Draft Day: I thought this was Supposed to be Realistic

Draft Day attempted to allow us to feel like we were in a "real" War Room for the draft, but that's an outright lie. The moves made are unrealistic and ridiculous. The pinnacle of the insult mountain is the Jaguars trading the No. 6 pick for three second rounders. It's so preposterous it's physically painful to watch it happen. The deal for the Browns to move up to No. 1 was feasible, but I'm going to ruin this piece of shit for everyone, SPOILER ALERT they don't take the franchise QB that everyone expects. They take a guy who would've been available at No. 7 originally at No. 1, like the Jaguars would've done. The QB falls to number No. 6 where the Browns trade their next 3 second rounders, since they traded 3 first rounders to move up. The Jaguars take it because we're led to believe that nobody does any homework in the draft and the players they expected to be available at 6 wasn't. The Browns THEN deal No. 6 back to the Seahawks for all their picks back PLUS a punt returner. That's EVEN more ridiculous than the Jaguars deal. It'd be more realistic that a fan riot in either city broke out and murdered all team personnel. This heap of shit isn't even over and I'm ready to rule on it. Bottom Line: 3.1 out of 10. Awful, crap, boring, stupid, ridiculous. DO NOT WATCH THIS. P.S. I'm insulted Ellen Barkin was associated with this film. I also forgot to mention that it wastes time trying to make some relationship tension between Costner and Garner, which is probably worse than the draft shenanigans. I want my two hours back whatever studio threw this garbage together.

Machine Gun Preacher

I was avoiding this one because I'm far from a Gerard Butler fan, but this had a great rating on Netflix and I was looking for something entertaining. Butler is a good fit for a man who struggled with drugs, booze, and guns (though I guess struggling might not be the best word for the guns...), but he also does well in the redemption part. Sam Childers would be better playing himself because he's clearly a badass. The pictures during the credits don't do him justice I'm quite certain. He completely changes his life after he fought with and stabbed a hitchhiker him and his friend pick-up. The hitchhiker did try to hold a knife to his friend, which was a bad idea. The movie tries to balance his family life with his calling, which is building and maintaining in orphanage in war-torn Sudan. He goes to unbelievable lengths to sustain and protect his shelter/orphanage. It's a great story, especially after seeing the amazing documentary "The Devil Came on Horseback". The reality is Sudan is as close to hell as possible and the efforts of Sam Childers make a monster difference in the kids he saves. Bottom Line: 8.4 out of 10. The movie is excellent, though I have an enormous soft spot for movies like this. I thought they spent too much time on the family struggles, but Sam Childers life probably deserves a TV series and even that might not be enough time to do it justice. I think it's probably worth reading more on Sam Childers.

The Drop- Don't Bother

I was excited to fire up The Drop featuring Jimmy Gandolfini and Tom Hardy. The movie seemed like a movie centered around robbing money from a "Drop bar" where illegal money is dropped and picked up by mobsters, etc. I assumed this would mean wild badassery from Tom Hardy, or AT LEAST Jimmy Gandolfini, but sadly it does not. It just drags on for 107 minutes of mediocrity and attempted character development. I joked about 20 minutes through that Tom Hardy's character is "deeply troubled" as evidenced by EVERYTHING about the character. Bottom Line: 5.1 out of 10. Deeply disappointing, down to Tom Hardy's bullshit simpleton "accent".

Bad Words: Bad, with Words

This movie tries to capitalize on Jason Bateman's "fame". Bateman is funny, but this is not one of those occasions. The film tries to be funny by making Bateman's character, an angry "genius" who finds a by-law (DODGEBALL style) to get him into the National Spelling Bee. He's a complete dick, uses bad language, and does "funny" things to other contestants. It's a real stretch and tries wayyyy too hard to be funny, or anything. I was hoping for much more, but it's really just trying to use really bad language in inappropriate situations. It would be like watching a dude swear during a church service for an hour. Bottom Line: 4.1 out of 10. Avoid, it's just not worth your time.

John Wick: Murderboner

John Wick wastes no time jumping into the set-up. There is about 5 minutes of character development showing John after his wife dies, he's depressed, she bought him a dog who brings him a bit of joy & sunshine. That dog is then murdered by the fuck clown that play Theon Grayjoy (Alfie Allen (Yup, that's his real name...)) and shit hits the fan. John Wick breaks through a foot of concrete to find his hidden box of murder toys and goes to work. If you watch this movie you know what you're getting into, so it's refreshing (unlike the Equalizer) to just get into it and not fuck around with story/plot/character development. Keanu Reeves might be a bit old because he seems a little slow in some of the fight scenes, but he's excellent as the silent, motivated, driven hitman-type. It also succeeds in not being COMPLETELY ridiculous since you know there is going to be a lot. There's an excellent scene where he confronts Theon (not his real name or character name, but it makes more sense to me) and a gaggle of Russian mobsters into a dance club. It rivals the great scene from Collateral where Tom Cruise runs through the club killing a bunch of dudes and trying to get to Jamie Foxx. Bottom Line: 7.6 out of 10. It's a REALLY good action movie and I enjoyed the movie quite a bit. I'm glad Keanu keeps getting after it in the action hero role since NEO will always bring nostalgia. Don't watch unless you want to see a bunch of dudes getting shot and stabbed.

