Jim Thome- Hats off

Jim Thome, a man who you never hear a bad word about, just bashed his 599th & 600th home runs as a major league baseball player. It is an immortal milestone only 8 other players have ever matched. Thome has done so without the controversy of so many others of his generation. Nobody would accuse Thome of taking steroids. Not the man who won't turn down an autograph, or turn away a fan at a restaurant. He's a class act, the kind that we don't hear enough about. Jim Thome has been in the league 21 seasons, starting in 1990 as a 20 year-old third baseman. He grew into himself and became a brutally strong hitting first baseman. Like classic Henry Aaron style, he's only eclipsed 50 homers once and 40 homers six times during his heyday with the Indians. Consistency and kindness are what makes Thome unique in his accomplishments. You don't hear anyone in baseball talk badly about Jim Thome, or really anyone for that matter. A great quote was said by Joe Nathan, and really all of his Twins teammates worship Thome, ESPN didn't have to hunt very far for people to say glowing words of praise about Thome.

"He is the world's nicest man," said Twins closer Joe Nathan. "He's one of those guys that the hype is so great before you meet him, then he lives up to the hype, and more. When you see him from across the field, you think, 'He can't be that nice,' but he is. He is so genuine. There are other players that will be forgotten when they leave, but he will not be. We will be talking about him for years to come. To me, he's like [Hall of Famer] Harmon Killebrew. They are one in the same. When you meet both of those guys for the first time, you think, 'Wow, this is someone that I will be wanting to talk to on a daily basis.'"

"Jim Thome is the best," said Twins reliever Matt Capps. "I've been to dinner with him, and people come to our table, and he takes time to say hi to a kid. I've seen guys with six months in the big leagues snub a kid in a restaurant. Not Jim, and he is a first-ballot Hall of Famer. He'll talk to a guy who knew him from Cleveland in 1993. He is a role model for all of us, he is like every one of us would like to be. I'd like to get 20 years in the big leagues like him."

"He is the nicest, gentlest, kindest guy you will ever meet … to everything except the baseball, he still hits that really hard," said Twins outfielder Michael Cuddyer. "When he walks in a room, everyone watches everything he does. It's the way he treats people, it's the way he respects the game. When I heard he was re-signing with us, I was so happy for a lot of reasons, but one reason was I wanted to be there for when he hit No. 600. Every night, I would pray that I was on base when he hit his 600th home run."

I love hearing things like that about someone as great as Thome. He's an even better teammate and person than baseball player. I especially like the Killebrew comparisons. A man who tragically passed earlier this year that people were lining up to say great things about because they were compelled to do so, and it was so easy for them. I hope Thome enjoys this and continues to be an awesome person getting his farewell tour at the stadiums he's lit up with his personality and bat for all these years.

Limitless

Limitless is a movie with Bradley Cooper as a smart, but unmotivated writer who runs into his ex-wife's brother-in-law (twice removed) and he gives him a black market pill that allows you to use your brain at %100 capacity. He becomes a genius and stock market wizard, gets in with the wrong people, gets a hair cut, becomes rich. It's a pretty decent movie that moves along at a pretty good clip. Cooper is really solid as a genius and is very entertaining. Robert De Niro has a really good role as the owner of a very large energy firm who becomes Cooper's de facto boss. I liked the film, but won't be watching it again.

Bottom line: 7.2 out of 10. Certainly worth watching, just don't pay any money for it.

Cap'N AMURICA

Chris Evans falls into the jackpot and gets cast as UBER-American Captain America. This tells the tale of how a "90 lb. asthmatic" can become a super-hero. It introduces the Red Skull, played very well by always creepy and evil Hugo Weaving. It really was what I expected. Heavy on story, plot, the beginning of Captain America, and overall flowery. There is of course some dark times and not fun stuff, but it's a kids movie at heart. I was a fan, just not a huge fan. It didn't really surpass expectations, but met them very easily. It was a little ridiculous as planned, but didn't get totally out of hand, so that was commendable. They had some fun with action scenes and CGI that looked alright. It was a little insane to have technology from WWII more advanced than the shit we play with today, but it is what it is. Evans was solid, though I agree with my buddy that they should have made his voice a little weaker when he was a scrawny 90 lb. bitch. Good cast, decent story, standard summer movie throwing up some big numbers per usual.

