Centurion

I took the plunge and watched Centurion last night on HDNET and was pleasantly surprised. It's a B action movie, but a well done B action movie. You'll notice some of the faces, most notably Michael Fassbender, Dominic West, and Olga Kurylenko (Queen of crappy action movies: Quantum of Solace, Hitman, Max Payne). I like how the film was shot with the grittier film for action and snow sequences. It's big-time over the top in the violence and drama, but it isn't too bad. The story follows a Roman legion deep into the Eastern Visigoth territories where they are ambushed by Visigoths and destroyed, except for their General (West) and a handful for soldiers (6 I think). The soldiers then embark on a quest to free the General and return to Rome. Kurylenko plays a crazed Visigoth tracker who hates Romans because they killed/raped her and her family and cut off her tongue. Crazy murder and violence ensues and entertains. It's not winning any Oscars, but it's entertaining.

Bottom Line: 6.1 out of 10. It's fun to watch if you like decapitation and limb dismemberment, which I do. Ending is disappointing however and a pointless love story is tossed in to pass time between disembowelment.

Silence of the Lambs

Silence of the Lambs is on TV today and it reminds me of everything that horror movies now are not. Clever, well-written, well-acted and directed. Thomas Harris wrote a great book, the movie did its best to interpret his work on the big screen. The suspense makes your stomach want to empty its contents out of your mouth. It doesn't pull punches in the realism department. If you have never seen this movie, do it immediately because you will never find a better performance than Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lector. A fine piece of cinema, through and through. What other thriller garnered Best Picture at the Oscars?

Sons of Anarchy

Sons of Anarchy is getting ready to roll out season 3 on Sept. 7th and you should take this opportunity to watch all the old episodes you can. If you have to forgo this for some reason, read some plot synopsis and get caught up, or ask me nicely to update you. The show is one of the best on TV assembling a great cast with a crazy and violent storyline. It follows the True Blood way of thinking, meaning almost all characters that are on the fringe are expendable. It's the most interesting piece of television that I know of for drama.

FX brings A-game all day it seems. It's Always Sunny, Rescue Me (don't watch, but love Dennis Leary), Justified, Archer, Louie, The League. It seems like they are the only real competition to HBO and Showtime for cable drama dominance. It's edgy enough where realism is not thrown out, but not so obscene that it isn't acceptable for cable. It's excellent that cable networks are allowed to not pussy-foot around everything and make something that is acceptably real when dealing with real life stuff. To pull off a motorcycle gang off the right way like Sons of Anarchy is a feat not possible without FX pushing regular cable limits with shows dating back to the Shield for EDGY DRAMA. I'm thinking South Park should jump to F/X and let the fun begin.

Fucking Clemens

So Roger still hasn't learned that the entire world knows that most players in the media for steroids and HGH use are as guilty as Hitler. Denying this is just like smacking everyone in the face with his dick it's so disrespectful. The real shocker is that he's getting brought up on charges before Bonds, that's a real marvel of our legal system.

Continuing with the theme of douche bag news Burt Furve is playing for Minnesota again, surprising nobody. He's going to get paid more than just about anyone else in the NFL to lead a stacked team for "one last shot". It's sickening at this point to speculate that this will actually be his last year. I don't fault him for playing, I fault him for being such a bitch about training camp. We get it, you know how to play football. You don't see Mark Brunell sitting it out at Jets camp. Show up, do the work, get to know your teammates, then play the season. Don't bitch about your ankle, just sit out some of the running and be there for your team. Now the Vikings are favorites to win the NFC and the Super Bowl and we have to endure another Brett Favre love-fest for another whole season. I almost want them to win the Super Bowl just so this will all be over, well that and the Jaguars don't have a shot in hell of winning anything.

The Other Guys

I'll admit, I was VERY skeptical of this film, especially after I saw the PG-13 rating. This film did an amazing job of being awesome. Mark Wahlberg was in the perfect role for himself, one of just being pissed off at everything. Will Ferrell is outstanding, Michael Keaton is great in his return to comedy, everyone does a great job in fact. There are some classic lines and running gags that were gold in my opinion. I never like going to comedies in theaters, but I didn't mind at all in this one because I was laughing more than everyone else, which is RARELY the case. There's a plot that doesn't really matter of a man pulling off a ponzi scheme for billions with Chechnians, Nigerians, and a made-up global corporation. This movie had only a few patches between hilarity to move the story along, but you are never far from something comical. I really can't wait for the unrated version with the extra bad language and deleted scenes, it's going to be epic.

Bottom Line: 8.4 out of 10. This movie should be seen as soon as its convenient. It's just hilarious.

She's Out of My League

I saw "She's Out of My League" last night. Premise is Jay Baruchel's character (Kirk) is a nice fella who works as airport security, has a weird family, and does the right thing. He finds a certified dime's (Alice Eve's character Molly)cell phone and he returns it to her at an art showing where she decides she likes him and takes him to a Penguins game. It gets more serious as nobody believes that a woman so beautiful and successful can fall for an ugly loser. There's a few funny parts mainly from the side characters of Patty (Krysten Ritter, who is AWESOME) and Stainer (T.J. Miller). I really can't recommend seeing this movie unless you really like Jay Baruchel and romantic comedies that use worse language than most PG-13 ones.