Going Clear: Scientology and the Prison of Belief

HBO brought the wood on another great documentary about the horrors that is the "Church" of Scientology. I shudder at everything that movie presented about the abuses of power and basis for Scientology. It starts going through who L. Ron Hubbard was and why it wasn't surprising he could fabricate the entire basis for Scientology since he holds the Guinness Book of Records for most books published at over 1,000. Hubbard came up during the depression where writes were paid per story, so he had to write a LOT. This movie digs through interviews with former HIGH ranking members of Scientology, videos from Scientology, footage, FBI reports, etc. It's incredible how much great information they had to merely present facts about how awful Scientology is. You keep wondering how something like that hasn't been exposed, imprisoned, shut down, or at least TAXED. I learned some things that I will never forget. Very interested in joining the upper ranks to try to get my hand on a piece of the $3 billion dollar valuation of Scientology. They have real estate holdings in several countries and in places like Vegas, L.A., New York that are certainly extremely valuable. Bottom Line: 9.2 out of 10. Highly recommended.

Last Man on Earth

Will Forte takes a crack at TV with a new comedy on Fox called Last Man on Earth. The premise is as simple as it sounds and Forte is funny enough to be able to handle the camera himself for long periods of time, but the show takes a dynamic turn rather quickly (2nd episode I believe). Not to ruin this thing, but Forte is NOT ALONE. Forte is put in various situations and my personal favorite is his inflatable pool filled with booze and margarita mix. This show has slowly been falling out of favor with me as his characters quirks and antics are already getting old. I originally thought it was pretty funny, but I'm already close to punting on this one. McGruber is the only reason I've stuck it out as long as I have. Bottom Line: 5.9 out of 10. Not recommending this one unless you are a BIG Will Forte fan.

Foxcatcher

The tale of Mark & Dale Schultz and the interactions with John du Pont could have probably been an entire TV series with several seasons. The eccentricities and complexities of Du Pont were just scratched in Foxcatcher, but even that is very impressive. Mark Schultz won the 1984 gold medal and was primed to repeat in 1988. His coach, best friend, and mentor was his older brother Dale. They both won gold medals at 1984, but Mark was the prime candidate to repeat due to being younger. John Du Pont, part of the Du Pont chemical fortune, decides to "help" Mark in his training by paying him to stay and train with the people of his choosing at Foxcatcher Farm. The farm is located on the du Pont estate in Newtown Square, PA near Valley Forge. Mark excitedly tells Dave, but Dave has no desire to uproot his family and move to PA. Mark starts training and brings some other wrestlers to Foxcatcher Farm. Du Pont and Mark become very close at Mark wins the World championship and seems primed to repeat his Olympic gold medal victory in 1988 in Seoul. Things become complication and Mark becomes psychologically damaged. Dave is brought in to help, but the situation worsens. The story is really the character study and performances of Tatum, Ruffalo, and Carell. All are very strong, though I will say after seeing the documentary that is shown being created in the film, Carell is too much in his portrayal of du Pont. Tatum is excellent as a wrestler in total mental & emotional turmoil. Ruffalo is phenomenal as Dale Schultz. I really thought his portrayal of Dale Schultz was especially impressive considering he is 47 and he looked like he could still wrestle at the Olympic level. Bottom Line: 8.7 out of 10. Very good movie that covers a TON of ground and very complex issues. It neither condemns or deifies anyone in the story. Very well done.

Whiplash: J.K. Simmons Oscar on a Silver Platter

J.K. Simmons playing a psychotic band teacher prone to fits of rage? How could THAT role EVER work out? It was made for J.K. Simmons and he knocks it out of the park for the most part. The film follows a drummer prodigy played by Myles Teller who is accepted into an academy to essentially play drums. He works harder than everyone and gets invited to Simmons' symphony as a freshman (AKA "First year" in band talk), which simply doesn't happen. Simmons threatens him and berates him verbally, as well as the other players. Teller becomes even more devoted to his craft and essentially obsessed by it. He practices the point of blisters and callouses that bleed all over the drums. The relationship between Simmons and Teller is essentially the film, but there's entirely too much Teller & not enough Simmons, hence the best SUPPORTING actor Oscar for Simmons. Bottom Line: 8.2 out of 10. Certainly worth watching for Simmons just OWNING it as the psychotic band teacher. Not on par with some of the other best films nominated, but it's worth watching.

House of Cards: Still Awesome

I hope there isn't anyone surprised that House of Cards is great in Season 3. A phenomenal cast, interesting and well-written story, and such interesting subject matter come together beautifully again. Robin Wright & Kevin Spacey carry the heaviest weight, but the various seasoned newcomers do a great job of helping out. The standard twists and turns continue to shock & awe. I love how the show continues to pull no punches and plow through incredible moments and subject matter. What's sacred? How far would one go to accomplish their goals, or their goals for the nation? What constitutes a friend that you would do anything for, or someone you just use until they aren't useful anymore? It's so fascinating because you feel like this could very well be true. It could ALL be exactly how politics functions. It's probably infinitely more exciting than the petty bullshit that fills the average dealings of our Washington folks. It does make politics interesting, so that has to be a win. I love how it focuses on just one party and doesn't deal with the back & forth and begging for votes to push things through like the past seasons. It's probably the best show currently airing. Mad Men has a chance to unseat that with it's final season, but I'm doubting it. Bottom Line: GET ON BOARD. If you haven't watched it yet STOP waiting and get Netflix or borrow someone's password & username.