Bottom line: 7.7 out of 10. It is definitely worth seeing, just don't pay $10. Rent, or see at the cheap seats because you aren't missing anything earth-shattering. It lays the groundwork for another monster Marvel series. The Avengers is officially loaded up and the biggest movie I can think of right now. It's going to be HUGE with the amount of money and star power that it's throwing out.

Everything Must Go- Like Will Ferrell's Career

So this film is FAAAAAARRRR, from a comedy. Will Ferrell is a recovering/ battling with sobriety VP who has just gotten fired and is in the process of being divorced. his soon to be ex-wife has just left everything he owns on the lawn and changes the locks so he has NO access to their house. He proceeds to drink PBR, sit outside, sell a few things, befriend a neighborhood kid, and befriend his new neighbor. It's overall rather boring and really an older slice-of-life picture about growing older, but not better in any way. It was rather awkward, they throw in that Ferrell was sober for a year before his colossal fuck-up that ruined his career and marriage. SO, it's not very funny needless to say, unless you're a really, really sick fuck.

Bottom line: 6.3 out of 10. It's not awful by any means, but really hard to relate to in my case. Not funny, but rather serious and depressing.

Blade Runner (In my Pants)

Blade Runner is a sci-fi classic that really gets a lot of credit and is heralded as a great film. The cinematography is very impressive, but besides being very nice to look at, it's not too great in my opinion. It follows an interesting story of the future where "Replicants", or humanoids, are created to be exactly like humans, but with super strength and a four year life where they will die regardless. Harrison Ford's character Decker is a Blade Runner, a "policeman" like person who kills renegade replicants. There are six that escaped from another planet they were slaves on, killed 23 people and escaped to Earth. Their goal is to find out how to live longer than 4 years. They bring Decker in to kill them all and it's a race between the Replicants trying to find their maker to find a "cure" for their four year lives before Decker shoots them and ends their lives before it would happen "naturally". I'm going to watch it with commentary by Ridley Scott to try to get the whole perspective, but it's a pretty weak story. Ford, Darryl Hannah, Rutger Hauer, and Edward James Almos (Jaime Escalante- HOW DO I REACH THEEESS KEEEEEEDS?) round out a decent case, with some weaknesses in some of the bit roles.

Bottom Line: 7.7 out of 10. Solid film highlighted by the cinematography and sets, but lacking in substance beyond that.

Stone

Stone is a strange character study with Edward Norton, Milla Jovovich, and Robert De Niro getting put on display. Norton is a criminal facing 10-15 for arson on his grandparents house he burned after his cousin murdered them. De Niro is a prison psychologist who holds all the cards in getting Norton (Stone) out early. Jovovich is Norton's too hot wife who whores herself to De Niro (and others) to get Stone out early. It's weird and a bit of a stretch, but it's OK. They are all really good with the exception of Norton, because it really isn't possible to see him as an uneducated, white-trash thug in my eyes. Jovovich is really good as the seductress who spends her days being a pre-school teacher, though with her night time exploits I can't imagine her being very good at it.

Bottom Line: 6.7 out of 10. Worth a free viewing on a movie channel, but I wouldn't actively search it out. Decent twists to make it interesting, and I feel a strangely religious message at the end of it.

The American

The American has some action, sex, love, drama, cinematography, and heaps of Clooney. Clooney carries the drama-like movie through a few different stories swirling. He's building a gun for a female assassin, who is mysterious. He's starts nailing a prostitute, he eventually really likes her. There's some attempted murder and picnic lunches, but I think the heart of the story becomes Clooney's love story with the hooker. The film is overall pretty slow and has an artistic feel forced upon it. Never really had an identity, I'm thinking it was made solely because of Clooney's involvement.

Bottom Line: 6.3 out of 10. Worth watching for free, some good acting from Clooney and others, but really nothing spectacular on any level, except the hookers BOOBIES, those were fantastic.

