amount would probably be around $100. If the NBA didn't have the NBA's financial support, this whole charade would be over. It's the equivalent of digging a hole, throwing money (millions of dollars) into it, then lighting it on fire every year for 15 years. It's a monumental failure. It's the same reason that college athletes can't get paid, because most college sports puke money out while men's college basketball and football bring home cash from huge TV contracts. You can't pay JUST men's basketball and football players money, so nobody gets anything and Title IX destroys any chance at true parity by forcing women's sports to get equal everything as men's sports, but minor detail, there is NO women's sport on the planet that is equal to football in cost, participation, or revenue. This forces men's wrestling, swimming, tennis, baseball, and track & field to get cut to lower men's participation so numbers look equal and therefore, Title IX compliant.

I'm just preaching now, but it's ridiculous to make men's and women's sports "equal". I am 100% behind women's sports, they just aren't on par with men's sports. Why would it be unfair for them to receive less money and funding since they lose a lot more money than their male counterparts?

Black Swan

I finally got to see Black Swan, which I really wanted to see due to the enormous Oscar hype. Natalie Portman deserves props for doing a great job of embodying a perfection-crazed (though I imagine most are) ballerina. Vulnerable, delusional, way too thin for my taste, and obsessed. She lives with her super creepy and insanely over-protective mom played very well by Barbara Hershey. The supporting cast is very strong with Vincent Cassel, the French dude from Oceans Twelve, Mila Kunis, and Winona Ryder, who does well as an aging dancer who is being shown the door in a rather unceremonious and unwanted fashion. Portman gets the lead in the Black Swan despite Cassel's characters insistence that he worries that she can't play the Black Swan because she can't let herself go and be vulnerable, seductive, and imperfect. Portman is driven to insanity trying to force herself into the Black Swan role and push herself out of her comfort zone. Portman, despite the recent controversies about her not dancing that much, really does a very good job, though I am a layman, of dancing. Impressive acting highlights the, as my buddy Nate noted, "Lifetime movie on steroids" that Black Swan is. As a man I merely thought, that bitch is crazy, and that was it. I didn't really get in depth with it. I thought it was good, but after the Oscar fuss I thought I'd get more. It's worth a watch, but don't expect a life-altering movie of immense emotional power.

Bottom Line: 7.8 out 10. Great acting, good story, I'm a dude so I wasn't THAT impressed.

I got to see Arrested Development for the first time and noticed how much I was missing. A supreme cast of individual talent thrown together and written for superbly. I am thinking the next time I see the whole season for 20 bucks I'm scooping it up. The show really propelled Michael Cera as the super awkward, nerdy kid. Jason Bateman as the sensitive, but sarcastically funny guy. David Cross is hilarious, he would be in anything, but his weird Doctor/hippy character is perfect. Will Arnett is awesome as a failed magician and weird dude. Jessica Walters, the voice of Mother in Archer, is awesome as the angry and uncaring mother to a dysfunctional family of idiots whose failure is accelerated greatly by their father, Jeffrey Tambor, being thrown in prison. Bateman tries to hold the idiotic family together to hilarious results.

The Brewers are all over the board as always and can never fire on more than 2 cylinders. Very happy with LuCroix, Weeks, Braun, Marcum, recently Axford, Fielder, and that sums it up. Not a lot of consistency anywhere, but McGahee and Gomez simply need to hit the ball better. Gomez is completely fucking lost at the plate. He probably should be bunting every other at bat. He flails at pitches that are low and away ALL THE TIME. He swings entirely too freely for someone with that much speed and he walks as much as Christopher Reeves from 2004-2008. Mcgahee needs to figure something out because it's not working. I'd REALLY like him to pull the ball sometimes because he pushes everything and that can't be good. Hart needs to get into mid-season form nowish because runs need to be scored. I feel Betancourt's defense was better than advertised and his bat was what realistically should have been expected, hopefully 20 homers, 70 RBI's and a .250 average. If Hart and Mcgahee return to last years form, this is definitely a playoff team in a pretty weak, all of the sudden, NL Central.

