The Lone Ranger

Knowing that nobody spoke of this highly, I still watched the Lone Ranger. The story is told from Johnny Depp's perspective as Tonto, though he is currently an old man on display in a museum talking to a kid in a Lone Ranger mask. The story goes through the "freeing" of a prisoner from a train who Tonto is trying to kill, the train crashing, the prisoner being brought back to justice by the Lone Ranger's brother, the "Freeing" again of the same asshole, but this time they kill everyone, except the LONE RANGER. He is dug out by Tonto and their journey begins together. It's pretty ridiculous WAY too much of the time. They do fabricate an interesting story around the bad guys and connect them, which actually surprised me. THe movie just has too much going on and it really didn't hold my attention. I'm amazed this thing got put through with Armie Hammer as the lead, but he's just one of the many things wrong with this pile of shit. Bottom Line: 4.1 out of 10. Tons of money thrown into this thing, but you don't understand how it's possible to suck so badly. Don't watch, it's simply not worth it.

All is Lost: A.K.A. Robert Redford's Sailing Trip

All is Lost got a lot of publicity when Redford was nominated for Best Actor. The film is ALL about him out on the ocean in a sailboat. It follows him for two weeks, or so, and follows the downward spiral of what can all happen when you're BY YOURSELF sailing in the middle of AN OCEAN! It should come as no surprise to anyone that things start going badly. I'm frankly amazed that all of the "stunts" were done by Redford (He's 77!!). There are no frills except the sunset on the ocean. It's just a boat and Redford. He says very little and really is the entire movie. His emotions and struggles are it. It's like a Survivorman episode with better film equipment and more supplies. Redford deserves a ton of credit, so I'm glad he got a nomination on it. Bottom Line: 7.3 out of 10. I really wasn't an enormous fan of watching Redford struggle with the ocean for two hours. It's impressive, but I really didn't dig it a ton. Worth watching when it's on TV for free sometime in the near future, but not worth running out for.

We're The Millers

We're the Millers is the fun tale of a drug dealer, stripper, high school nerdy kid, and a runaway and how they band together to smuggle drugs from Mexico into the good 'ol U.S.A. I do like Jason Sudekis, so that helps. Jennifer Aniston is gorgeous, Emma Roberts is too, so all these things help. The story is a little crazy, but it plays out well and is not far-fetched enough to bother you a ton. The back & Forth banter is pretty solid and really the highlight of the film. The insults are quick and fun and everything moves along at a nice pace. Nick Offerman (Ron Swanson) and Kathryn Hahn really are awesome bit characters when the story starts to drag and they help pick it back up and move it along. The outtakes are excellent and certainly worth a look. Bottom Line: 7.8 out of 10. Funny people with a good script that are allowed some room to work and improvise= a good movie. It's certainly worth a rental, or possibly buying since the extras are pretty solid. You're going to laugh, that's very likely.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

I jumped on the bandwagon following the advice of critics and fans alike on Rotten Tomatoes and saw the new Capt. America movie. FIrst off, make sure to re-watch the first one. I forgot pretty much everything and, though it wasn't extremely important, there were some things you'll want a refresher on. The movie takes place in the present, C.A. is trying to stay fit and active, he's an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D, but disgruntled, and Black Widow is still his Wing-woman. He isn't happy with S.H.I.E.L.D. witholding information, etc. from him and Nick Fury remains the same guy he always has been. Things take awhile to get crazy, but they certainly go batshit insane, and it's pretty cool. I can't throw any spoilers, but the chaos is pretty cool. Sam Jackson, ScarJo, Chris Evans, and Cobie Smulders (ROBIN SCHERBOTZKY from HIMYM!) are joined by Anthony Mackie of Hurt Locker fame and Sebastian Stan playing the WINTER SOLDIER, a relative unknown who I thought was excellent. Cast is solid, story was unique and pretty cool actually. It still had a few moments where you can't help but question them, like all action/superhero movies, but thre aren't too many and they are manageable. I recommend not reading much/watching trailers beforehand. There could be potential spoilers you'll want to avoid, though I feel like it did a pretty good job of avoiding that. Bottom Line: 8.2 out of 10. Probably higher than I'd normally put it, but it was a refreshingly unique story off the old tales of Capt. America that I was surprised about, so I was entertained for 2.5 hours and that warrants a pretty high rating. I didn't see it in 3D, but I can't imagine it making a big difference. It's worth seeing in theatres if you're looking to go see something since most other things currently playing aren't too special.

Rush- Why didn't Ron Howard Advertise More?

