Stand Up Guys: Oscars Thrown Out the Door

I decided to buy Stand Up Guys since the pedigree of Walken, Pacino, and Arkin is unreal. I thought it might be equivalent of Glengarry Glenross where you combine great actors and dialogue and get greatness. I knew the reviews were less than kind, but I figured what the hell. Pacino is pretty charming, per usual, and Walken is very good as well, but the story is awful. Pacino is getting out of prison after 28 years. He was thrown in after accidentally killing the bosses son in the crossfire of a messy job gone bad. Walken, his best friend, picks him up from prison for his last night on earth. Walken is tasked with killing him by 10:00am the next morning as final retribution for his past crime. They do old guy stuff and some young guy stuff, but it's all fairly boring and uninteresting. It's awkward because parts of the movie make it seem like old people are similar and can do all the same stuff young people do and other parts make jokes of how old and behind the times they are. It's confusing in the aspect that it tries to combine humor, sentimentality, and a little bit of action all in one, and of course it misses the mark. It's all very strange in the sense that with your last night on earth after just getting out of prison I would do things differently. Walken doesn't even seem to juggle the responsibility and gravity of having to kill his best friend at 10:00am. Maybe that's because he never actually planned on doing it at all. The ending is a strange shoot-out with their former boss who Pacino pissed off by murdering his son, but it fails to bring closure and it's pretty dumb. Bottom Line: 5.7 out of 10. Far from worth seeing, but if it's on TV with nothing else I'd take a flier on it for a little Pacino and Walken together. Jon Bon Jovi wrote original songs for it apparently, which is also inconsequential and pointless, much like the film.

Grave of the Fireflies

Flier #2 was a Japanese Anime film called Grave of the Fireflies. I knew very little heading in and got my lid peeled back. I was expecting something a little tamer than Japanese film about after we bomb the shit out of them and ruin children's lives. Don't let the cartoonism fool you, this thing was SUPER CEREAL. Serious as anything the cute Japanese artistry did nothing to soften the horrific fact the movie was about the last parts and surrunder of Japan in WWII. The A-bomb hits close enough to the hometown of a young teenage boy (I'm guessing his age) and his toddlerish sister (5ish maybe?). Their mother dies from burns suffered in the bombing and their father is in the Navy, so he's certainly dead, though they don't know that at the time. They are taken in by a horrific human being of an Aunt and decide, after several mini blow-ups from the Aunt, they are heading off on their own to lives in a bomb shelter. Things go from bad, to horrible, and it's tough to watch. Bottom Line: 5.9 out of 10. I'm almost certain the fact I was not expecting something this harsh and brutal lowered the rating considerably, but I frankly doubt I can bring myself to watch this movie again. I'm not certain if I opted for the original language with English subtitles if it would have been better either, I just felt like this film was a slow and monstrous gut-punch. SPOILER ALERT: Watch if you enjoy a movie where everyone dies horribly and slowly.

Straw Dogs: The O.G. Dustin Hoffman Version

Taking a flier on some movies that imdb.com rated very highly and that were $3.00 or so online, I stumbled upon Straw Dogs and wanted to give it a run. I knew the premise: SPOILER ALERT! Hoffman and his wife return to her roots to a small town in Ireland where they are generally harassed and her "past" is used to attract the wrong folks from town. Eventually it leads to crazy, blood stained vengence. Hoffman already had the Graduate, but this certainly was some earlier work for him. Sam Peckinpah also wrote and directed The Wild Bunch, so he's far from adverse to violence. He tried some close-ups and camera tricks with this film that were pretty unsuccessful I felt, but you can see where thrillers/action movies borrow some elements from this. 1971 was a long time ago, so I tried to keep that in mind while watching. It was also hard to smoother my violent and rampent jingoism as well, but I tried. Hoffman is unreal and this certainly helped cement his stardom/leading man quality after his turn as Rizzo in Midnight Cowboy & his role in the Graduate earned two Best Actor Oscar nods that he missed out on. He carries the film and the rest of the cast does enough, though nobody else stands out besides a beautiful Susan George for completely different reasons besides acting. Bottom Line: 7.2 out of 10. I thought it was a good movie and the premise of the story certainly didn't help it progress along for me. It's far from exciting until the last 30 minutes where the lid gets blow off. Worth watching at some point, though I wouldn't recommend this one for a date movie...