The NBA has two great series to look forward to. The Thunder are no longer the up and comers, but the here and nows. The Mavericks come off a huge emotional high sweeping the defending champion Lakers. The Mavs are by far the oldest team around and their lack of athleticism is going to get VERY interesting from here on out. The Heat-Bulls series should be a war after the Heat took the first game right on the chin. I refuse to believe Spolestra (too lazy to see how to spell his name)is a real coach. Thibodeaux will certainly coach circles around him, but I also refuse to believe the Bulls will get that kind of effort out of everyone again. I'm going Heat vs. Mavs in the finals, Heat in 6. I think it's a terrible prediction, but I'm going to assume Wade and James are made of more than what they showed in Game 1 and I firmly believe that kind of star power can't be denied.

NHL I need to try to pay more attention to, but it just loses out to basketball on a nightly basis. This article was written in descending order of sports importance. I watch Brewers, NBA, then NHL, so it leaves very little room for NHL viewing.

Deadliest Catch

Big fan of Deadliest Catch. It's crazy to think about what those guys go through to bring home crab. I have no idea if I know somebody who could hack it out there for an entire season. I can't fathom how shitty it is to be out there for days at a time. I love the competition between captains and deckhands that keep things volatile and on edge. The captains are almost all grizzled guys who have been out there since they were teenagers hacking out a living. It forged the way for new reality TV shows like Ax Men, Swamp People, and Sons of Guns. Slice of life shows that showcase unique people and talents of hard workers. There are more pioneers besides Deadliest Catch, but that is a ratings MONSTER. It knocked over the NBA Playoffs and everything else for Tuesday night supremacy. It also showcases cable televisions growing popularity. Network TV has very few staples to rely on anymore. The NBA and NHL Playoffs are not on regular networks. When NCIS and the Law & Orders fall off I would be REALLY worried if I were network execs. Modern Family is the only non-cable show I remember in recent memory that I've thought is good, or have been compelled to watch regularly. I don't understand how something with so many more resources can fail with such regularity. It has become clear it really isn't about having a "star", but a rock-solid cast. The few shows I watch: Sons of Anarchy, Modern Family, How I Met Your Mother, The Office, The Community, they all gain strength in numbers and excellent characters. It isn't Jerry Seinfeld and friends as much as a collective group of fairly equal characters. You will have more important characters, but everyone holds their own. It's the only way to be, I'd like to think we've gotten smarter, but I doubt that's it since Swamp People and Ax Men do OK and those guys can't possible read at higher than a 3rd grade level. I really don't know the reason, I guess rock solid casts aren't a secret since other sitcoms have used it for years like Cheers and M*A*S*H, but I really feel the lack of a central character has become much more vital to a shows success. I'm probably talking completely out of my ass.

Side note: The West really seems to have 4 teams competing for the championship while the East has the Heat playing above everyone else CLEARLY. They are a complete match-up nightmare and with LeBron and Wade both motivated as can be, except LeBron's defense is still fucking garbage for the most part, they are SOOO tough. Bosh is still an afterthought, but one who was a 20-10 guy for the last 4 years.

I have failed to get into the NHL playoffs, which I am disappointed about. I really can't justify watching hockey over the Brewers and the NBA, so I merely hop in at a few select times in between games and I have not been into it at all. I am almost certainly missing out, but I contend I will still watch the Stanley Cup when Mike "Doc" Emrick lends his golden voice to make hockey exciting.

The Kids are Alright (At acting)

So I watched the Kids are Alright with some great acting. Annette Benning did a great job as the masculine, bread-winning lesbian, which was a HUGE departure from what I recognize her as. Julienne Moore was same as usual, solid and pasty white. The kids do a decent job to bring it along and show emotion. I am a huge Mark Ruffalo fan, probably because he's from Kenosha and AWESOME, but he's amazing in the film as a sperm donor who has two children with the lesbian couple of Moore and Benning. They reach out to him and he accepts and genuinely strives to be part of their lives. He gains immediate acceptance from Moore, Benning is slower to jump on the bandwagon. He does eventually win everyone over, especially Moore, who he start banging while she works to landscape the backyard of his restaurant. I ended up feeling pretty bad for Ruffalo's character who realizes how much he yearns for a family, but has never put in the effort, but DID like having two pretty cool teenage kids hang out with him and look up to him. He "falls" for Moore, who really was just looking for someone to fuck and not a real relationship, which was exactly who Ruffalo was looking for. Ruffalo is displayed as the villain and gets shut-out, which is unfair. Good acting, fairly regular and unspectacular slice of life film.