Cyrus

This movie was totally misrepresented in the advertisements. This was hyped as a hilarious battle between John C. Reilly and Jonah Hill. What it in fact is would be an adult love story between Reilly and Marisa Tomei, who is still drop-dead gorgeous. It's really a story of two people who thought their romantic lives were over finding each other and love again. Hill really doesn't fuck with them ALL that much. There's a couple funny parts, but really not much. I really wasn't a huge fan and the fact I was expecting comedy probably hurt the movie for me. Pretty good acting, but I really struggled with the lack of war between Reilly and Hill. Too much bullshit, not enough comedy, or love story if they wanted to take it that way. Really never finds itself in my opinion.

Bottom Line: 5.8 out of 10. I really don't recommend watching it. It's not a comedy or a romantic comedy really. It defies description, but it's not really entertaining, or sustainably funny. See on Cinemax if you feel so inclined, just don't expect much.


SIDE NOTE: Very interesting show called Franchise: A season with the San Francisco Giants on Showtime. Beautiful moments where Jeremy Affeldt and Matt Cain come home to their families after an extended road trip set to "I'm Coming Home" acoustically done by I think Keri Hilson, but I'm not sure. Affeldt has an especially beautiful moment on the way in where his young son is on the phone and Affeldt says he's coming up the driveway, "open the garage door for me" and his genuine happiness seeing his kids is beautiful. Bruce Bochy seems like a manager his players would lay on a grenade for. He hangs out in his office and offers to crack a beer, or, after a win, a nice bottle of wine. He's super accessible and I think he'll have a job there for QUITE some time. I love these shows allowing us further access into the lives of athletes. I especially like to look at the veterans who may not be superstars, but have become so well adjusted and natural in their ways. They juggle the lifestyle of a pro athlete + a family life, it's just really fascinating.

Horrible Bosses

Premise is three friends hate their three bosses. Jason Sudekis loved his old boss, but now his coke-head, doucher son (GREAT job by Colin Farrell on this one) is now running the chemical company. Colin Farell just OWNS this role. He is completely fucking hilarious and is only limited by his lack of on-screen time. Bateman hates his boss played by Kevin Spacey, who does a very good job as well. Spacey is a heartless asshole, your standard Glengarry Glenross Alec Baldwin inspired boss. He refuses to promote Bateman and runs him into the ground. Charlie has Jennifer Anniston as a man-eater who wants him to plow her. Anniston does a pretty good job, she is still VERY GOOD looking, so that's nice. It's your typical dumb humor movie, which tends to bother me when Charlie is just WAAAAYYYY too stupid. I don't find it funny when it crosses the line into just ridiculous stupidity. Jamie Foxx is hilarious for the few minutes he's onscreen as their Hit man liaison Motherfucker Jones. Really good cast, pretty funny plot and story, not great writing, but decent.

Bottom Line: 7.4 out of 10. Great side characters help drag it along, worth seeing when it's out on video.

Transformers TRIFECTA

I saw the new Transformers movie like most idiots out there. Impressive CGI as always, I can only imagine how awesome the 3-D version probably is. Once again we're forced to try to care about Shia LaDOUCHE and NOT Megan Fox as I'll refer to her (FYI she's a shitty substitute). He's REALLY in love now with NOT Megan Fox and they're relationship is stressed because LaDouche can't find a job even though he thinks he's special or something. The Decepticons for years have been keeping the dark side of the moon a secret where an old Autobot ship crashed with a matrix and pillars capable of building an energy bridge to anywhere + sentinel Prime, the only bot capable of using it. It's a huge crazy plot that makes no sense when you think about it, so try not to, you'll run into that a lot. It's got a similar cast + John Malkovich (who needs to murder/fire his agent), Francess McDermott, Patrick Dempsey, and the dude who was Steve the Pirate in Dodgeball. There's some great action, it's just always bothered me that they force us to try to care about the humans when the movie should be about the BOTS. It's worth watching, I'm not sure about throwing $15 or whatever at the 3-D version though.

7.1 out of 10. It's enjoyable and action packed, just don't expect any Oscars to be doled out on this one.