We have to have near the worst commentators for any sport on FSN for the Brewers. We went from Matt Vasgersian, who hosts MLB TV (for the moment, more on this later), to Brian "I make big plays seem like a classical piano receital" Anderson. Tonight Braun hit a near bases clearing home run/ double off the right field fence and Anderson didn't raise his awful tone one iota. The guy was grabbed from the golf tour, known for it's near sphincter tightening excitement.
How the fuck did this guy win the job? You would think only so many people would accept sexual favors to allow career advancement on FSN, but you'd be wrong. He also tonight gave me the worst Dr. Evil impression ever, including the ones we used to do as kids when Dr. Evil was a relevant/funny reference. He said "Laser" over ten times and Rock was dumb enough to finally bite and go, "Is that Dr. Evil?" He had to beat the catch phrase to death his impression was so bad just so the village idiot could catch on. It was only a matter of time before I vented on this, and tonight I can hear the game unlike most nights and I have to unleash my anger.
Brian Anderson completely sucks at doing baseball. He went on talking about how a series of the Pittsburgh Pirates and the Detroit Tigers will drum up people's thoughts of the 1908 World Series. Can you at least attempt to connect with your audience? He should have said "I'm a complete fucking nerdy/dorky/dweeby moron who will talk down to you because I did research on a useless topic and will use said research to sound smart and talk down to you." Let this failure do chess and golf and stay the fuck away from real sports. I could watch a bench clearing brawl and Brian may get excited enough to change his tone a little bit.
Rock Schroeder is the guy who was on the team, but never made enough money apparently, and the organization felt bad. Of course he's knowledgeable about baseball on most things, he played and was a catcher, usually regarded as the position that knows the most about baseball. He occasionally provides wisdom that we can get behind, but similar to Madden it is often lost in a sea of his really stupid comments. I'm not going to chart them, but if you watch the games he often loses even himself in stupidity. He often feels like being master of the obvious as well, which never gets annoying. Anderson certainly pulls this as well as I remember him after the Brewers walked two guys saying, "this sets up the triple play ball."
It also bothers me they are both enormous HOMERS, who will never talk badly about the Brewer's like they are blaspheming God. We all suffered through Ned Yost's questionable lineup decisions for years, I don't care if you support him his misuse of the bullpen and lineup cannot be questioned. Original thoughts are never sprung on us and I wish there was no delay so we could all listen to Uecker while muting these two chucklefucks.
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