The Maltese Falcon

I probably have already blogged about this film and my deep love for it. It's Humphrey Bogart's coming out party as before this film he was often a "thug" and usually died in the film. Here he is the definition of a "leading man" and star. He carries a VERY complex and difficult role and film. The premise follows Bogart (Private detective Sam Spade) as a women comes into his office with the proposition of following a "dangerous man" to find out where he is staying. He's "taken" her sister and she worries about her and wants her to return to Hawaii (I think) at the wishes of her family. Spade's partner (Archer) agrees to the task and is promptly shot for his efforts that night. The story bobs and weaves, twists, turns, and contorts for another 1.5 hours until, after you're lost and don't know who/what to believe, it's over and you want to watch it again. There's great lines ("People lose teeth talking like that", or "It's the stuff that dreams are made of"), some great 1930's speak, which I'm a huge fan of, Bogart, film noir, black and white with close-ups, it's all perfect to me. This is a film worth seeing and enjoying yourself. You can see how many other films have attempted to imitate, or borrow ideas from this great film. Bottom Line: 9.7 out of 10. This is probably too high, but it's certainly one of my all-time favorites. The story unfolds and has so many twists and turns that I've seen it 4-5 times and I find myself constantly looking for things and hints. Similar to Memento in that regard, but obviously it's not told in reverse or anything THAT fancy. Bogart is just amazing and it's been out for so long the history and sets are wonderful and special in their own right. The clothes, technologies, speech, everything is interesting and special to me in the film. It does receive an ever so slight downgrade from perfect due to the low quality of some of the extras poor acting, but that's the only knock I can hang on this great film.

Philomena: Judi Dench and Her Greatness

I'm so happy that Judi Dench hasn't retired, or even slowed down her acting career. She is a real treat who can play such an intimidating and tough "M" in the new Bond movies and make it look just as believable as the Irish Grandma who has seemingly never been outside of her small Irish town. The story follows her as she attempts to find her son that was taken from her while she was in an Irish convent working away her debt to the nuns and convent for taking her in for being a pregnant teenager who was disowned by her family. Steve Coogan is also spectacular as a former Government official (his title alludes me) who is asked to resign on a mistaken e-mail that he didn't actually send, it's almost like a running joke. With his spare time and while looking for something to do he decides to start writing again, possibly a book on Russian history. Judi Dench's character (Philomena) and her story falls right into his lap and he decides, originally against his will, to pursue her story. There are a lot of twists and turns and Coogan and Dench are amazing throughout. It's possible I liked it too much Dench's character reminds me of my Grandmother's and I was raised Catholic, so it's easy to identify/understand some of those parts as well. It's based on a true story/book and it's amazing, tragic, sad, triumphant, and so many other things. Bottom Line: 8.9 out of 10. It's easy to see how this was nominated for Best Picture and Best actress awards, and probably a few others (journalistic integrity checked out already, so I didn't bother to look it up).

Madison Baumgartner: That Dude Better Get Paid

Bumgarner put up a legendary performance on par with anything I've ever seen or heard of. An effort expected of pitcher's in the 1910's, but certainly not in the 2010's. Pitch counts, rest, and excuses were all out the window as Bumgarner had his name called in the 5th inning. He calmly dealt 5 scoreless innings and dominated. He didn't become unraveled when CF Gregor Blanco misplayed a fast-dropping single as badly as a drunken 9-year old would. He settled back in and popped out the next batter. This World Series is the kind of effort that will be talked about for years. A man who simply was unhittable on the largest possible stage. Clutch moments were brushed aside as Bumgarner simply made everything seem as easy as Spring Training. He seems utterly un-shakeable at this point. You'd want him in your foxhole, and you like the cut of his jib, let's be honest. How cool is the shaggy-haired and bearded man walking out to the mound and shutting it down in the World Series? I want to be Madison Bumgarner not just for Halloween, but for the rest of my life. Just the epitome of cool and calm. I'm expecting him to guest star in Sons of Anarchy and crush it on the Late Night TV circuit. I love how he seems to detest interviews and tries to give Belicheck/Popovich-esque answers. I'm currently enjoying and genuinely feeling so HAPPY for Jeremy Affeldt talking about how meaningful it was for him to win this one back in Kansas City, the start of his career and a very tough place for him. It made me wish Erin Andrews would just stand there and look pretty while Ken Rosenthal does the real work. For anyone who has never won something like a Championship in a "team" sport, I can say it's like nothing else. The culmination of hard work with your teammates, who at that point are most likely good friends of yours, is amazing and unlike anything else I've experienced. You don't know how to act because it's the last thing on your mind. I threw my racket across myself in an awkward motion and hugged my doubles partner so enthusiastically I almost threw him over my head, Greco-Roman style. I didn't want this to be about me, I just wanted to talk about the great Series and the incredible efforts of Bumgarner. I look forward to talking about watching Bumgarner own the Series like no pitcher before. Bob Gibson comes to mind, but I'm not certain a World Series has had a performance like Bumgarner's. Just a real pleasure to watch and enjoy.