Bottom Line: 6.1 out of 10. Really unimpressive, but not terrible. Paying a dollar for it from Red Box isn't the worst thing you can do with your life. This will certainly not be the last time you see Alice Eve as she is astoundingly beautiful and talented enough to get cast in the upcoming X-Men movie. She's not disappointing at all to look at or listen to.

Kramer v. Kramer

I took some time to enjoy Kramer v. Kramer on demand and was very pleased with a movie that picked up Oscar wins for Best picture, actor, actress in a supporting role, and writing in 1979. The film is a gut-wrenching drama where Meryl Streep's character walks out on her husband and son to find herself. Dustin Hoffman's character sacrifices career and well-being to take care of his son during this two year stretch. Streep returns and claims to want custody of their son. A legal battle ensues and everything is superb. Streep absolutely kills it, Hoffman I thought could be more emotional, but clearly does a great job. Justin Henry does a great job as the son being torn apart. It shows the ugliness of even a mutual divorce and custody battle. I love when old, acclaimed movies find their way ON demand.

Bottom Line: 8.6 out of 10. Everything is superbly done, it's just not a super-exciting. Watch if you want a tear-jerker with superb acting highlighting a strong story. Don't watch if overly emotional.

FavreTASTIC (God make this stop)

So, I really tried hard not to hate Brett Favre for his constant shit-show every year. I felt bad for him when the Packers made the right business decision and got rid of him to let Aaron Rodgers play for 1/6th the money (or something like that). I fully supported him playing elsewhere because obviously he wasn't going to be allowed to play for the Packers. I even went as far to defend the fact he was old and really didn't need that much training camp because he's been around long enough and doesn't need to be in great physical shape to play QB. I defended him because his play always outshone his other bullshit. I got sick of hearing about him, but due to his great play last year, I overlooked the previous year's of the same fiasco. I can't give Brett a free pass this year. This is just utter insanity. Could ESPN leave this shit alone? The LEBRONATHON that we had to witness was no better, but Favre hits a new height because every year he does this.

How can you not know whether you can play or not play? I really am in a state of shock over this. Ed Warder chasing him to the high school where he likes to throw around a ball and look like a has-been fuck. How can he enjoy this circus? If he doesn't want it, why doesn't he stay indoors, or go to Taipei? It's making my eyes and ears bleed. This is such a rough patch for sports since it's just baseball and pure speculation from here on out. I need something to patch this void to not allow ESPN to talk about rumors and bullshit for 45 minutes out of an hour show. They just shovel shit and football is going to be so welcome I want to just draft a fantasy football team a day to pass the time.

Phillies fucking it up

How can Phillies fans possibly hold their heads up after watching the team get rid of Cliff Lee because of a refusal to give up Happ and prospects in the deal for Halladay only to ship the same guys to get Roy Oswalt? Nothing against Oswalt, he's just not Cliff Lee. What the fuck are they thinking on this one? Oswalt is the last #1 pitcher on the trading block, but what a slap-dick move to let Lee leave only to pull this shit off.

Albert Haynesworth failed the conditioning test and anyone surprised at this should take note that Haynesworth has never been in shape for training camp in his life. I have no idea who thought throwing money at him would make him care, I knew it was a terrible idea the moment it happened.

I re-watched "The Brotherhood of the Wolf", a French (but not gay) film about a "beast" tearing up the French countryside. Simple premise, but amazing cinematography and great acting/storytelling make this an excellent film. I saw it in high school and left the movie amazed. I'm the proud owner of it because it was like 10 bucks at Wal-Mart and I can't recommend it enough. It's just a great film that introduced us to Vincent Cassel and Monica Belluci. I think it's an incredibly well-done film that if you can read subtitles is for sure worth watching. I have the Director's Cut, but I have no idea what the difference is.

Bottom Line talking: 8.7 out of 10. I honestly may have already written about this, but see the movie and if you're disappointed run in front of a major highway.

Amores Perroes & The Hunted

Amores Perroes is a Spanish film that is a character piece focusing on people's relationships with dogs and each other. It's won some awards and it one of the films you're supposed to see according to critics and whatnot. It's very well done and well acted throughout. You have to read subtitles, so if you can't read or speak Spanish fluently, this isn't for you. The stories are all interesting, though the affair of a married man with children and a model is too long and boring for my taste. I'd recommend this film if you liked Crash, or movies that combine multiple stories. If you really like movies, you should watch the film as it's cinematography and editing are very well done for a low-budget, I'm assuming independent picture.

Bottom Line: 8.2 out of 10. I bought it for 5 bucks at Best Buy and I'm really happy with the purchase. I have a feeling I won't be watching it often, just like Crash, but it's something to see and appreciate because it's film as art, which is very rare.

I finally saw the hunted with Tommy Lee Jones and Benecio Del Toro. Those two carry a pretty good film. I was amazed how much Tommy Lee Jones did physically for this film. There's a good two minutes where he's just running and chasing Benecio. The knife fights are excellent and it's all around solid. It's hard to top Del Toro's quiet intensity that makes you buy he's a killer. Del Toro is your typical ex-assassin trained to kill in the jungles with his bare hands. Tommy Lee is the man who trained him who is a tracker/ greatest outdoorsmen to have ever lived. I never bought Del Toro's civilian life, but besides that distraction it's a really good movie that doesn't get too ridiculous.

Bottom Line: 6.8 out of 10. If you haven't seen it, like I hadn't, I recommend it. I'm sure it's on USA every now and then.