Bottom Line: 7.2 out of 10. Good for when you're sitting around doing nothing on a Sat. morning, but I wouldn't actively search it out.

Salt of the earth and some random thoughts

Salt was a movie where Angelina Jolie is a CIA spy who may or may not be a Soviet double agent. The movie moves quickly along through more and more insane stunts and bullshit until you arrive at the sort-of end. They clearly wanted this to be like a Bourne movie, but you just don't really give a damn throughout. Liev Schreiber is in it as well and does a solid job as always. I just don't buy a lot of the insane stunts and bullshit Jolie pulls off with ease. Why we love the Bourne movies is that they don't get Commando out of control with insanity. He does really cool shit, but you buy into the fact that it is possible. Jolie rolls through and kills 12 Russian super-agents herself. She's a woman, so fist-fights with men aren't going to go in her favor in real life, since any dude would just throw her into a wall until she stopped moving, she seriously weights like 130 pounds. It has entertaining parts, and actually the plot holds together pretty well, I just didn't buy into it.

Bottom line: 6.2 out of 10. If you want to see an action movie with a decent plot, give it a shot.

NBA playoffs- It is an absolute privilege to watch Chris Paul play right now. He is playing at a different level than everyone else on the court, including Kobe Bryant. He's simply unstoppable. The Lakers throw different looks at him, or double him, and he always finds the open man, or simply makes them pay for leaving him defended by a mere mortal man like Kobe Bryant. CP3 is shooting 57% and put up an insane triple-double of 35, 15 assists, 12 boards (I think, too lazy to fact-check). The Hornets don't have David West, that would be the dude who scores most of their points, but they are right with the Lakers. The Grizzlies are looking like beasts against the Spurs. I'm taking the Heat over the Celtics, and whoever wins that series will take it to the Bulls in the Eastern conference final. I would like to think whoever comes out of the Magic/Hawks series can beat the Bulls, but neither team is putting it together enough to beat the Bulls, and nobody on either team can guard Rose. The West is a lot more interesting anyway with upsets and close games everywhere. They are looking at war in every series out West. I'm really starting to think Nene would be a great pick-up for a real contender next year with another decent big man. He defends 4's and 5's, shoots 62%, can pass well, and hustles hard. He really needs a change of venue where he could be the #2 big man and a guaranteed mismatch every night (Get him Bucks, get him).

The Brewers pissed away a possible sweep of the Astros in fantastic fashion on Saturday with a complete lack of judgment by all baserunners in the 8th inning where they had 0 outs and men on 2nd and 3rd, but managed to shit the bed into a near triple-play. They pitch Kintzler entirely too much for such a young kid. It'll be nice to get Saito back, but they need to throw Mitre more in the short-term. Maybe Hawkins is still serviceable as well when he returns, but I think they can make a run at it even if he isn't. I keep holding out for a healthy Greinke, Hart, and Morgan to alleviate all our ills, but we will still have an enormous hole at shortstop and wherever Bettancourt hits. He has not impressed me at all and calling him a power-hitting shortstop is like calling Kyle Fransworth a finesse pitcher. At least he normally makes contact with the ball and puts it in play, but besides that I can't say many nice things about him. The real question will be how the Fielder situation heats up, because even if they are playing well the questions will only intensify as the season progresses. Re-signing Braun will go a long way in pushing Fielder to ink a deal, but with Boras as an agent, he's looking to cake up, not play for a small market team.

Side note: Angelina Jolie could never hide in disguise. She has WAYYYY too distinctive features for that bullshit. They dress her as a dude and it is utterly ridiculous.