Fury: 5 Rambo's stuck in a TANK

I apparently missed the boat on getting a boner over this one because Fury is still tracking very well on Rotten Tomatoes. The story follows a WWII tank crew, which they lie to you and pretend that being part of a tank crew was equivalent to running around with no gun during the seige or Stalingrad. Tank crews certainly experienced death, as did all parties associated with WWII, but they were far from "out-gunned" by Germany. German tanks weren't individually superior to U.S. tanks, they were just much smarter with tactics than every other country. The movie already pissed me off and that was before seeing Shia Lebeouf, so I knew that was a bad sign. The film goes through a skirmish to show off the skills of "Fury", the tank Pitt, Shia, Michael Pena (token minority), Jon Bernthal (Shane from Walking Dead), and Logan Lerman (Excellent, especially in Perks of Being a Wallflower). Lerman is the new guy, who replaces the first person lost to the "Fury" crew. The movie follows them on a few missions, shows their comraderie and interesting relationships. It's tolerable, though generally unbelievable, like the rest of the movie to follow. SPOILER ALERT TO FOLLOW: The "powers that be" decide that, despite having an enormous force pressing onward towards Germany, they are going to send 3 tanks to defend the medical tents, supply chain, and exposed rear of the entire Army. They engage in a tank fight and lose the other two tanks, leaving just Fury and 5 dudes between a German SS unit and the rear of the line. Their tank hits a mine, the tread falls off, they are immobile. The new guy goes on patrol and find 200-300 SS soldiers marching towards them. They decide, after much drama and intensity, that they are all staying and fighting. The SS is the German elite soldiers, but in this it's like Rambo fighting the Viet Cong. They are too stupid to use guns, or aim accurately, or fire one of the 50 anti-tank RPG's they show them carrying. Meanwhile our American boys kill everything in sight and heroically defend their tank, until they start getting picked off one-by-one. This should happen within 3 minutes, but this takes 30 or so. Bottom Line: 6.3 out of 10. Overhyped and gets into ridiculous mode way too often for me. I was never touched by their "brotherhood" and I couldn't get past the ridiculousness of a tank being completely surrounded by German soldiers who are too stupid to do anything except get shot running around near the tank. See it when it's free, but I wouldn't pay money to watch this thing.

Rushmore: Wes Anderson Starts

Rushmore follows Jason Swartzman playing a 15-year old private school student named Max Fisher who falls in love with a teacher at his private school. His obsession with her and what he does because of it gets him expelled from the school, which is his life. He is a part, usually the President, of about 15 clubs. He's about 10 years too old for the role, but that's the type of kid Max Fisher is. Bill Murray plays an awesome role as a business mogul who has two sons in Rushmore with Max. He falls in love with the same teacher. There are funny moments and your typical Wes Anderson weird, angsty stuff, but it's still good. Bottom Line: 8.1 out of 10. Funny and a lot of really good performances. Bill Murray is the man, simply put.

Gone Girl: A Movie Worth Seeing FINALLY

VERY happy I spent $5.00 to see this one. I knew nothing about the book/film before seeing it, whch is by far the best thing to do. I'm going to avoid spoilers of all kinds, so I'll tread lightly here. Ben Affleck is a husband who finds his wife missing on the morning of their 5th wedding anniversary. He's gone for 1.5 hours, and his house is lightly trashed (tipped coffee table broken, some pictures turned over) and his wife missing. He calls the police because the door was ajar and the signs of struggle and the movie really starts. It follows their relationship from a few major points to give you a picture of what's going on. There are a ton of twists and turns throughout, so you really never know what's REALLY going on, which is awesome. It's very well done and well written. I almost wish it were like Clue, where there are a bunch of different endings. The casting is stellar from top to bottom. I even have to give credit to Tyler Perry as a high-priced lawyer. Affleck and NPH are the other well-knowns who do great work, but relatively unknown Carrie Coon, Rosemund Pike, and Kim Dickens (DEADWOOD SHOUT OUT) really do a great job with very tough roles. Bottom Line: 9.2 out of 10. A really solid film. Having not seen a lot of movies this year, especially lately, this is probably my favorite film of the year that I've seen in theatres. Very well done and interesting. Worth seeing in theatres.

47 Ronin, Keanu Reeves is still not good at acting

47 Ronin is apparently an ancient Japanese tale that I'm going to completely ruin for everyone starting now. Keanu Reeves is a "half-breed" who is saved by Japanese royalty of some kind and adopted in the sense that he lives with them, but is far from family for most of them. Everything gets out of control when another "royalty" family visits with a witch. Keanu's "King" is forced into attempting to kill the other "King" by the witch, he fails, and then chooses suicide (hiri-kiri) to save his families honor. The 47 samurai are forced into exhile, hence becoming "Ronin's". The band gets back together to kill the other "King" and gain justice. Special effects are pretty good actually, but the movie really has no feeling or decent acting, so that gets painful and old quickly. The real kick in the balls is after killing the other King and the witch, they all earn the honor of getting to commit suicide as Samurai. They "win", but then all commit group suicide, so that's kind of a downer, but at that point I cared so little I thought it was fitting because there can't be sequels now. Bottom Line: 3.1 out of 10 for the special effects. Everything else is crap.