Rush is the story of two Formula One driver's (and previously Formula 3 & 2 driver's, which I never knew existed before this movie) and their incredible fued and rivalry for the 1976 Championship. It's just awesome in terms of realism (I presume) and story. It surprised me that I'd never heard the names James Hunt or Niki Lauda, but this movie certainly glorifies them to new heights. Perhaps it's from a different time, or because it's a more European sport, but I've never heard of either driver before. The acting is very solid and as I said before, the story is dynamite. Hunt is perfect for Hemsworth and relatively uncelebrated Daniel Bruhl is very good in his role as UBER serious Lauda. I knew this movie got rave critic reviews and struggled at the box office, but I still knew very little about it other than it was about Formula One racing. The fact that it's based on a true story just makes it SO much better. I learned some things about Formula One during the 70's and in general. I enjoyed everything about the movie and ended up being surprised it didn't catch more fanfare. Bottom Line: 8.7 out of 10. Very solid movie that tells an incredibly interesting, yet unknown story about sports, which everyone always loves (Air Bud, am I right?) I recommend renting, or even buying it, since I'm fairly sure it's going to be very affordable shortly, if it isn't already. I paid $7 at Family Video for the blu-ray, so that's the way to go.

Later How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM)

I became invested in How I Met Your Mother in my early college years when the show first began. My friend Evan mentioned it was awesome and worth watching, I eventually caught an episode and bought in, HARD. I've been on the wagon for the whole time. I blended some concepts from other games and added my own to create a HIMYM drinking game. I've been a fan for quite awhile due to the amazing fact that the show would juggle great comedy with some crushing drama. It was an amazing balence of the two blended better than any show before. Real life events would happen and you really felt for the characters. It was a powerful drama disguised in an excellent comedy. The talent came together beautifully as the show reinvented NPH (Neal Patrick Harris), gave "The Flute Girl" from American Pie a steady job (Alyson Hannigan) that worked around her pregnancies (or pregnancy, not sure), created a rising starlet in Cobie Smulders, aided to Jason Seigel's meteoric comedy rise, and gave us Josh Radnor. It reintroduced Bob Saget to our living rooms as THE NARRATOR, where he excels. You bought into them being great friends for nine years and explained how people band together in a new city and become family. It was beautiful. It kind of fell of the tracks at certain points, but always rallied with great blockbuster episodes to keep you in. The last season was pretty disappointing though. The signature heart was there, but severely muted. The last episode seemed rushed, covering wayyy too much ground in an hour where the rest of the season encompassed only 3 days. There wasn't the touching cast remembering moments segment that made me love the Office final, and this show NEEDED something like that. We became emotionally invested in the characters, and it kind of felt like the rug was pulled out, though the ending was pretty touching. I once again have to recommend binge watching this excellent ensemble comedy on Netflix as soon as possible. It really was unique and great in a ton of aspects and through 8 seasons. It added "Slapbet", "Legen, wait for it... DARY", "Slutty Pumpkin", and so much more to our vernacular. I'll miss my Monday night fix, that is a fact. So, tip of the cap to you HIMYM, thanks for the memories. Bottom Line: 9.5 out of 10. It's a high rating, but it was a GREAT show in a tough genre that often sees shows struggling in the ratings get jettisoned. Glad CBS and the cast stuck with it for as long as they did.

Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

I checked in with Hobbit Part 2 today after hearing I really needed to see if in theatres vs. at home. I was pretty skittish after the first one, which was pretty childish and boring for the most part. This movie has a couple childish moments, but it's a lot better and worth watching at the cheap seats for $3.00 if you have one around. I can certainly see where having it in 3D would have been phenomenal, but the big screen was also a treat. Smaug is finally introduced like two hours in, but it's a treat. He's a real mastery of 3D and Benedict Cumberbatch, though his voice is a little over-indulged/out-tuned sadly. You already had a great product, why mess with it? In any case the story progresses nicely, especially with the addition of the elves to the fighting mix. This is much closer to the Lord of the Rings Trilogy than the first one. My recommendation is to check this one out, even if you didn't like the first one. Bottom Line: 8.1 out of 10. This is really a great blend of CGI and acting that's a much better effort than the first one. Check it out while it's still in some theatres if possible.

