Robin Hood and McGruber

Yup, hit the double today with Robin Hood and McGruber.
Robin Hood- Russell Crowe plays the silent, tough guy who is the fearless leader and great man nobody knows about. It heaps historical inaccuracies together and sprinkles in some fact based stuff. It has a little bit of action, but nothing worth watching. I think Cate Blanchett does a really good job, but the script/plot is really boring. I honestly almost fell asleep, that's not even a joke or an attempt at humor. It left it open for some fun sequels, but I can't imagine anyone greenlighting that after this shit-show. Crowe is an archer named Robin Longstride along with your classic Will Scarlett, Little John, and some dude who I really can't remember what his name was. They are fighting in the crusades together for the last ten years, King Richard is killed (stupidly), the nobles taking his crown home are ambushed and murdered, Robin agrees to take Locksley's sword back to his Papa as a deathbed wish. Robin them takes over the helm of being ruler of Nottingham and all the bullshit that goes with it. I like the King John in this one, interesting take on it. Sprinkled some truth about him pissing off the nobles and pissing on the original Magna Carte draft so the nobles would fight for him versus France.

Bottom Line: 5.2 out of 10. Not good at anything, too long and boring for what it should be. Shouldn't Robin Hood be robbing and fucking shit up?

McGruber- I am a sucker for idiotic, sophomoric humor that can be disgusting and wrong, so I enjoyed the film for the most part. Val Kilmer was pretty good as expected as Dieter Von Kunth, and the name led to some comedy for course. A couple of funny running jokes that I laughed at. Kristin Wiig is both gorgeous and hilarious, great combo. Ryan Phillippe is Ryan Phillippe, or however you spell his douchebag name. Side note: Way to fuck it up with Reese Witherspoon Shooter.
Movie has a barely acceptable plot, but has enough funny stuff to piece it together. As always McGruber is too stupid to believe, but it leads to some comedy. If you laugh at stupid shit, random gross stuff and profanity, then by all means see this film. I wouldn't pay to see it in a theatre and I imagine the unrated version will be funnier anyway.

Bottom line: 7.3 out of 10. This rating is too high, but I laughed enough to give it a higher rating than it truly deserves. I fucking enjoyed myself, OK? I'm going to cut your dick off and shove it down your throat.