Random Thoughts

The Brewers/Cubs "rivalry" is out of hand. Proximity makes it certain that there will always be enough fans of both teams at either game to create problems. The hatred makes no sense. We don't knock each other out of the playoffs year after year, or really have anything to be proud of in the last 1/4 century that we should feel special about. Instead of watching in peace, alcohol fueled stupidity wins out. One fan from a team will say something, then the response from the slighted teams fan, wash, rinse repeat. I fell into this after seeing a facebook post talking about how the Brewers, 155 games out from a meaningful game, had to be feeling the pressure of a slow start, and it would CERTAINLY effect their play. I responded immediately with a simple, concise, "Fuck you". Stupidity kept after it as there were posts back and forth which I reminded said individual that the Brewers have some serious injuries, but more importantly THERE ARE 155 MORE GAMES IN THE BASEBALL SEASON. I just don't get where this hatred comes from, we should hate the Cardinals more since they walk away with the NL Central instead of our respective teams.

The Masters coverage is doing a great job of having different experts chime in, and great coverage of ALL the players within a few strokes, but commercials this close to the end is simply unacceptable. I hate the fact that Tiger Woods was in contention. That man is a fucking piece of shit. We can say classier words, but anybody who is out banging whores and prostitutes at EVERY turn while his gorgeous wife raises children is a fucking piece of shit. I don't care what profession you are in, if you live your life like this I hope you get gang raped by a roaming pack of gorillas, or wildebeests, or anything capable of delivering a savage raping.

The NBA and NHL playoffs are soon to be underway, marking a great period in time for sports. Baseball is fresh and relevant, NHL suddenly becomes relevant and the quality of play increases, same goes the the pumpkin-pushers of the NBA. There will be great nights of TV, and the DVR will be expected to work OT to keep me happy. I will be flipping channels like a madman in between pitches, faceoffs, and free throws to keep updated on live action as much as possible. I am pretty excited to get into hockey and basketball for the first time this year. I find out things that real fans have known the whole year, like Derrick Rose is unstoppable. I love to see the teams that coast through the regular season and NOW start playing team defense and offense. This is basketball at the highest possible level.

Brewers?

I was incredibly frustrated to see the Brewers get swept by the Reds, especially because two of the games were winnable. Watching Will Nieves fail twice to hit important sac flies cost the Brewers the home opener. Failures to manufacture runs and hit situationally is a plague on the Brewers. Hope has flashed the last couple of games, and the returns of Greinke, Lucroix, and Hart all will be BIG upgrades to those positions. It's easy to be down-trodden seeing Neives fail so brutally, it made me realize it's a different manager inheriting the same players who can't drive in a run when it absolutely HAS to happen. Axford seems to have it figured out, meaning leaving 93MPH fastballs belt high is UNACCEPTABLE. I'm liking this team, even the late additions of Mitre and Morgan seem to be likely to pay dividends. Another glaring weakness is the inability to work a count and take pitches and walks. That will need to change to reach the playoffs I feel. It's a hell of a ride, and there's plenty of time to flip-flop. I'm just happy I'm excited to watch games again. I got to heckle Linebrink, Heyward, and the Braves bullpen last night as I was the first row in the bleachers above the bullpen in right field. WHAT A GREAT TIME, though they frown on heckling WAYYYY too much. I also have tickets on Friday, meaning I have to wash the lucky Turnbow shirt and warm-up the vocal cords, and possibly the fists for the Cubs.

Brewers SOUL CRUSH

Great opening day for 8 innings. Brewers looked as good as advertised, but the weaknesses that everyone was talking about reared their HIDEOUS head. Suspect defense, an unproven bullpen, a serious lack of depth. The golden child of last years disappointing season John "Stash" Axford shit the bed hanging a 93MPH fastball waist high in the 9th inning with two on. Shit decision by Lucroix, unless Axford just missed the pitch that badly. It sucked to watch a possible HUGE win to start the year get destroyed by one awful moment. Why couldn't the ball drift foul? Why couldn't the 3rd base ump give McGahee the tag-out call? It's little things that lose one game, but possibly, if it continues, ruin a very good, young team with little depth. You just have to hope Marcum and Greinke come back healthy and better than ever, but the bullpen absolutely HAS to improve. Who is going to come in and be untouchable for one inning a game? It seems like a painful season may be upon us, but maybe, just maybe they can hit their way through some rough patches and the group of starters can hide the bullpens inadequacies for awhile longer. Axford can't hang 93mph shit gut-high anymore, that I know is a fact.