Friendly Remembrance

Cpl. Nick Anderson may be just another star on the wall somewhere, but he was one of Sauk Prairie's finest. Nick and I were acquainted since Kindergarten, a fact that in a small town never escapes you. He was always the friendly face and a smile walking through the halls, and later always a great person to talk to just for the pleasure of conversation. My class wasn't adverse to suffering, we lost two people in the class above us and one two classes ahead of us, so we knew the pain of losing people close to us at a tragically young age, but before 2005 we avoided such painful days in our own class of 2003. That year brought us a tragic loss of Nick, a great human being with so much to give to our world. Nick enlisted and had his Humvee/armored vehicle roll over during his time in Afghanistan. Looking back I always had only the fondest memories or Nick as the always friendly face to say "hi" to in the halls, or have a few quick words with because we'd known each other for so long. It was really sad I never knew Nick better than that. I see all the facebook remembrances and it bothers me we weren't more than just really friendly acquaintances. He was just a great guy who left this world way too soon. That Summer we followed that tragedy with Andy Roelke, who died in a tragic motorcycle accident. I was playing tennis no more than two blocks from where it occurred, when it occurred. Another great person I grew up playing soccer with and exchanging friendly talks and greetings with was also gone. I attended both funerals knowing that both people meant a lot to me, even though they weren't my closest friends, they were a part of my life that I always appreciated. It's always a reminder that really good people pass through your life without you getting to know the best of them. It's sad that these great men were both gone short of their 21st birthdays, it's a real tragedy. The real moral is you don't know when it will happen to you, or the people you care about most, so always honor those lost and keep your friend's/family as close as you can. I carry memories of these great people with me always knowing that any day could be your last. Cherish your friends, even if they aren't the people you always talk to, or in your closest circle. I know I missed out on furthering my knowledge and friendship with a couple of great people and I feel we should always push to live in the present to capture as much as we can with the special people surrounding us in the now. I usually don't use this for a preaching forum, but I was really compelled on Nick's anniversary to talk about his loss and my regrets for not being a larger part of his life. It's impossible to ever go back, so it's important to learn and move forward knowing special people surround us and they should know how special they are to you.

300: Rise of an Empire

I ponied up and saw 300: Rise of an Empire in 3D since I figured that was the way to watch a bunch of dudes getting stabbed and hacked to pieces. The story actually takes place during the original 300's stand and 10 years before when the Athenians originally defeated Kind Dareus and killed him upon his first attempt at taking over Greece. The movie follows Athenian hero Themistocles (didn't check the spelling) who hit King Dareus with the most impossible arrow shot in movie history possibly and killed him. Artemista (played by Eva Green) is in charge of the Persian Navy and she convinces Prince, now King Xerxes after Dareus is dead, to invade Greece again. For some reason it takes ten years, but they get after it and crazy sea battles ensue. It's entertaining and has some impressive moments in 3D. It's a little crazy how easy some people have it in hacking 10 guys to pieces in a few seconds, but it's to be expected. I imagine it's more impressive in IMAX, but drop $15 at your own peril. Bottom Line: 6.7 out of 10. You know what you're getting in to, so it's easier to let blatently crazy shit not bother you as much. If you liked the original 300, you're probably going to like this one. Certainly wasn't disappointed in my $8 purchase.

White House Down

I jumped into this garbage after seeing a higher than expected 4 stars on Netflix & 6.5 on IMDB. This follows the story of Gerard Butler's character on his journey from being on the President's security detail to working at the Treasury, to becoming Rambo and America's greatest hero. I'm going to, rather than do a review, tell you where this movie pissed me off and got me to not care. In the first 10 minutes the President's motorcade is driving too fast on a cliff in Winter and the First Lady dies when Gerard Butler saves the President, but not the First Lady. Apparently this makes the President no longer his buddy, so he is put in a different department doing security on the Library, Treasury, or something like that. Where I pretty much lost all interest and started making fun of the movie and cursing at it is when the attack on the White House starts. The Korean's some how have an American plane equipped with video game gatling guns that are independent and utterly ridiculous. The plane SHOOTS DOWN two jets escorting it with the video game machine guns, then strafes the White House for awhile firing bullets into everyone and everything. It avoids some anti-aircraft fire by deploying more chaffe than 20 planes have. After that bullshit we have 30 Koreans take over the White House, which I could write a paper on how ridiculous it was. The military takes forever to get to THE WHITE HOUSE mind you, and is completely useless. From there Butler takes out basically all the Koreans himself in a preposterous hour of insanity and stupidity. I didn't understand how anyone could like this movie, but I have a low tolerance for ridiculousness in action movies and this hit the limit quickly. To enjoy the movie, ignorance must truly be bliss. Bottom Line: 3.9 out of 10. Even the CGI is crap. This really has few redeeming qualities other than laughing at a lot of the ridiculousness.